Search Results for: teen pregnancy

I read this story last week of 25-year-old Lashonda Armstrong. This mother apparently drove her car into the Hudson River with her four children (ages 10, 5, 2, and 11 months) inside. Only one, 10-year-old Lashaun, was able to escape. The mom and the other three children did not survive.

From what investigators have been able to piece together, Lashonda was hurt over her boyfriend’s alleged infidelity. She was frantic, her son Lashaun said, and packed the kids into the car.

If  you quickly do the math, you’ll see that Lashonda was 15 when she had her first child. Fifteen. She then had another kid at 20. Then at 23. Then at 24. I am not excusing what this mother did (or didn’t do), but I’m looking at how this could have been prevented.

People are quick to say that we should not support young mothers (financially, emotionally, etc.), because what incentive does that give the other young women not to take the necessary precautions (be it abstinence or regular birth control use) not to become pregnant? In other words, they’re asking, if we make it “easy” for young mothers to complete their degree and become financially stable, why wouldn’t everyone get knocked up on the government’s dime?

I have always thought this was a faulty argument and this New York story proves why.

If we continually turn our backs on young mothers, what becomes of the children? Where were the friends, social workers, community members – ANYONE – to help guide this mother? Who was there to help her see what a healthy relationship should look like or how she should expect respect? Who offered her a shoulder to lean on during tough times? Who offered to babysit so she could study? Who helped her, in any way, at any time, to help her feel like life was not impossible?

Again, I am not excusing what this mother did. I think it was horrendous, and the pain the surviving son must feel…I’m a pretty gifted writer, but I don’t think I would ever have the words to describe what he is going through and the agonizing fear that will haunt him for the rest of his life. Will the systems be in place NOW to keep watch over him and make sure he comes out of this ordeal relatively okay? Or will we fail him again and he will grow up to be broken and bruised?

*sigh*

In reading about this story, it becomes clearer to me that our country is failing our women and young girls. Our young mothers that are raising the next generation.

What do I mean by this? When I was in Florida a few weeks ago, listening to a panel of young mothers tell their stories (check out Charese’s story – I met her while there), I noticed a disturbing pattern: Drug-dependent parents. Horrific poverty. Sexual abuse. Physical abuse. Emotional abuse. Transient lifestyle. Early pregnancy. Homelessness.

Their stories began at a much younger age than many would believe. We’re talking about 3, 4, 5 years old. They were BABIES. If your spirit is broken as a toddler, a preschooler – how in the world can we expect these girls to have a healthy sense of themselves and make decisions that fit in the mold of what we’re “supposed” to do?

Their lives could have taken any number of turns. They, too, could have been at the end of their rope after years of dealing with bad relationships, or dead-ends, or feeling like the world doesn’t care about them.

But something miraculous happened to these women.

At a time when they needed it most, they were shown love. And support. Given a sense of purpose and direction that propelled them farther than they thought they could go. Given them permission to dream dreams larger than they ever imagined.

Now they are strong. They left relationships that left them broken; they were persistent in obtaining their Associate’s, and Bachelor’s, and Master’s degrees; they repaired relationships that required work; they set a goal and didn’t take their eyes off it until they reached it.

And therein lies the difference. And the more we can have those success stories, when being a young mom is embraced, not just as a matter of social policy, but as a matter of human decency, the better off we will ALL be.

Speak your piece in the comments.