So I’m going to be in Washington D.C. next week to discuss issues affecting young moms. I’m excited. I’m thrilled. I feel like all of the work on this blog is finally becoming something larger, something that I can use to create change on a wider level.

But I didn’t make it to this point alone and I never want to feel like I’m solely speaking from my experiences. (You guys know I love you, right?) 

I want your thoughts. Tell me what I should say. Let me know what you think should be discussed. What do you think is THE most important issue facing young mothers? Quality, affordable education options? Relationship support? Dependable childcare? Stable housing? Desirable career choices?

I’ll be writing my remarks this weekend, and I’ll be taking whatever you all leave me in the comments as a starting point.

Please give your two cents. I’ll be meeting with a few Senators in a one-on-one meeting (I’m nervous!) so I want to be prepared. Let me know what you think is important.

I think I’m more excited about the DVD release of the Princess and the Frog than I was when the movie hit theatres. And you all remember how pumped I was.  

But the DVD is much cooler because I can keep it - hold it - play it over and over again.

And now so can you.

I am giving away THREE copies of the Princess and the Frog DVD for you to enjoy with your little ones again and again.

In addition to the movie (which is fabulous just on its own) there are bonus features, including deleted scenes and audio commentary by John Musker and Ron Clements (co-writers and directors) and Peter Del Vecho (producer). There’s also Ne-Yo’s “Never Knew I Needed”music video, and a bayou-style quiz that tests your knowledge of all of
Disney’s beautiful princesses. I’m all in.

If you know me, I like to keep my giveaways simple. A lot of people use giveaways as an opportunity to build their numbers on their social networks, giving them special tweets to send out on Twitter, and a certain number of comments they’re allowed daily.

I don’t really like that, if only because I’m lazy. I don’t have to time to go back and see who’s a fan and who’s not following me on Twitter and who commented four times. Enough already!

(If you’d like to follow me on Twitter and become a fan on Facebook, feel free, but you do not need to do so for the purposes of this giveaway.)

To enter:

Leave a comment saying what is your favorite Disney movie. Always interesting to see what people pick. {Mine is a tie between The Lion King and (duh!) The Princess and the Frog.} The giveaway ends Monday, March 15. DVDs hit stores on March 16th, so winners will receive their DVDs the following week.

Good luck!

I wrote a post previously about getting (and keeping) it hot, with tips on how to get yourself out of your intimacy rut. But what if you need a little more help? What if you need some outside assistance in getting your date nights off to a great start, to helping you plan outings that will TRULY put the spark back into your relationship?

I was contacted by a loyal reader, Michelle, who is in the process of creating her own business. After working for years in event planning and management, she’s decided to start her own date planning company. How cool is that? Her proposed company will help you and your significant other plan unforgetable dates.

“The company’s slogan is ‘A Kiss Is The Autograph of Love,’”Michelle says. ”But I really feel like this company will help all the workaholics and not-so-romantic people WOW their mate. Bottom line, date night should be a priority to all couples - that one-on-one time can really make a difference! Even the President finds time to date his wife.”  

Please take a moment to take this survey. It will help her as she plans for her date concerige business, and we should all celebrate another young mom trying to reach her goals of entrepreneurship.

I’ve started and saved about four posts trying to give you something good to read for Tuesday (which sometimes can be the longest day of the week, it seems).

But my brain hurts. I’m struggling. And I don’t want to toss something up there just for the sake of having some words on the screen. So I’m taking a mental break. With work levels high, my kids been needy, my husband coming down with a cold, this upcoming trip to D.C., I’m just short on ideas.

But I’ll be back to my normal self on Wednesday. I just need a good night’s sleep. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

This post all started as a response to these: smaller condoms designed for 12-14 year old boys. The thinking was, most 12-14 year old boys do not use protection when they have sex. So let’s make condoms that fit them.

Ahem.

Is this okay? Are we just accepting now that 12-year-olds have sex? I’m having a hard time believing it, even though I consider myself to be pretty open about most things. Ask me do I regret my first time. Yup. Was I too young? Yup. Did I really know what love was when I was a teenager? Nope. Were my friends having sex? Yup.

I would like to think my kids can come and talk to me about anything and we’ll figure out what to do together. But as of right now, I really don’t know what I’d tell them.

Of course I want to encourage them to wait. Did I wait? Obviously not since my daughter is three and I’ve been married for two years. But I know now (hindsight is a mofo) that things would have been a lot different if we had waited until we exchanged “I do’s” or at least been in a more stable place financially and emotionally.

I don’t think being a young mom means your life is over. Not in any way. However, I know it can be hard.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was making $600 A YEAR. I worked like 10 hours a semester. No real job. No real income. But I let my kids motivate me. I work hard. And that makes opportunities happen.

But it doesn’t happen like that for everyone. I had a lot of help. A ton of support. I had a mom who took two weeks off work when I had my daughter (and again for my son) to come help me out and let me get some rest. I had a boyfriend who didn’t flinch when I thrush the urine-soaked pregnancy test in his face, hyperventilating. Everyone doesn’t have that. Without support, you could struggle that much longer and that much harder.

My struggles haven’t been as severe as some of my friends. But I’ve been there on the other end of the phone as they cried about how their child’s father is no good. Or about how they wish he would be more active in their child’s life. As they contemplate whether they’ll stay in a job they hate just because they don’t have any other options. It’s rough.

Do I want my daughter to become a mom at 17, 18, 19? Nope. But if she did, I’d be there to support her.

Am I a hypocrite, since I am supposed to be the ultimate “Go, young mommy, go!” cheerleader? Maybe. But I know that being a mom is one of the most soul-stretching, time-sucking, energy-draining things you can do. It requires tons of patience, love, resilience, faith, empathy, intelligence and savvy. You can’t half-ass it. It’s all or nothing.

I have to say I was moved to tears yesterday reading your comments about my big news.

It’s very difficult for me to write this blog as just…well, me. As one person. As ONE young mother.

It’s hard to express how much I rely on you all. Without you, this blog is just a screen with words. A pretty screen, but it doesn’t mean anything. I want to not only tell MY stories, but YOUR stories as well, because it isn’t really about me. I use my experiences to make points about the larger view of young motherhood. But without your comments or tweets or Facebook comments, it’s all rather pointless. If I write a post and no one comments, I don’t think, “Aww, man, no one thinks I’m great.” Instead I’m kicking myself, thinking, “Man, that didn’t resonate with anyone. Try harder.”

Same thing with the book. I could’ve written about my experiences as a young mom and tried to pitch it to major publishers that way. But I realized that your stories add value. Add substance. Add experiences that I’ve never had, and it makes a much richer view of the young mommy experience.

So again, I’d like to say THANK YOU to all the readers who make this blog what it is. 2010 is shaping up to be a great year and I want you to own a piece of that. It’s all thanks to you.

So I’ve been teasing folks on Twitter and Facebook and on this blog about this good news that I received. So are you ready for it? Here it goes:

I have been invited to go to Washington, D.C. for the National Crittenton Foundation’s annual meeting.

Some of you might be like, “Who? What? Huh? Why is this good news?” 

Well, approximately two weeks from today, I will be speaking to a group of directors from national organizations that work to empower young women. We will be meeting with executive directors. Congressional leaders.

I will be talking to them about my story: why I blog, what wonderful, strong women I’ve met while blogging, and what I hope to accomplish with this blog.

And the book. I will be talking about the book, getting insight from the girls who frequent these agencies on what they would like to see in the book.

In addition to my story, there will be a few other women speaking, including Amina Robinson, an actress from the movie Precious; Lalita Booth, a woman who went from kinship care to the streets to Harvard; and Lisette Orellena, chair of the alumnae group. All promise to be dynamic speakers - I hope I can rise to the occasion!  

This is a huge stepping stone for me. While there, we will be discussing some national policy changes, including a coordinated support network for pregnant and parenting young women (through age 24) and how to begin to build that network.

This is what I’ve always wanted to do. Help create change for young mothers everywhere. I think this blog is a great start and I will never give up on the community we’ve built here, but it’s time. It’s time to get bigger, to grow larger, to make a real impact in the way young mothers are portrayed, perceived and acknowledged.

I’m ready to take our issues to D.C. - are you with me?

I’m ready to announce the winners of Sade’s latest CD, Solider of Love. Are you ready? Here it goes…..

Jen (After the Alter)

Latoya

Alexia

Thanks, ladies! I’ll be contacting you soon for your addresses. Congrats!

(Be sure to check back here tomorrow for an exciting update about the book. I’m geeked!)

First, let me add this disclaimer: I love my kids. I really do. They are the reason I get out of bed every morning, they are the reason my heart beats, they are the reason I breathe.

Okay, got it? I love ‘em. Don’t question it.

That said, there are days when they are running around, screaming, pushing, making messes, that I go to my “happy place” and daydream about the glorious times ahead I’m going to have in 2026, when my youngest hits 18. I’ll be 40 and ready for the new phase in my life.

Yeah, I’ll miss the cuddles, the cute little outfits, the giggling for no reason, the wonder in their eyes when they learn something new, the ability to balance both of them on my hip. I’ll even miss the car seats and strollers and sippy cups, all the baby/kid crap I’ve shelled out thousands for over the past three years. (Although I will NOT miss the daycare bills – at all.)

I’ve given it some thought and here are my 10 things I’m planning to do once I have an empty nest:

1. Get me a tiny car. One that holds like one and a half people. Like one of those Smart cars. Better yet, I’ll just ride my bike everywhere. Kids need me to help them move – I’ll just rent a van.

2. Make nothing but my favorite meals. My husband hates tomatoes. My daughter doesn’t really like meat. My son hates green beans and broccoli. Whenever I’m cooking – which happens to be one of my favorite things to do – I’m always making substitutions and trying to remember who eats what, who’s allergic to what, and how someone likes it prepared. When the kiddos move out, it’s all Tara, all the time. (Yes, my husband will still be there, but he’s pretty laidback as long as food is hot and on the table when he’s hungry.)

3. Take two annual week long vacations. Even if I gotta spend them at home. Without having to worry about babysitters, I figure this should be easier to do.

4. SLEEP!!! I plan on becoming a Master of sleep when my kids hit their teens, but when they move out? Oooh, wee, I’m gonna get my Ph.D in unconscious living!

5. Get some beautiful, non-kid-friendly furnishings. In my house now? Multicolored carpet, stain-resistant couches, several different tablecloths we have to rotate almost daily once they get stained, a broom in every corner, slipcovers on the major furniture. I want my house to look pretty and put together, not like the dwelling of a couple who is trying to ward off complete and utter destruction by two knee-highs.

6. Find me a baby to snuggle whenever I get that “Aww, I miss the baby stage!” feeling. Hopefully my sisters will have popped out a kid or two around this time, so I can get that feeling out my system and have my uterus all to myself at the end of the day. My reproductive system is on LOCKDOWN.

7. Re-rekindle my relationship with my husband. We already started having weekly date nights and our intimacy is on point right now. We’re working it out, even with two little ones clamouring for most of our time and attention during the week. But once the kids get older, I look forward to our relationship deepening and maturing even more. We’ll be at 20+ years of marriage and both will be in our early 40s. What does that mean? I don’t know but I’m excited to find out.

8. Admire our handiwork. With any luck, our kids will be intelligent, kind, self-sufficient people by the time they leave our house. That will come after years of in-your-face parenting, correcting little mistakes and pointing out the lessons in the big mistakes. I’d like to think my husband and I can give each other a big high five and say “Great job! We rock!”

9.Shh. You hear that? It’s called “quiet.” And I’m gonna enjoy every second of it.

10. Cry. Yup, I’ll probably be a wreck when they leave. It will take me a little bit of time to figure out how to adjust, but I’ll be real. I know I’m gonna miss my babies. Even if they’re not babies anymore.

I know you’ve thought about it - what are planning to do when your babies grow up and move out?

A lovely reader wrote in with this dilemma. Let’s call her Patrice. Patrice writes:

 I can’t concentrate since my husband and I had another argument about my son (from a previous relationship). The issue is this…Is it wrong for me to give small daily rewards to my child to encourage good behavior?  I say it’s working - so what’s the problem? His beef is it’s “bribery” and kids are supposed to just be good, without expecting any reward.  

He fails to recognize my son does have some type of developmental issue, exactly what I don’t know. It could be ADHD, auditory/conceptual/comprehension delay. I’ve had him tested but he’s highly intelligent and charming so no one finds anything. He does not behave well especially in a classroom setting and usually disrupts the class daily. He’s 6 and has been suspended for behavior twice.

My husband was raised in a strict Southern family where just looking stupid would get you choked. Although these practices have been tried with my child it only fuels him to act out more in school. So if I finally find something that works after trying for 3 years, why question and demerit my efforts?  I need to add I am 6 months pregnant as well so emotions are all over the place. I’d love to hear someone else’s prospective on dealing with a special needs child or any child. What are your and your followers thoughts?

This has so many different components that I don’t know where to begin. On one hand, they are married and they need to be on the same page as far as how they see fit to raise their children, especially with a new kid on the way. On the other hand, you needn’t give up your values and ideals than you gained from your childhood if you feel strongly about their validity. I tried to assure Patrice that I am in no way an expert on parenting, but that I have some wise readers who will be happy to give their insight on this issue.

What do you think? Do you agree with her husband, and think that rewarding him is the same thing as bribery? Or is it okay for her to reward her son if it keeps him in line and nothing else has worked? Patrice will be checking in during the day to see the comments. Let’s make sure we help her out!

If you have a parenting dilemma you’d like to pose to the masses, be sure to contact me. I’d love to have your question featured.

It’s Thursday night as I type this, and I’m staring at this screen trying to figure out a nice, quality post to put up here for you to enjoy at some point during your Friday. I’m thinking you’ve had a long week, right, and you need something good, something WORTHY of your time.

Well, I just don’t have it in me right now. I’m tapped out, too.

So I figure I’ll let you know what you can look forward to NEXT week. (Go ahead and say it. “You’re a lazy bum.” Got it out of your system? Good.)

• I’ll be posting the winner of the Sade giveaway. Three lucky readers will win the Sade’s new CD, Soldier of Love.
• I’ll be announcing some big news concerning the book. You know, my third baby.
• I’ll be spotlighting a mom who inspires me. (Could it be you? Why, yes, it could.)
• I’ll be (fingers crossed) announcing another giveaway.

So I have a lot going on next week. Be sure to check back for more exciting updates. As always, you can follow me on Twitter and check out the group on Facebook for more things young mommy related. (And even if you’re not a “young mom” you are welcome to join!)

A buddy of mine is looking for a gift to give her sister, who is due any day now. She wants to get her something that is exclusively for her - baby will get his own separate gift. She asked me to think back to when I had my crew and what I had that really made the difference for me.

Truthfully, I told her, I just remember being really hungry and really tired. Like, I wanted to eat and then promptly pass out. All this diaper changing, feeding, burping, not sleeping, crying (me and baby), feeding, pooping, feeding, bath, not sleeping mess was wearing me out EARLY. I had mastitis probably in week two and three, and all I really wanted have a “back-up mom” on hand to help me take care of this kid.  

So I was no help. Gave a weak recommendation of some comfy pajamas and nice slippers (both of which made me feel pretty in the hospital…and all the nurses knew I had a girl because I was dressed head-to-toe in pink).

So can you help her out? I posted this question on our Facebook page, but feel free to leave your answers here too. What would make a great gift for a new mom? A gift certificate to her favorite restaurant? Some DVDs for the late night breastfeeding sessions? A gift card to her favorite clothing store?  An offer to babysit?

Leave your thoughts in the comments. Hopefully your suggestions will make one mom really happy

I love the community we’ve built over on Facebook. At over 300 400 members strong, we are a strong group of women, who are more just moms, even though we care deeply about our kids.

One of the best days of my day is when I get new comments or messages from members. This warms my heart.

So on Friday, Hailey Christine Roloff posted an item about her new site, Fighting Statistics. She designed it as a place where young parents can get together without judgment and get inspiration to help with their daily lives. In her words:

“This is our place to share our stories, give each other advice, as well as inspiration and hope.”

She inspires me because I love a woman who is a go-getter, who sees a need and goes out to fulfill it. She is a young mom herself, with a darling 3-year-old daughter.

I love what she has to say about young motherhood - it’s hard, but it’s worth it and we can be successful if we work at it.

“I wanted to start this site to get teen mothers to come together as one. We can all support each other in our efforts to succeed in our lives and our children’s future. The statistics out there are proof enough that it is hard, but we can’t give up. Let’s make our kids proud and overcome the nasty stereotypes that people put on us!”

So for all you teen moms who are looking for a place on the internet to call home, head on over to her and make yourself comfortable. Tell her the Young Mommy sent you!

They just don’t seem HUMAN. If I had 19 kids (or 20…how many do they have now? I’ve lost track), I don’t know how I’d act, but I don’t think I’d be a thing like Jim Bob or Michelle. You see how much they SMILE even though they have the stress of three families?

Since I don’t think either one of them are on any type of happy pills (I could be wrong), they must have figured out some way to approach life challenges and conquer them without losing their sanity or sense of self.

So I did a little digging on the Duggars and landed on their website. I scrolled through it. “Hmmm…updates on the show…oh, they have a book out…look, there’s some recipes….” Then I found this, their list of household guidelines.

To have 19 kids and keep your house running smoothly, you’ve got to have rules, though these “guidelines” seem less like rules, but more like how a family is SUPPOSED to act:

“Never argue, complain, or blame. Quickly admit when you have done wrong and ask for forgiveness (even if you were only 10% at fault). Don’t wait till you’re caught.”

“Be attentive and look for ways to serve others with sincere motives and no thought of self-gain.”

How can you find fault with that? So I’ve decided to take the Duggars lead and come up with a list of household guidelines for my crew. Here’s a few:

“Wake up each day with the mindset that you are going to be happy and helpful. Maintain that mindset through the whole day.”

“Take a few minutes each day to ask yourself, ‘Are you being the best person you can be?’”

“Be grateful for even the smallest gestures.”

What say you? What are some household guidelines you’d like to create for your family?

If you have spent any amount of time on Twitter in the past month, you have probably seen chatter about Disney’s Social Media Moms Conference. (Click the link to check out a variety of write-ups on the event.)

Yup, I was there. Or was I?

See, three days before we left for Orlando, we had to take my daughter in to the doctor. Long story short, she needed antibiotics. For 10 days. And we know that antibiotics can cause diarrhea. (Well, actually, I didn’t know but boy, oh, boy, now I do.)

The day before we left for Orlando (Tuesday), I got hit with the beginnings of the flu. Greeeaaaat. Traveling by myself with a little one, who’s sick as well - “This is gonna be fun,” I told myself sarcastically.

So Wednesday was a bit of highs and lows for me. I was glad we made it to Florida in one piece, but tragically in need of a good solid 5-6 hours in the bed with the help of some NyQuil. We went to the Polynesian, which has to be one of the best “hotels” I’ve been to. It’s the Disney Difference, definitely.

We checked in and I collapsed on the bed. “Am I going to make it to Saturday?” I wondered as I felt my temperature spike.

I wanted to fully enjoy this trip, network, meet new bloggers. But on Thursday, my daughter was sick. Stuck on the potty every 10 minutes it seemed. Calling out for me. What kind of mom would I be (this was a conference for moms after all) if I left her?

So I missed Guy Kawasaki’s chat on the power of Twitter, and my daughter collapsed in the stroller at Epcot, causing us to miss the performance by the Jonas Brothers and dinner by Dinner: Impossible chef Robert Irvine. *sigh* Our Disney trip was cut in half, not to mention the weather was so sucky that I’m sure it didn’t help matters.

I had no hesitation about missing a few sessions so I could give my daughter some extra attention. I am a mother first and foremost. But yeah, I did feel a little left out on Friday when all the other moms walked out of the resort together, linking arms and exchanging ideas on how they were going to create a new project together, and I felt like I hadn’t met anyone yet.

I did meet some cool people at breakfast and during the amazing lunch (I love food - can you tell?). I sent my tweets, and visited the park, got to see Chris Brogan and Kathy Ireland in action, but mentally, I just wasn’t there. My mind was on my daughter. Was she feeling better back in the room? I know my sister was there with her, but it’s just not the same when you want Mommy.

As much as I was enjoying the hilarious tales from Maryellen Hooper (go visit her site - she’s guaranteed to make you laugh), I couldn’t wait to rush back to the resort to scoop my little one up. Luckily, by the time I got back, she was fine. Happy, in fact. I felt good.

I wanted our Disney trip to be perfect. I wanted her to meet Mickey and Minnie and get some mouse ears and “oooh” and “ahhh” over the room and enjoy some warm weather. But life’s not perfect, you know? It’s okay to realize that.

Even if you have to go all the way to Disney to do it.

*Disclosure: I paid a conference fee that covered my hotel, park tickets, and certain meals. I paid my own expensive as hell transportation to and from Disney.

Last week, I took my daughter on a plane for the first time. By myself.

I was NERVOUS.

My daughter (who’s 3) is, um, particular. Like, she’s not this curious little girl who’s in awe of the world and wants to go explore it. Nope, not really. Leave her in her bedroom with a stack of Curious George books and a juice box and she’ll be straight for a couple of hours.

So the idea of dragging her through the airport, through security, onto the plane, having her SIT on the plane for two hours, then on the shuttle to get the hotel, literally made my face break out.

I started planning for this trip back in December. I figured my daughter is always grabbing my iPod Touch - why not find some apps for her to keep her occupied? (Side note: My daughter tried to play me, asking me why I don’t have an iPhone. What does she know about an iPhone, other than she wants one for Christmas? *shaking my head* Kids today, I tell ya.)

I downloaded Doodle Buddy first. You are basically  just drawing with your finger and you can change colors, add icons, blur, etc. She loves that one, but it’s pretty basic.

So when Lynette from PicPocket Books reached out to me about reviewing their app, it was like a sign from the heavens. PicPocketBooks offers children’s books for mobile devices (including the iPod Touch, which I think is really sweet), and I couldn’t wait to get my hands on it to review. This was about to save my plane trip to Florida.

I received three codes and went to download my books. I didn’t show them to my daughter until we were on the plane, in the air. Once she saw it, she was intrigued. I told you, all she wants to do is read. She cares little about the format. I stuck the little earbuds in her ear, put the volume on low, and watched as she flicked her finger across the screen like a pro, “flipping” the pages of the book. Hard to believe she’s only 3.

She’s learning to read now, so I liked how the words were highlighted as it read to her. And did I mention it saved my plane trip?!?! She particularly enjoyed the book, “I Can Do It Too!” probably because she’s at the age where…well, she can do it too. LOL.

Needless to say, all the books were a hit. Now I have them on my iPod and I can whip them out whenver we have a few minutes to kill. While I received the codes for free, the books are totally affordable, with the most expensive titles priced at $3.99.  

So I have to say a HUGE thanks to PicPocket Books for allowing me to arrive in Florida with my sanity still intact.

I owe you one.

1. I use baby wipes for everything. And I mean everything.

2. I sniff butts. For “poo checks.”

3. I have random diapers (unused!) in the bottom of my purse.

4. I’ve caught spit up in my hand more times than I can count. And chewed food.

5. I watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse when my kids aren’t home. And Handy Manny. And I get too involved in the episodes, talking back to the TV and everything. “Now, Mickey, why wouldn’t you just walk to Mickey park? Did you have to call ‘Toodles’?”

6. I’m intrigued when my kids’ poop changes color. (Fruit snacks = bright green poop)

7. I talk about myself in third person. “Mommy’s hungry. What should Mommy eat for dinner?” It’s even more embarassing when I’m by myself.

8. I say everything I’m doing out loud. “Once we finish dinner, we’re going to clean up.” Then: “Okay, we’re cleaning up. Thank you for helping me clean up.” Then: “Now we’re going upstairs.” “Now we’re getting our PJ’s on.” “Now we’re reading our bedtime stories.” Ugh. Make me stop!

9. I hear “phantom” baby cries. I’ll be nice and cozy in bed, and then at 2 a.m. I’ll SWEAR I hear a kid crying. I’ll GET OUT OF BED to go check and turns out the kids are sleeping nice and soundly. WTF is wrong with me?

10. My kids are so cute that sometimes I wish I could squish ‘em and put ‘em back in my belly and start over and love ‘em from the beginning. (Does that sound weird to anyone else? LOL)

11. I cook meals based almost solely on how messy it will be to clean off the floor.

12. When I’m out in public and I hear a kid screaming, all I can think is, “Glad it’s not mine.”

13. I hate when people think they’ll be a great mom because they have been a babysitter for a while. NOT.THE.SAME.THING.

Am I alone in some of these? What are some of your mommy-isms?

I never felt like I really crossed that line from girl to womanhood on my own terms. Once I had kids, I was forced to grow up. Quick.

Things didn’t really revolve around me and what I wanted, but more about how I could be better to give my kids everything they needed. I had to learn to be more patient, to trust that I knew was I doing, and to let go of baggage I had been carrying around for no reason at all.

I learned what “strength” really means. I learned how to give more of myself. I learned that things don’t always happen on my timetable.

At 24, I finally feel like a woman. Before that I was just playing house, trying to figure out what marriage and motherhood really meant to me. I was acting. I saw other women take care of their kids and get dinner on the table every night and still look sexy and I thought, “Why does it look so easy for them? What am I doing wrong?” But I wasn’t doing anything wrong. It took time.

It took time to get to the place where I am now, where I don’t freak out about dinner and I manage to get the clothes clean and I even have the energy to be a fully present mom in the evenings and on weekends.

I feel good about where I am, what kind of wife and mother I’ve become. I like the woman I see in the mirror.

I was at home the other day and something seemed odd. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it at first, then I realized what it was.

The TV was off. It was quiet.

If we’re home, the TV is probably on. It doesn’t mean that we’re sitting down watching it. More than likely, it’s just background noise.

Or is it? I already know that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends NO TVfor no children under the age of 2. But let’s be real. That’s pretty unrealistic. Who here has NEVER turned on an episode of Dora or Wonder Pets or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse just to get the kids out of your hair for 30 minutes? You figure, it’s somewhat educational, right? Can’t hurt.

But I realize that my kids watch more TV than is probably good for them. I want them to be more active, but hey, their mama is a nerd and would much rather curl up with a book or sit at a computer than sweat and move my body. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. More often than not, I have to snatch books out their hand before I put them to bed. They’d rather read than do anything else.  

So when Michelle Obama (my shero) launched the “Let’s Move” campaign to fight childhood obesity, I was intriguted. With objectives like promoting more physical activity in kids, and healthier food choices in school and at home, what’s not to love?

Check out our First Lady’s passionate call to action:

Simple, right? The goal of this campaign is to solve the childhood obesity epidemic within a generation. It’s ambitious but it’s worth it. Our kids’ lives are at risk. Childhood obesity leads to a host of health problems, ones that are mostly preventable.

A large part of this plan depends on us, the parents. If we don’t take the lead, it won’t work. We can’t sit and eat Oreos and be sedentary and expect our kids to pick up the apples and do jumping jacks. WE are the example. WE can turn this around.

Join me, and other mom bloggers, in pledging to do better. To be better. To set a better example for our kids. Each week for the next month, I will write a post on how I’m trying to make my family healthier, whether it’s through exercising with my kids, turning off the TV more, or trying new foods together.

If you’d like to join me, leave a comment saying how you’re working on making your family healthier. Let’s Move!

Every single day I get web hits from someone searching for “cute maternity clothes for young moms.” EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. Now, I’ve done a couple posts on it in the past, but nothing to make me the expert in maternity clothes options for the 20something (or younger) mama.

So I figured it’s time to revisit that topic (sexy maternity clothes) with an updated look around the ‘net to see what I can find. Journey with me, will you?

Bella Band

I’ve been hearing about the Bella Band for years now and even though I never had the chance to use it, I’d be willing to bet it works wonders. Has anyone used it? Let me know if I’m wrong. But basically, the Bella Band allows you to wear your pre-pregnancy clothes when they refuse to button any longer. Heck of a lot smarter than the ol’ rubber band-around-the-button-on-your-jeans-to-keep-’em-closed, right? (Yeah, I did that for a couple of weeks.) PLUS you can wear your maternity pants even if you don’t fit them yet. It runs around $30, and is even available in organic cotton for all you eco-friendly mamas.

Target

How much do I love this store? I love it, love it, love it! I’ve noticed their maternity section was on point in 2009. Figures that I’m not pregnant now and couldn’t enjoy it. (Would y’all judge me if I wore maternity clothes while, um, not expecting? Please say no.) I’m a big fan of tight maternity shirts. Not so tight that you look uncomfortable but tight enough to hug your big ol’ belly. It’s cold now in most of the country - try this cowl neck sweater on for size.

Gap/Old Navy

In my totally unscientific polling of my friends and Young Mommy Life readers (and really, they’re one in the same), almost everyone mentioned buying clothes from Old Navy. I threw Gap in there, because they’re almost the same store. Affordable, basic maternity clothes. And they almost always have a sale. The only downside is that the selection in stores is nonexistent, unless you live in a big city. Otherwise, you’re stuck shopping online, which is difficult to do when your gut is growing too rapidly for you to guess at your new size. So what will you find? Cute dresses like this ($15, people!!!):

CLEARANCE

No, there’s no store called Clearance, but you better get real familiar. Love the clothes at the big name maternity stores but hate the prices? Hold that chin up and walk right to the back to the clearance items. Not “sale” items, which only may be marked down 20% or so, but the “clearance” racks, where you can score savings of 50-60%. No need to feel bad for trying to save a buck - you’ve got a baby to think about. I went to Motherhood Maternity and got a pair of jeans for $20, when they can normally go for $60 and up.

So what do you think? What advice would you give those searching for good, affordable maternity clothes? Give your tips in the comments.

Valentine’s Day is one of my favorite days every year. I hate hate hate when single people knock it or treat it like a commercial holiday that greeting card manufacturers created to boost their own profits.

I have always seen it as a day dedicated to those you love. End of story. No one is saying you have to go out to dinner that day, or buy a bunch of cards or do anything really elaborate. Just show some love. I can’t see a problem with that at all.

So if you ARE single this Valentine’s Day (and heck, even if you’re not!), treat yourself to a wonderful Valentine’s Day gift. You deserve some extra love. Here a few gifts I’m eyeing for myself - you let me know what you are going to get in the comments!

I love these pajama bottoms. Pair it with a cute pink cami and nice fuzzy slippers and you’ve got the perfect sleepwear for a perfect night in. Old Navy, $16.50

Oooh, yes!! These shoes are killer. That is all. Newport News, $49.  

Now, I know I’m dreaming with this one, because there is no way (right now…this year…in the next three years) that I would EVER feel comfortable spending $118 on a wallet. Especially one that is so small. But dang it, this is my post and I’m allowed to dream a little bit, right? Coach, $118.

So I keep searching on the Coach site and I find this one:

Not quite the same look, but it’s $38! Much, much more affordable. Coach, $38.

Etsy always has cute items for sale. I love it because I can buy handmade, but I can buy it online (because you know I love online shopping!) These earrings caught my eye:

So tell me, what’s your gift to yourself for being so fabulous? How will you celebrate you?

All this talk about “Be Sexy.” You’re a Sex Goddess. Don’t be so hard on yourself, etc.

I’m about to expose myself as a phony.

Last week I had a meltdown because my husband teased me about a hole in one of my gloves. I MELTED. I was full-on CRYING, you guys. Breathing hard. Face all hot. Kids looking concerned.

It made me realize  how fragile even the strongest sense of self-confidence can be, especially in front of those we care about the most. I love my husband and I know he loves me. I always, always want to be my best in front of him.

I don’t like it when he catches a glimpse of an ashy leg, or a old pair of undies, or even a small thing like a hole in my gloves. I don’t like it when my toenail polish is chipped or I wake up to my hair sticking straight up in uncontrollable curls.

I want to be a sexy, confident, put together Mama who has everything under control. I want to be able to balance all that I do (full-time job, full-time mom to two kids under 3, caring wife, thoughtful daughter and sister, great friend, bad-ass blogger, nonprofit communications consultant, ETC.) with a smile.

I don’t want to be run-down and tired EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. So tired that I don’t wanna even THINK about exercising or so tired that I don’t realize when it’s been months since I last shaved my legs.

I want to be sexy. I want to be alluring. I want to look like that young sexy chick I did when my husband and I were first dating. I mean, heck, look at me back in 2005:

Ugh! Too cute, right? Look at those stilettos! Look at my cleavage! Look at that NATURAL face - no makeup!!!! Look at those nice toned arms!! Michelle Obama WHO?

Now, I definitely can’t fit that dress anymore, but the shoes are still in my closet (and they probably still hurt like heck, but whatevs.) I want to bust them out, go on a proper date and feel like I still have it.

It just kills me how it’s so much more of a challenge to be the confident woman I used to know so well.

So let me apologize to all the moms who maybe felt that I was making it seem like getting your groove back would be easy. It’s not easy and in many cases it’s a daily struggle.  

I still struggle with it. Daily. Hourly, even. But I do know that it’s possible.

I know a lot of my readers might have missed Sade during her last run on the music charts. After all, it’s been 10 years since her last album, when most of us were still in high school!

But I will testify that, as an old soul, she makes some EXCELLENT music. Some might say baby-making music, but don’t get scared. LOL.

Have you seen the video for her latest single? (I keep saying “her” when it should be “they” since “Sade” is a group, but we all know her as the frontwoman.) Tell me you don’t want to ask her what STOPS HER FROM AGING. My goodness!

Sade has a new CD, Solider of Love, hitting stores tomorrow and I am giving away three copies for my readers. ( I’d say you have a great shot at winning.)

 If you’ve followed me for any amount of time, you know I like to keep my giveaways simple, right? Right. Well, here’s all you have to do to win.

Mandatory entry:

Leave a comment saying you’d like to win. For fun, you can name your Sade song. If you don’t have one, that’s okay by me. (For the record, my favorite Sade song is By Your Side. Could listen to it all day every day.)

Extra entries:

1) Follow The Young Mommy Life on Twitter.

2) Become a fan on Facebook.

Contest ends February 15 at 5 p.m. Winners will be chosen at random, meaning the more times you enter the better chance you’ll have at winning!

You think “Victoria’s Secret” and you think “lingerie,” right? (Well, if you’re like me, you probably think, “Why can’t they get more realistic-looking mannequinns?” Am I right, ladies?)

But dang it if I didn’t realize what a cute shoe collection they have! I was watching Wendy Williams (I know - why on Earth did I do that?) and she mentioned that her beyond fab-u-lous five inch pumps were by Colin Stuart. “Very affordable,” she added.

“Colin Stuart, hmmm?” I think to myself. “I’ve heard that name before. Let me see…”

So I Google. And I realize Colin Stuart is with Victoria’s Secret. Sweet! Look at some of my favorites:

Oooh!!! Four inchers are my favorites. And red? Peep toe? Platform? WHERE’S MY DEBIT CARD? These babies run for $69. Totally inappropriate for my day-to-day life, but I’d be happy if I could just stare at these lovelies in my closet every day.

I just started wearing wedges last summer and these babies are FIVE inchers. Oooh, wee! Can you just imagine the curve of your leg in this shoe? Super sexy. Only $65. Can’t beat it. Think I’d be able to wear these, chasing after my toddlers this summer?

Okay, so every pair of shoes I buy can’t be four inches or more. I need some flats. I love metallic sandals because they are great at adding a bit of “Pow!” to an outfit.  Heck, I bought a cute pair of gold Kenneth Cole thong sandals when I was pregnant with my son simply because I thought the gemstones on them would detract from my swollen ankles! These metallic flats would be perfect for me. For you, too, right?

Let me know where you’ve seen some cute shoes lately. We could all use a new pair, right?

If I can do anything with this blog, it’s my hope that I can help others. I don’t do this so I can land a spot on a Top 50 Bloggers list, or earn tons of money in ad revenue, but so I can reach moms wherever they are and have them feel like they have a place to belong. Period.

So when Jeannette Pai-Espinosa, president of the National Crittenton Foundation, asked me to mention two initiatives they are working to promote, I said, “Sign me up!”

Both of them are through Change.org, and if the ideas get enough votes, then they will be presented to appropriate members of the Obama Administration to become reality. Let’s make it happen!

The first is a program proposing that young single mothers who graduate from high school with a certain GPA be eligible for college grants and scholarships. Who can’t get behind that? If we help young moms continue their education, we can help break the cycle of poverty that so many get entrenched in. Click here to vote for this initiative. It needs 72 more votes to make it to the final round!

The second initiative is beyond brilliant. They are proposing that we create family networks for young single mothers, who too often end up parenting alone and don’t have the support they need to become happy, fulfilled moms. This network would allow them to reach out to young moms in their area so they would have a local support system to lean on when times get rough. (And we’ve ALL been there.) Click here to vote for this initiative. It needs 13 more votes to make it to the final round!

So what say you? Can you take a moment or two to vote for these initiatives? I did my part - will you?