I was talking to a good friend yesterday (on the phone! Whoaa!) after not hearing her voice for close to a year. I’ve been watching and participating in her life via snippets on Facebook and Instagram and was so impressed by how hard she’s been working to achieve her goals.
But she quickly reminded me that Instagram only gives you half the story, if that. I immediately understood.
Browsing my Instagram account, you’d think I was a self-assured 28-year-old with two lovely kids, a loving husband, an obsession with food and this little event called the Young Mom Summit. But what you wouldn’t see is me obsessively checking my bank account balance, falling asleep with my face on my keyboard, quickly deleting rejection emails, or telling my kids, no, I can’t afford to buy them some new toy.
It was a good reminder that all that glitters isn’t gold. Sometimes we’re so convinced that what we’re seeing is real life, that everyone manages to find the right angle for that selfie on the first try, when realistically, there are probably at least 10 other shots that didn’t make the cut. It’s another reminder that we shouldn’t covet what we see other’s flaunting, but rather, focus on what makes us authentically happy and pursue that.
In 2013 I wrote:
I work online all day so I get caught up from time to time in the appearance of things rather than the substance. You can’t look at someone’s Instagram account and know anything about their life. It’s what they choose to share and who is putting their troubles, their fears and insecurities on blast? Not too many people.
We pick the best moments to share. How many Facebook photos have you seen of someone crying ’cause they got laid off? Or a photo of swollen feet from working two shifts straight? We tend to highlight the positive.
I’ve been focusing inward and it feels good. I congratulate my friends on their success and I’m not hating on them because I know there’s more than enough to go around. It’s all about abundance, remember? I don’t feel threatened by someone else’s success because it has no baring on my own.
We could all use the reminder that social media isn’t real and shouldn’t replace a phone call or seeing your friends in person to catch up and see how they’re doing. If all we do is glean little bits of their lives from Facebook or Twitter, we’re missing the whole picture. Sometimes we can’t sense depression or despair from a status update.