I write about MTV’s “Teen Mom” a lot, mainly because the four moms on that show are the most famous young moms on the planet right now.
But I have to admit that I am not a faithful viewer of the show. Yes, I am rooting for these girls to succeed and I want their kids to have every opportunity they can grasp.
I want their dreams of a college education to come true.
I want their relationships with their child’s father to be healed.
And that’s where the problem lies.
We are all aware of the domestic violence that has occurred between Amber (Portwood) and her fiance(?) Gary (Shirley). How do we know this? Because it was filmed and broadcast on TV. (And it looks like it’s still occurring.) 
Violence is wrong. Period. But all too often, young women can’t quite recognize just how wrong it is.
I’ve been there. Young love is passionate. It’s strong. Much stronger than you. You think conflict = love. You think love = conflict. You think “I hate you!” is simply a precursor to more love.
The on-again, off-again relationship with Amber and Gary is all too familiar. The two don’t even seem to be in love anymore – hanging on is just habit. Do they know any better? Where is the support system? What about their parents? Who in their lives is able to sit them down and say, “Hey, maybe this isn’t such a good idea.”
Again, I go back to MTV, who holds ultimate control over this show and the message it’s broadcasting to millions. Is it okay to be in a violent relationship? If Gary had swung back, would MTV have allowed that as well? To give them a teensy bit of credit, they did put a message about a domestic violence hotline in the show, but does that go far enough? Of course not.
We need strong signals from everyone – parents, friends, the media included – that domestic violence is never okay. And it’s not okay in private and it’s not okay broadcast on TV in the form of entertainment.
Tell me what you think. At the very least, should MTV pull Amber and Gary from the show until they get their issues straightened out?
I know from seeing on the MTV message boards that a lot of viewers were furious that MTV could let that go on and then only put up a message at the end about a hotline. A lot of people do not like Amber and wants to see her punished for her actions and some have gone as far as to post her info on the MTV boards and urge people to call CPS on her and many did and now she is supposedly under investigation. I feel that it was very wrong to show that violence at such an extent and make it look like it was just a normal everyday occurrence that was an extension of their troublesome relationship; however if the roles had been reversed and Gary was the one hitting Amber I feel more action would have been taken. Also I think that they are unknowingly presenting the idea that when I woman hits on a man it’s somehow less serious and more accepted but that is very WRONG. It does not matter who is doing the abusing all forms of abuse is wrong and more light should have been shed on that issue.
I have not kept up with the show, but I did tune in to a few episodes where Amber was downright abusing Gary. Provoked or not, she was WRONG. As a young woman & mother she should make it a point to practice SELF CONTROL (especially in the presence of her child!) However, I don’t think they should be removed from the show because to me, Amber’s violent outbursts toward Gary serve more as awareness (for herself & others) than as entertainment. Her actions on the show were shameful, and I think anyone watching (from any age bracket) thought the same. Hopefully, seeing herself and her actions from someone else’s point of view has helped her make a serious change once and for all and take her professional help seriously. Watching herself lose control and act a fool on national television should be enough of an epiphany to evoke some kind of about-face.
You are so right. Violence is wrong in any case. I’ve even seen kids hit their moms or other children… Now where did they get this from? Did they see mom and dad hit each other? Are they being hit? Probably.
Either way, children need to grow up in an environment that deals with frustration in a different way than becoming violent. The message needs to be clear that violence is an unacceptable form of expression!
.-= artsy ant´s last blog ..surprise- cute animation! =-.
Oh this article needs to reach so many souls. I don’t watch on a regular basis, but it is criminal what MTV films w/0 intervening. Besides the domestic violence, the chick that keeps treating her baby like a doll, leaving him unattended allowing him to fall off the bed, etc. This is not entertainment by any means.
.-= Michele Renee´s last blog ..Advice For Hunting Down the Deadbeat Parent =-.
Oh this article needs to reach so many souls. I don’t watch on a regular basis, but it is criminal what MTV films w/0 intervening. Besides the domestic violence, the chick that keeps treating her baby like a doll, leaving him unattended allowing him to fall off the bed, etc. This is not entertainment by any means.
Michelle, I think you are talking about Farrah (she has a little girl named Sophia) and yes a few times we have witnessed her leaving Sophia alone on the bed or in the kitchen sink which resulted in her falling and burning herself with hot water. That was very disturbing to see but she has improved a lot since those earlier episodes and is now a pretty attentive mother who we watched mature throughout the show. So I would have to say that it was good to see her growing and showing other young mothers that they can become great mothers for their children, and I think all of her mistakes went to proving how she had to grow up quickly in order to be a decent mother to young Sophia.
This show and particularly this couple break my heart. She reminds me a lot of myself around her age. In relationships I emulated what I saw at home, which wasn’t always healthy. Eventually the guy got tired of it and went on about his way. We really need to start sending different messages about domestic violence, especially to our young girls. It is never okay for anyone to hit anyone, but while we’ve done much to get that message across to our boys, we haven’t done enough to get it across to the girls. I don’t care if he can theoretically do more damage to her than she could to him, both parties need to keep their hands to themselves.
.-= Denise´s last blog ..You’re A Grown Woman… Stop “Making-Do”! =-.
Yes, Amber and Gary need to get their issues worked out before MTV should continue filming them. And the same thing goes for Sammi and Ronnie from Jersey Shore. But since television networks are all about the ratings, they won’t do it. I’m sure what we see is just the tip of the iceberg. I feel particularly bad for baby Leah. As mentioned above, her mother treats her like a doll. I also feel Amber gets irritated too easily and is very impatient with Leah. For instance, Leah wasn’t doing anything bad in one episode and Amber put her in her crib where she left her screaming for who knows how long. It’s the better place for Leah if Amber is at risk of hurting her, but if it’s happening all the time than somebody else who can better handle a child should have Leah in their custody. Farrah makes me sick too. She thinks the world owes her something and I can’t believe she left her daughter alone in a sink full of water. People say Farrah has improved and I agree, she has taken more responsibility for Sophia, but her attitude still sucks.