I’ve been doing a lot lately.

And I’m wearing myself into the ground.

I’ve been working full-time, being a mommy, trying to hold it down at home while my hubby works crazy long summer hours and maintaining this blog and my freelance projects.

My house is a mess, I’m unorganized, our laundry situation should be illegal, my daughter and son both need a deep conditioner in the worst way and my hair is feeling pretty dry too. The carpet needs to be cleaned, the dishwasher loaded, the toys put away. If you walked into my house, you’d probably wonder aloud exactly how many people live here.

My bank account is drained because I’m an emotional shopper, meaning filling up my carts with $1 crap at Target makes me feel better - and less stressed.

I haven’t spent any quality time with the hubby in weeks, my focus at work is waning, my poor, poor lawn looks like no one inside cares whether it lives or dies.

How do you cope with this - feeling like you’re not doing anything particularly well? I wish there was one area where I felt like I could at least be proud of the work I’m doing, but nope, not really.

Am I the only one who remembers being a kid and wanting to be an adult so I could do whatever I wanted and no one could tell me what to do? How ironic is it that all I want to do is have someone take care of me?

Help, please.

It’s Wednesday so you know what it is! The young mommy chat is TONIGHT at 9 p.m. EST where we will be tackling part two of last week’s convo on surviving the first five years of motherhood.

Last week we talked about pregnancy (how the heck we made it through), labor, baby products we loved (slings and carriers were tops), how long it took to get back into a groove (*wink, wink*), and a little bit about potty training.

Tonight we pick up where we left off - combating the terrible twos, making time for yourself and your career, potty training, etc.

To join in, go to www.tweetchat.com and login in with your Twitter username and password. Enter #youngmoms as the room name.

See you at 9!

 I like to work. There. I said it.

I like working on a project, seeing it to completion, getting big kudos and tackling the next one. I like putting this degree to use.

I love to write. If I didn’t write, I would die.

On the other hand, I do love my kids. Love ‘em more than anything.

I know we could get by on just one income. We really could, even with this new mortgage. But I worry too much about the what ifs: What if something happens to my husband? He’s fired or disabled? How will I pay for retirement? What if some financial catastrophy occured? How would we dig ourselves out?

My mom was a stay-at-home mom for a number of years after she had my second sister. I don’t really remember that time, but from what my mom tells me, it was stressful. “Only be a stay-at-home mom if you can really afford it,” she said to me. “It’s no fun to be at home with the babies if you keep hearing bill collectors call all day.”

My parents experiences with money still stick with me. I need to make sure that my kids know that everything is okay, that Mommy and Daddy will take care of it, that nothing is going to happen on our watch. My parents did the best they could, but I know that is not the lifestyle for me.

I like having extra money around. No, I NEED to have extra money around. I like having money in savings, in checking, in stocks, in CDs, wherever I need to have money.  Things happen all the time. The dishwasher breaks. The car breaks down. The kid has to go to the ER, with the accompanying $500 bill.

I know I can’t prepare for everything, and even with two incomes, something might creep up that we are unprepared for. But I like to think I’m doing the best I can for my kids. That’s all the counts.

Moms who work outside the home - why do you do it? The financial flexibility? The adult conversation? Stay at home moms - did you always know you would stay home with the kids? What’s your favorite part of the job?

Confession time: Both of my kids were “Surprise!” babies.

The first one? Well, we weren’t careful.

The second? Well, we weren’t careful enough.

“Surprise!” babies carry a special type of “Mommy guilt” that comes even before the baby is born. Now a new study says that moms with unplanned kids treat them differently. Great.

There’s not much that can make me feel inadequate about my mothering skills. But the fact that these precious babies were created without so much as a thought on my behalf as to whether or not I could provide for them still makes me shiver.

Why didn’t I realize how serious motherhood was? Why didn’t I realize all the work that goes into simply keeping kids alive, let alone happy, healthy and loved?

Ever since I peed on the stick with my first child and the dreaded “Pregnant” appeared, my life has been a constant game of catch-up. Rushing to get health insurance for the babies. Rushing to graduate. Rushing to get married. Rushing to buy a house. Rushing to pick a day care. Rushing to get a full-time job. Rushing to buy baby gear.

Rushing. Rushing. Rushing.

A (childless) friend of mine has an entire blog dedicated to her journey toward motherhood.  She questions everything - will she use cloth diapers? What strollers are best? How to breastfeed? Become a stay-at-home mom? Should she go on a babymoon first?

With each post I die a little more inside.

Just watching as she plans her life, plans for her unborn children, making the necessary preparations to make sure her kids have the best start in life.

“Damn,” I think to myself when I read her blog, “what a great mom she’ll make. Why wasn’t that me?”

Her blog is a fabulous read, but the fact that she can make a whole blog about her journey to motherhood makes me sad that I never even pondered anything.

I just dove in, even though I’m a planner by nature. I like to know what’s coming next, how to prepare, how to get there. But why was I so…careless? 

I firmly believe that making decisions as you go is the best route for motherhood. Because I’ve lived it.

But damn if I don’t envy those who were responsible and conscious of their decisions and made the active choice to get pregnant. I envy you all, I really do.

Almost three years later, I’ve found my mommy groove. I love it. I’m happy.  But things happen for a reason. No, I didn’t have health insurance when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. No, I wasn’t married. No, I hadn’t graduated from college.

It wasn’t easy, and there was nothing “cute” about it.

But I made it. Surprise!

What about you? Did you feel guilty that you had a “Surprise!” baby? Wish you could have planned it better? Share it in the comments.

Passion.

Determination.

Creativity.

Undeniable talent.

Mix all those things and you have one very real Michael J. Jackson.

I grew up (like millions of other people) listening to his music, trying my darnedest to copy his complex dance moves without breaking my toes. My moonwalk is still a work in progress.

My sister and I tied our wrists together and did the knife fight scene from the Beat It video.

We squealed when Remember the Time came on and Mike spun around and disappeared into the pile of sand.

Smooth Criminal? When he hit that lean? OOOOOOOHHHH!!!!

Regardless of the controversy surrounding his life for most of my recollection of him, there was a genius behind the crazy.

Look at that picture up there. That’s pure joy on his face. Whether his love of performing was his refuge or his downfall, that’s not for us to speculate. All I know is that he was darn good at it. Could command a stage like nobody’s business.

His music is timeless, just as hot today as it was 30 years ago. I turned on “Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough” yesterday and my daughter got up, shimmied a bit and exclaimed, “Mommy, I LIKE that song.”

Let’s all take a moment and realize that MJ provided the soundtrack for our lives and how powerful that is.

Thank you, MJ. For everything.

I love these posts the most because I usually get the best responses. I’m blessed to have so many wonderful, intelligent, resourceful moms stop by. I’m in awe of you all sometimes.

Here is the latest dilemma a reader has regarding potty training her son:

My little guy is 3 years old and while he shows all the signs of being ready, he just likes his diapers. What can we do? Is there anything that worked really well for anyone else?

Well, I’m currently potty training my 2.5 year old and I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. None. She’s getting there, but only by the grace of God!

Let’s help her out: Is there anything you did that really worked? How about rewards, a certain schedule, etc?

As a faithful viewer (or at least I used to be) of Jon & Kate Plus 8, the recent nnouncement that the couple will divorce has saddened me.

Anyone who has ever watched just one episode could easily see they never had the best marriage on the planet. Somehow I think we were all hoping the fog would lift one day, they would look up and say, “Hey, we’re in this together - let’s make it work.”

But instead, here they are - headed for divorce court.

In watching the show, I’ve noticed some glaring mistakes the young couple made. Care to turn this into a teachable moment? Okay, let’s take a trip down “Please learn from our marriage mistakes” lane.

1) Watch your tone. Kate is infamous for the way she would talk to Jon, usually treating him like her ninth child instead of a grown man. Check out the clip starting at 8:10 and at 9:35.

Not so nice, right? I know she’s stressed, but taking out your stress on other people rarely, if ever, ends well.

2) Keep your family close. Ever notice that you rarely if ever saw any relatives on the show? Understandably, not everyone is comfortable with the idea of cameras videotaping you when you just want to come by and visit your nieces and nephews or cousins or grandkids. But both Jon and Kate have said that the kids don’t really have relationships with the grandparents. Her brother Kevin and his wife Jodi (once a regular on the show) have now turned on them, airing out the dirty laundry for everyone to get a whiff. Ouch. What if instead of having to fight this battle alone, Jon and Kate had the support of their family? Because now, it’s just…this:

3) Understand each other. Make sure you both understand the role you play in the relationship. Jon and Kate could have made a good team. Kate could have kept the housing running and organized, and Jon could have brought a much needed laid-back attitude. Instead, Kate wanted Jon to take control while not wanting to relinquish said control. Jon wanted Kate to lighten up, despite the fact that if she did, their lives would be in shambles. Lesson here? Play to your strengths. If you’re the laidback one, accept that, and use what you bring to the table to help the marriage work.  

4) Communicate that something is wrong as soon as possible. Again, I don’t live with the Gosselins, nor do I know what goes on when the cameras aren’t there. I haven’t seen any unedited footage. But what I do see if a couple who never really hashed things out. Never got to the root of a problem, instead choosing to deal with it later. Kate once mused in an episode that, “We don’t have time to work on our tone. We’re too busy trying to survive.” Well, we see how that turned out, right?

5) Your marriage comes first, even before the kids. I hate when people say their kids come first. That’s extremely unnecessary. Of course you will always take care of your kids and if push comes to shove you’re choosing them over everyone else. We understand that. But by continually saying, “It’s for the kids. We just care about the kids. The kids are our life…” you inevitably make it OK to ignore the problems in your marriage. It’s secondary. It’s not as important. When in reality, your marriage is a huge part of your life.

What do you think we could all learn from this? Curious to hear your thoughts…

This Wednesday’s TweetChat topic - “Surviving the first 5 years of motherhood”

This will be a two-part chat, with this week covering through pregnancy to the terrible twos, and next week finishing up discussing potty training, preschool, terrible threes (lol), reading, kindergarten, etc.

It begins tomorrow (Wednesday, June 24) at 9 p.m. EST. Invite all the young moms you know! Here are some of the questions for this week’s chat:

Which trimester of pregnancy was the hardest for you? How did you manage?

Labor stories! Share your personal tale in 140 characters!

The first few weeks of motherhood - How sleep deprived WERE you? What was the biggest challenge? Who was successful at breastfeeding? Who wasn’t?

How did your relationship change once you had a kid? If you weren’t in a relationship, how did your views on dating, relationships, sex change?

How do you keep track of all the memories? Do you have a baby book, do a personal blog, take lots of photos, etc?

When did your kids hit certain year one milestones? Were they early or late? Did you freak out?

Did you have to figure out childcare options or did you decide to stay home with the kids? How was the transition?

Activities with the kids - what do you do with your kids all day long?

Terrible twos - how do you deal with the yelling, tantrums and independent streaks? 

Again, these are just some of the questions - I’m sure there will be others. Feel free to post your own questions as well!

To join the chat, log in to www.tweetchat.com with your Twitter username and password. Enter #youngmoms as the room name. (You can also follow along by searching “#youngmoms” on Twitter.) See you then!

Most of my loyal readers know I highlight a young mom (a blogger or not, doesn’t matter!) every month in my Spotlight section. (See the tab up top?)

It’s time for me to get a few moms in the lineup because you are all spectacular and I want you all to get your moment to shine!

If you are interested in being featured (and please don’t be shy!), just contact me on the Contact form on the Contact page. Got it? Good.

The Boy Scouts have NOTHING on a veteran mama. We’re always, always, always prepared.

My little sis asked me to pick her up from the airport so she could surprise our Dad for Father’s Day. Here’s the deal:

She was arranging for a mid-day flight.

I needed to pick up the kids by 5.

The airport is about an hour from my house.

“Should I take the 10 a.m., noon, or the 3 p.m. flight?” she asks.

I quickly said, “10 a.m.”

“Why?”

“Because I have to pick the kids up at 5.”

“But that’s like six hours apart.”

“I know,” I reply.  

“I don’t get it. Why do you need to be so early?”

I took a deep breath. “Because. You have to factor in traffic, weather conditions, airport delays, the possibility of the car breaking down, the time it would then take to call a cab or AAA, or if the highway is blocked off and you have to detour 25 minutes in the wrong direction or WHATEVER. ”

My sister chuckled. “Do you really prepare for all those different scenarios?”

I was serious. “Yes. I’m always prepared for the worst case scenario.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. Anytime I do anything, I ask myself, ’What’s the worst possible thing that could happen to throw me off my schedule?’ Because with kids, it probably will.”

“You’re serious,” my sister says.

“I AM! You have no idea how many times I’ve been rushing to get the kids and a 18-wheeler blew up on the side of the road (true story), or on a sunny day it was a sudden hailstorm, or I get a flat tire.”

My sister laughed. I was serious.

Moms, do you feel me on this? Do you often plan for the worst, or factor in some time in case something happens?

Just a reminder ladies!

The TweetChat is tonight, (Wednesday) at 9 p.m. EST. We’ll be answering all the questions you’ve wanted to know about sex drives after baby. As always, we promise to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth about motherhood!

To join in, log-in to www.tweetchat.com with your Twitter username and password. (Not on Twitter? Please join, if only for me! I’m working on another solution, but in the meantime, Twitter’s it.) Enter #youngmoms as the room name and join the conversation.

We usually go from 9-10, with a few moms continuing the conversation after that. I will moderate, meaning I’ll just throw out questions from time to time to get people talking.

This week’s questions:

• How was your sex drive before you had kids?
• After you had kids, were you scared that sex would “feel different”, both physically and mentally?  
• How long after you had your first child did you resume having sex?
• Who actually feels comfortable naked?

And so on and so on…Hope to see you there!

No matter what I’m doing, or what my day looks like, I know I have to make dinner, preferably done by the time my hubby and kids come home. If you don’t grab my daughter as soon as her coat comes off, the chances of getting her to eat anything are very, very slim.

It’s like wrestling an alligator, really.

And I know I’m not alone. The whole, What’s-for-dinner-what-will-they-eat-am-I-getting-fat-maybe-I-should-just-order-a-pizza-oh-that’s-right-I-am-trying-to-save-money-so-I-guess-I-will-just-go-ahead-and-make-something-so-then-what’s-for-dinner? routine is something every mom goes through, especially us young moms.

So I created a totally separate blog, called A Lil’ Butter, which will feature recipes, products, appliances, etc., to help you learn how to cook. But don’t worry - I will feature the recipes over here as well.

Already know how to cook? Visit me anyway and share some of your favorite recipes as a guest post. I know I’m always looking for new recipes to try out.

Psst - Want to know where the name of the blog comes from? Well, it means a couple things. I’m a firm believer that a little butter does wonders for a dish. Finishing off a sauce, giving meat a little more flavor, etc. But it’s also about being healthy. It’s just a little butter. Not a ton. It’s also my philosohy toward life. Just a little extra in life can do wonders.

So please visit me over there and let’s help each other out!

Last week’s TweetChat didn’t go so smoothly, as we had some technical difficulties. But let’s press on.  Fingers crossed all goes smoothly!

This week’s topic: sex and the young mom. Get ready to get personal in here and share if your sex life has changed (if it has! *wink, wink*) since having kids. We can also continue last week’s discussion on body issues as it relates to our sex drive.

The chat begins at 9 p.m. EST on Wednesday. To join us, log onto www.tweetchat.com with your Twitter username and password. To enter the young moms chat, enter #youngmoms for the room name.

If for some reason TweetChat decides to act funky and not refresh to show you the latest updates, you can also follow along on Twitter by doing a search for #youngmoms.

I’m currently exploring some other avenues for doing this and if anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to let me know either at youngmommychronicles@gmail.com or through the contact form on the Contact page.

A friend of mine from high school opened up this question to me. Let’s see if we can help her out:

“I am starting my first “big girl” job in about a week and a half. As a young professional who doesn’t have much money starting before my first paycheck, where the heck can young women get nice, quality clothes for a relatively reasonable price?”

Simple enough question it seems. But I realized I couldn’t really help her out. I’m struggling with this issue myself. I’m tired of running to Old Navy every weekend like it’s the only store that exists simply because it fits my budget.  She continues: 

“I mean, I shop the sales and keep my email updates about what is happening at my favorite stores and love it when I can find 20 dollar pants at the Gap, but that takes lots of time and effort to search sale racks, attempt to get to a store when there might be sales going on, etc. ”

Yeah, it’s hard work to catch a bargain these days. I keep my e-mail inbox flooded with those “$15 off a $50 purchase” offers, but I never make it to the mall because it expires. Which brings about her last point:

“For people who are busy, how can you add shopping for reasonably priced clothes into the mix, especially when you are beyond the Old Navy age but not quite the Ann Taylor?  So to add this to the young mom - when do they have time for this if there are kids to take care of, deadlines at work, and meals to make?”

Your thoughts?

Where do you shop? How much do your pants usually cost? Can you buy a whole outfit for less than $100? What’s your limit when buying clothes?

And be real: do you look nice at work but during the weekend (your casual time) do you look as put together? Where do you shop to buy nice casual clothes?

If there’s one thing moms do perfectly, it’s how much we compare ourselves to other moms.

To that, I say, it’s ridiculous.

It took me a long time to be comfortable with myself, to understand my views on motherhood, to realize that I am DOING THE BEST I CAN WITH WHAT I’M WORKING WITH.

I don’t have to compare myself to other mothers, to compare my kids to other kids, to compare my life with other people’s lives.

I.

just.

don’t.

have.

time.

Plus, when you compare yourself to everyone else, inevitably you will feel worse about yourself and your choices. “So-and-so’s kids go to music classes on the weekend and we just stay home and watch Mickey Mouse. Maybe I should…?”

Don’t worry about what other parents are doing. Don’t compare yourself to other moms. Are your kids happy? Healthy? Loved? Well taken care of? Then you’re set!

Updated to add: While you’re so busy comparing yourself to other moms, they’re probably comparing themselves to you, wondering why they don’t measure up to you. Think about that!  

What about you? Do you compare yourself to other moms? Compare your kids to other kids? Why or why not? Do you plan to stop? Think it’s healthy? You can’t help yourself? Let me know!

Sometimes I think my mom slips up and thinks my daughter is her daughter.

Case in point: I went home with my daughter to see my youngest sister off to prom a couple weeks ago. Her date’s mom came by too, to take pictures of her baby boy.

She gave a knowing smile to my mom and said, “Three down, one to go, right?” nodding toward my daughter. Instead of correcting her and saying, “Um, no, chile, that’s my granddaughter,” my mom just gave a big grin, essentially claiming my daughter as her own.

If you have a baby in your early 20s or teens, your mom hasn’t quite let go yet. She still sees you as a her baby, so in her mind, her baby having a baby just doesn’t compute. To her, it feels like she just added another kid to her mix.

So how can you get Mama to see that you are capable of raising your own kids, but letting her know you appreciate the support?

• Give her opportunities to help. Ask her to help you in the areas you need help so she’ll feel needed. Need someone to hold the baby while you take a shower? Ask her.
• Be firm. Tell her respectfully, “Mom, I can handle it.”
• Be aware of her needs. Some moms (mine included) pout when things don’t go their way. If you notice she’s particularly upset, back off for a little while. She’s just excited about her grandbaby.   

Do you often struggle with your mom about your ability to raise your child? Or do you have the opposite problem - having to beg to get her to participate in the child’s life?

When I offered my readers a chance to win a Home Depot gift card, I didn’t expect so many people to come out and share so many great memories. There are truly some great dads out there and I feel better knowing so many of you will have those memories forever!

Congrats to Crystal S, my random winner. (Send me your contact info, lady!)

Here are some of the comments moms left, edited for space:

“My Dad and I were a lot closer during my young childhood but when I think of my Dad now I think of us simply just reading together. Him reading to me those few nights, making the silly voices and us giggling together was priceless. It’s such a simple memory but it still brings smiles nearly 20 years later.”

“My dad taught me to cook my first dish–scrambled eggs–at age six. I thought they were the yummiest thing EVER! Made them everyday for about a month. He helped me make and eat them everytime, though in hindsight I know he was probably totally sick of them by day 4.”

“My Dad would travel from our home in Queens over an hour to our favorite bakery in the Bronx and buy us a strawberry shortcake. Just thinking about it makes my mouth water. ”

“My favorite memory though is from when I was about 7 or 8. I had the stomach flu and couldn’t keep anything down. My mom couldn’t get off of work to take care of me, so my dad (in the navy at the time) stayed home to take care of me. He fed me chicken noodle soup and stayed with me in my room all day until my mom got home.”

“The first time I ever danced with my father was at my wedding. Somehow I was able to savage my makeup during the dance. But, I will always remember that dance as a transition from being “daddy’s little girl” to a wife. ”

“Driving with my dad from Tallahassee, Fl to Baltimore, Md. Absolutely the best time I’ve ever had with him. He drove the Penske truck full of my stuff while I drove my car. When we arrived in Baltimore at midnight he drove home and went to work the next morning. The world’s greatest dad!”

“My Dad is soo excited right now-I am expecting his first grandchild and probably only one in the next couple weeks. He can’t be here for the birth as he is unable to travel right now but told me that knowing he ius going to be a “grandpa” has totally changed his attitude and he has started taking better care of himself so he can travel when he is better.” 

“My favorite memories of my dad were when he taught me how to drive — at the ripe age of 14! Before I even had a learner’s permit, he had me out on the highway learning to change lanes. He took me to an old industrial park and used trash cans as parked cars, but I still never got the hang of parallel parking. I guess it was valuable for more than memories, because I’ve never had so much as a parking ticket.”

“Well, funny you should mention it, but among my favorite memories of my dad is his pancakes, but they were Saturday morning and always tasted of a hint of banana and were the size of the plate yum, you’re making me want one!”

Father’s Day is around the corner and I don’t know about you, but I struggle every year to get the man in my life something. And my Dad? Pfft. He’s even worse.

See, my husband has no hobbies. No real interests other than the L.A. Lakers and the family. He doesn’t read. Isn’t really into clothes. Doesn’t need another tie. Doesn’t really like gadgets.

See, what I’m working with?

But just because I’m stuck trying to find something doesn’t mean you have to. The good folks over at Home Depot have offered my readers a chance to win a $100 gift card.*

To win, all you have to do is the following: Leave a comment telling me your favorite memory of your dad. Doesn’t have to be long. Something like, “He always made the best pancakes on Sunday morning” will suffice.

*I don’t like to make my giveaways complicated. I don’t like it when people make you follow them on Twitter, leave a comment, write a blog post about it, submit a short video, run a 10K, name your next baby Alex, etc, just to win a $25 Burger King card.  I, for one, don’t have time to be checking all these different places to make sure you complied. I’m lazy.

Simple enough? The contest ends tomorrow at 5 p.m. (See, I told you I like to keep things easy.) I’ll select a winner at random. (See, even easier.)

Good luck!

I’d say last week’s TweetChat (www.tweetchat.com - #youngmoms) was a huge success. More than 20 mamas came through to share their tips on saving money and making a dollar stretch in this economy. Y’all weren’t afraid to be real and I loved that! Some, like me, are hopelessly lost with the coupons and others are kicking down debt and building up an emergency fund.

I’ve decided to make this a weekly chat because don’t we all need a little young mom time in our lives, where we can just be free to be ourselves and talk to other moms who “get” us? I think so.

So join us Wednesday at 9 p.m. EST at www.tweetchat.com, and enter #youngmoms as the room name. This week we’ll be talking about body image - how we felt about ourselves before baby and how our post-baby bodies look. Share any advice/tips/thoughts/opinions! 

For all you West Coast mamas, feel free to join in when you can if 9 p.m. EST is too early. Last week we ended up talking for more than an hour so the discussion should still be going strong if you join a little later!

See you then!

Some of my most loyal readers know I use the Mirena IUD for birth control and wrote about it when I had it inserted in September 2008.  Once I got over my fear of having something placed in my uterus (in an exam room, no pain medication, nada) and had it inserted, it was time to see if this thing lived up to the hype.

There’s only two camps when it comes to the Mirena. You love it or you hate it.

I love it.

I’ve had it about what, nine months? (Too lazy to count.) And I haven’t gotten pregnant so there you go. All the commercials say you’ll have shorter, lighter periods and a large percentage of women don’t have periods at all. Let’s just say I haven’t entered the realm of period-free, “OH MY GOD THAT MUST BE FANTASTIC,” no-Always-Playtex-OB-Cotex/CVS brand feminine product way of living.  But they are much lighter and I don’t have the debilitating cramps that I used to suffer from so much that each month I was guaranteed to have to stay home curled up in bed for two days no matter how much Advil or Tylenol or Motrin I took.

And I haven’t gotten pregnant. Did I mention that?

All in all, I love it. Because I haven’t gotten pregnant. People say, “Oh, well, I’ve heard horror stories and I wouldn’t want anything up there,” to which I say, “I haven’t gotten pregnant.” Which is the main thing.

Tell me, what do you use? Anyone else use an IUD? Birth control pills? The ring? Implant? Anyone still on the patch?

…make a bottle without spilling formula powder on the counter?

….change a diaper without getting poop on my hand?

…keep my car clean for more than two days?

…make it to 7 p.m. without being truly and utterly exhausted?

…go to bed before midnight?

…find time to work out?

…find time for more sleep?

…slow down when I eat?

…find some clothes that fit?

…have more fun with the kids?

…just log off of Twitter?

…relax without worrying?

…work without stress?

These are just a few of the questions going through my mind today. What’s on your mind?

I walked into my son’s room this morning, like I do every morning to wake him up, change his diaper and clothes, and feed him breakfast.

I peek over the railing of his crib. 

So peaceful. So serene.

My son, laying on his side, hands in little half-fists, mouth open, humming. Wish I could have bottled that and kept it with me all day.

And then I realized.

One day I won’t have to wake up and make him a bottle. I won’t have to check to make sure we have enough diapers before he goes to bed and my infamous midnight Wal-mart diaper runs will be a thing of the past. I won’t have to put on his clothes for him.

One day, I will walk into his room and there won’t be a baby, but little boy. And then a teenager. Instead of a crib, there will be a full-sized bed. He’ll be big, arms hanging off the bed, clothes on the floor, subtle hints of a moustache growing. He’ll be on his way to being a man.

I’m not a sappy mom by any means, but I wonder: How many more of these mornings will I get? Is it gradual or do you just wake up one day, blink and your babies are now…grown?

Have you ever had one of those mom moments where you feel like motherhood is rapidly passing you by? Share in the comments!

I love the community we have built here over the past year, but it seems like I am the one that benefits most.

You all come here, leave comments addressed to me and then I respond. I meet tons of interesting moms, but you guys just meet…me. Over and over again.

So in an effort to change that, I decided to try something new. Every Wednesday night at 9 p.m. will be Young Moms night over at Twitter. (Haven’t joined Twitter yet? Please do, if only for me!)

Here’s how this will go down:

Using your twitter username and password, log in at www.tweetchat.com. When prompted to enter the room name, enter #youngmoms. Then you will be able to see everyone’s tweets on one screen. (It’ll be like old school chatrooms - so 1998!)

We can try this and see how it works. We can use this time to discuss issues with the kids, issues with us, issues with relationships - whatever! I will moderate, which means I’ll just throw out questions from time to time. First question: How is everyone saving money these days? Share all your money tips!

I do hope I can see you all there.

I’m @theyoungmommy, in case you didn’t know. Introduce yourself in the comments and I hope to see you tonight!

“You look like you’re 12.”

I hear it so often that I can’t even get mad anymore. I got pulled aside at the airport security checkpoint when my husband and I were leaving for our honeymoon. The security checkpoint person pulled me aside and asked me, “Are you traveling by yourself?”

Me: “Um, yes?”

Security: ”You don’t have anyone escorting you?”  

Me, thinking: “Damn, is this Baghdad? Since when do I need an escort?”

Me, talking: “Um, I’m traveling with my husband.” Pointed to my hubby who was staying a comfortable distance away from me as if to imply, “Hey, if you found some drugs on her, I don’t know that lady.”

Security to my husband: “Is she with you?”

Me, thinking: “What the heck??!”

Husband: “Yeah, we’re just going on our honeymoon.”

Security: “Oh, I thought you were underage. You look like you’re about 12. I’m sorry.”  

It is so hard and so frustrating to get respect as a grown woman, a mother of two, a wife, a public relations professional, when people constantly assume you are half your age.

When I share this complaint with people, they tell me I’m blessed. “Just think, when you’re 50, you’ll look like you’re 20!”

Um, tell how how that’s good? When I’m 50, I want people to KNOW I’m 50. To respect the wisdom that comes with age. When people assume you’re younger, they also assume you’re dumber.

I know a lot of my young mommy readers go through this too because when I see your photos I admit I question you too: “She can’t be 30! She doesn’t look a day over 18!”

How do you all deal with the constant age-guessing? Do you take it in stride or do you get offended?

I honestly don’t want to write about Jon and Kate Plus 8 anymore, but something about this whole drama/scandal/ratings push/tabloid affair makes me seethe.

Now, I know that Kate isn’t the world’s nicest person and she probably won’t have the marriage counselor on her side when and if she and Jon decide on some therapy sessions.

But.

This is a woman who has eight kids. Went from zero kids to eight kids in a little over three years. She lost her job, her husband lost his, and they were staring at eight babies trying to figure out how to feed them.

So TLC comes along. They say, “Hey, your family is interesting - can we do a one-hour special on you?” Probably thrilled that they will be able to pay some bills, the Gosselins agree. It’s not like TLC was MTV or ABC. Can you even name a show on TLC before the Gosselin crew arrived? They probably had no clue what they were getting into, but figured since they had control over when the crews shot, everything would be okay.

Fast forward four years.

Their marriage in shambles, the kids old enough to know what’s going on, financial situation noticably improved, Jon stays home with the kids while Kate embarks on her new career as a book author/mom maven.

People have been giving her all kinds of crap for being away from home so much, and making Jon stay home with the kids.

Excuse me? Didn’t Kate quit her job as a nurse to stay home and watch all those babies from the beginning? Wasn’t Jon away from the house the majority of the day working?

So now when the kids are older and more independent and -gasp! - in school during the day, it’s somehow bad for Kate to have a career? Did anyone ever think that maybe, just maybe this second career will enable them to quit the show, or at the very least, allow them to pull back and go back to the one-hour specials?  

What if Kate never did the show? Can you imagine the hours they would probably be working to support all those kids?

It’s like she’s damned if she does and damned if she doesn’t. When you didn’t see Kate flying off to book signings, people criticized her for being lazy and just laying around the house while TLC wrote the checks. Now that she’s actually writing books and doing appearances, now the criticism shifts to, “Oh, look she’s never home.”

I read her book, Multiple Blessings and this is a woman who didn’t really leave the house during the first year of the sextuplets life. Read that again. She didn’t leave the house.

Let’s not forget, she’s only, what? 34? Now that the kids are older and in school, what exactly is she supposed to do? If she never had aspirations to be a stay-at-home mom, why should she be now?