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What I Learned Doing The Self-Care Challenge (And What I Hope You Did Too)

February 24, 2012 · by ·

Motherhood is a real job. Of course, in this country, we don’t treat it like that. But it is nothing short of a “real job.”

It took me a long time to realize this.

I wanted to be a great mom. An impeccable mom. That meant being available for my children’s needs, putting them first, bending over backward to make sure they had what they needed.

Seems like a job to me.

So why did I feel guilty taking a break from it? If I was at an office job, no one would expect me to sit at my desk for 15 hours straight every day and never ever taking a vacation day – or even a weekend off.

If motherhood was a job I’d have to clock in and out of, I would have amassed so much overtime and be on the verge of burnout so regularly that my bosses would have sat me down and demanded that I use some of my paid leave.

But since my “bosses” are 5 and 3, it doesn’t quite work like that. I need to be the boss, watching how long I’ve been on the clock and giving  myself a break when needed.

*picks up imaginary glass* So here’s to us, ladies. The mothers who are up at 3 a.m. checking on a crying child, the mothers who race to daycare everyday to make sure their kids aren’t the last ones at pickup. The mothers who can’t leave Target without buying their kid a lil’ something from the $1 bins. The moms who work two jobs to put food on the table. We’ve earned the right to put ourselves first.

*raises glass* To us.

 

 

Filed Under: HappyMom challenge · Tagged: ,

{Self-Care Challenge} Day #11 – Get Thee A New Bra

February 16, 2012 · by ·

Note: I included this in my 2010 stress challenge, but it’s worth including here. 

Ladies, let’s talk. Your boobs have been through a lot. Pregnancy, engorgement, breastfeeding, biting (was it just my kids…?), sore nipples, etc. Let’s treat ‘em right. Here are some tips and stores to check out. They’ll help you get fitted and buy some new bras that won’t cost an arm and a leg (and thigh):

My tips:

  • Try full coverage bras. They will make your boobs look better. Trust me. Now, for special occasions, by all means, pull out the Boobs Right Under the Chin bra and make the girls stand at attention. But for every day running around with the kids, a good sturdy, no-frills bra means the difference between feeling like a slub and feeling like a confident mommy on the go.
  • Buy a new black bra. Now, this is just my personal preference. I think black bras are sexy. White bras are not. Again, just my opinion. Maybe it’s because white bras remind me of nursing bras. WHICH YOU SHOULD NOT BE WEARING IF YOU ARE NOT BREASTFEEDING. Your child weaned off the boob, you wean off the nursing bras.
  • Take the time to try bras on. Sometimes a certain cut doesn’t work in your size and you’ll need to try your “sister size.”
  • WIDE-STRAP BRAS ARE NOW YOUR FRIEND. Also see: MOLDED CUPS. Molded cups are the ones that look like your boobs are in them even when they’re not. Bras that depend on your boobs for their shape don’t do anything to flatter you.

Victoria’s Secret

Okay, now this is a secret to no one. VS has some good bras. They’re pricey, but they are good. I usually go there if I feel the need to be fitted. The saleswomen can usually look at you and toss some bras your way that will be the size you need. I’d take a look at this bra – could work for everyone.

Target

I admit, this is where I buy most of my bras. I’m usually in the store buying other things, then I see a cute bra pattern and say, “Hmmm….think I need a new bra. I’ll get this one.” Currently, the best fitting bra I own comes from Target, so I’m not ashamed to tell you to go there to pick up a new bra. Try this one – I have it and love it.

Macy’s

Somewhere between Victoria’s Secret and Target, pop into Macy’s  next time you’re at the mall. I haven’t purchased any lingerie from Macy’s but I have some of their shapewear, which is awesome. Check out this bra – no underwire!

So there you have it. Some tips and tricks and stores to peruse. Go get yourself a new bra. Your boobs will thank you.

Filed Under: HappyMom challenge · Tagged: , ,

{Self-Care Challenge} Day #10 – Schedule A Day To “Treat Yo Self”

February 15, 2012 · by ·

If you do not watch Parks & Recreation, allow me to introduce you to a snippet from one of my favorite episodes. Pay attention, because it’s today’s challenge:

Day #10 – Plan a “Treat Yo Self” day. 

Now. There’s three rules.

1) You must save up for this. It is no fun and really counter-productive if you feel guilty about spending the money that you legitimately need for paying bills, buying groceries, etc. (Join me on the YML Facebook page as I attempt to make some quick cash to finance our family’s summer vacay this year.)

2) It must be something out of the ordinary. Taking yourself to get a small latte at Starbucks does not (I repeat, does not) count.

3) It must be something that you’ve been wanting to do but put off for various reasons.

Some ideas:

  • Take yourself out on a date. Movies, pedicure, dinner for one. If hanging out by yourself is not your thing, invite a friend along.
  • Save up and spend the night in a hotel and order room service. I’m a room service junkie, even though I know it’s crazy expensive. But something about picking up a phone, ordering food, and then they bring it to your room on a tray? Hea-ven. Right here on earth.

So in the comments, I want you to look at your calendar and pick a date within the next six months (I’m giving you time to get it together!) that you will “Treat Yo’ Self.” Ready?

My date is May 18. I think I will roll with option #2 up there. (Room service FTW!).

 

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{Self-Care Challenge} Day #9 – Write A Life Narrative

February 9, 2012 · by ·

I realize that a lot of these challenges are about writing something. And I truly believe this is a good thing. Writing forces us to let our minds be clear, something I know I have trouble with, especially as my two little ones clamor for my attention. Writing allows us to get in touch with our inner desires and wants. You can do it anywhere, it doesn’t cost much and it’s quick. What could be better than that?

Day #9 – Write a life narrative 

This is where you write out what you want your life to look like 10 or 20 years from now. You can be as creative as you want with this. There are only two rules:

  1. Don’t be afraid to dream big for yourself. If you want to be living in a mansion when you’re 40, say so. If you want to be able to drop $5k on shoes once a year, write it down.
  2. Write it in present tense as a way to “try it on for size.”

Here’s some questions to get you thinking:

Where do you want to be living?

Who do you want to be living with?

How often do you want to see your friends and family?

What are you doing to pay the bills?

What are you doing in your free time?

What kind of furnishings are in your home?

How often do you vacation?

Do you give the charity?

Do you own your own business?

How’s your love life?

What kind of spiritual path are you on?

These are just some basic questions to get you going, but I want you to be comfortable with this and have fun! No one’s judging you and no one’s rushing you. Have fun.

 

Filed Under: HappyMom challenge, Mom to Mom · Tagged: , ,

{Self-Care Challenge} Day #8 – Write A Worry List

February 8, 2012 · by ·

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, I know I’ve confused a bunch of you with today’s post. A little explanation, courtesy of Merriam-Webster:

Worry:

to subject to persistent or nagging attention or effort
to afflict with mental distress or agitation; make anxious
to feel or experience concern or anxiety
Eww, none of that sounds good, does it? “Afflict,” “nagging,” “anxiety.” Sounds like a breakdown waiting to happen. Worry is one of those things that just don’t help. Sincerely. There’s a saying that goes, “If you’re gonna pray, don’t worry. If you’re gonna worry, don’t pray.” It took me a long, long, long time to understand that worry is just a way of fretting about things, but not actually solving problems. Hence, the day #8 challenge:
Day #8 – Write a worry list. 
Go ahead and write down 10 things that you worry about frequently. Don’t ask questions—just do it. I’ll be a good sport and list mine for you.
I worry that…
  1. The house doesn’t stay clean.
  2. That my husband and I don’t spend enough time talking together.
  3. That we don’t have enough money.
  4. School is taking too much of my time.
  5. I’m losing touch with my friends.
  6. For the foreseeable future I’m always going to be tired.
  7. That my career is too demanding for me (see #6).
  8. My husband and I don’t have enough bow-chicka-wow-wow time.
  9. My grandparents are getting older and I don’t see them often enough.
  10. I’m never gonna travel!

Wow. That’s almost scary how quickly I came up with 10 items. SMH.

Now once you’ve written down the ten things you worry about, the next step is to delete three of these items. You’re deciding right here and right now that these are the things that you will no longer stress over or worry about. Come up with a concrete reason that you cease to worry about these items. Again, I’ll show you what I mean:

I worry that…
  1. The house doesn’t stay clean.
  2. That my husband and I don’t spend enough time talking together.  I will stop working at least 30 minutes before my husband goes to bed in order to have some time just to talk. 
  3. That we don’t have enough money.
  4. School is taking too much of my time. I will graduate in December. I am almost there! 
  5. I’m losing touch with my friends.
  6. For the foreseeable future I’m always going to be tired.
  7. That my career is too demanding for me (see #6).
  8. My husband and I don’t have enough bow-chicka-wow-wow time.  Not exactly sure what I’m going to do about this, I just know it’s not a problem on his end. :) 
  9. My grandparents are getting older and I don’t see them often enough.
  10. I’m never gonna travel!

See how easy that is? The goal is to get you feeling like a weight has been lifted. Too often, we stress about things that are in our control. Writing this list and deciding which items are no longer worth worrying about will give you confidence to take control of your life in the areas that count. So go ahead and write that list and tell me what you’re crossing off.

Filed Under: HappyMom challenge · Tagged: , ,
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