I was talking to a good friend yesterday (on the phone! Whoaa!) after not hearing her voice for close to a year. I’ve been watching and participating in her life via snippets on Facebook and Instagram and was so impressed by how hard she’s been working to achieve her goals.
But she quickly reminded me that Instagram only gives you half the story, if that. I immediately understood.
Browsing my Instagram account, you’d think I was a self-assured 28-year-old with two lovely kids, a loving husband, an obsession with food and this little event called the Young Mom Summit. But what you wouldn’t see is me obsessively checking my bank account balance, falling asleep with my face on my keyboard, quickly deleting rejection emails, or telling my kids, no, I can’t afford to buy them some new toy.
It was a good reminder that all that glitters isn’t gold. Sometimes we’re so convinced that what we’re seeing is real life, that everyone manages to find the right angle for that selfie on the first try, when realistically, there are probably at least 10 other shots that didn’t make the cut. It’s another reminder that we shouldn’t covet what we see other’s flaunting, but rather, focus on what makes us authentically happy and pursue that.
In 2013 I wrote:
I work online all day so I get caught up from time to time in the appearance of things rather than the substance. You can’t look at someone’s Instagram account and know anything about their life. It’s what they choose to share and who is putting their troubles, their fears and insecurities on blast? Not too many people.
We pick the best moments to share. How many Facebook photos have you seen of someone crying ’cause they got laid off? Or a photo of swollen feet from working two shifts straight? We tend to highlight the positive.
I’ve been focusing inward and it feels good. I congratulate my friends on their success and I’m not hating on them because I know there’s more than enough to go around. It’s all about abundance, remember? I don’t feel threatened by someone else’s success because it has no baring on my own.
We could all use the reminder that social media isn’t real and shouldn’t replace a phone call or seeing your friends in person to catch up and see how they’re doing. If all we do is glean little bits of their lives from Facebook or Twitter, we’re missing the whole picture. Sometimes we can’t sense depression or despair from a status update.
Such a great reminder. What we see on social media is not the whole story, and we have to keep telling ourselves that every day!
We sometimes when we’re too close to it (facebook, twitter, instagram) we forget that the people who we follow are doing the same thing that we are. They have fears, that have problems (like we do) and in no way shape or form do we place them higher.
I love checking out my social feed, but I really can’t do it for long, I find that I get sucked in.
Hi Tara,
This is so true! I always get jealous when I look at my friends’ Facebook pictures because they’re always on vacation some place warm and tropical and I’m always stuck at home. Well, like you said, they’re not always on vaca and I’m not always stuck at home, but it sure feels that way:):) LOL
I can totally relate to this! Thanks so much for the reminder. I look at my Instagram and Facebook newsfeed and get green with envy sometimes because of all the fun stuff I see my friends doing or accomplishing. I have to keep reminding myself however that there are a lot of good things happening in my own life too and to just stay focused, especially as a young mother and student.