Search Results for: self-care

8 Reasons You Need To Invest In A Self-Care Weekend (I’ll Meet You At The 2015 Self-Care Retreat!)

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I’ve been talking about this retreat for the past three months and everything is finally official! Block off September 18-20 in your calendars and gas up for the car to meet me in Alexandria, Virginia for a weekend of relaxation, empowerment and sisterhood! (Get details on the retreat HERE.) For some of you, there might be some hesitation on your part:

“Can I really afford to go?”

“I’ve never been away from my kids for a whole weekend before.”

“I never take time for myself like this.”

Believe me—I hear you loud and clear. But when I thought about creating an event like this, I thought about what I hear most often from women who reach out to me:

“I feel like I’m either working or taking care of the kids. What’s ‘me-time’?”

“I haven’t had a vacation….ever.”

“I’m so tired of being tired. When am I going to get a break?”

Out of these concerns, the YML Self-Care Retreat was born. I wanted to give women a chance to put themselves first. To invest in themselves, to get some space to just be a woman without all the other titles.

View the 2015 Self-Care Retreat Agenda here.

Here’s eight reasons breaking down why your presence is necessary at the retreat—read it through and get your ticket!

1) You need a break from your family.

I know you love them. They make you light up and give your days purpose. But you need a break. For your sake and for theirs. Take one weekend away from the family to recharge your batteries. Being “on” 24/7 has the tendency to drain even the most devoted women. We’re so busy tending to them that we don’t have enough space to say, “Okay, here is how my life is going and here is where I’d like to see some changes and here is how I’m going to achieve it.” That’s what you’ll get at the retreat.

2) You need a chance to see new sights.

If you’re tired of seeing the same five places every week (kids’ school, home, grocery store, gas station, etc.), you need to be in the room when we kick off the retreat on September 18. There will be wine. Nuff said. Alexandria is a beautiful city, close to our nation’s capital, and the scenery gives me that simultaneous big city/small town luxury feel.

3) You need a chance to sleep by yourself.

Y’all see this room? It’s all for you. PLUS, the guest room block for this retreat have whirlpool tubs. Get in and soak away your stress.

Tower King Guestroom

4) You need to eat some delicious food that someone else cooked.

Don’t tell me you want to pass up a chance to have breakfast, lunch AND dinner prepared by someone else, just the way you like it.

5) You need to get inspired.

If you’re anything like me, it’s been way too long since you’ve taken the time to get in touch with yourself. I’ve got a quite a few inspiring speakers lined up and they know your life because they have been in your shoes, they have walked the path you’ve walked and they’re here to share how much joy they know you can have!

6) You need to look toward the future.

We will be offering FREE 30-minute life coaching sessions to each of the attendees so you can feel good about where your life is headed once you leave. Come, unwind, get clarity and return to your normal life feeling like a rockstar.

7) You need to meet women who get you.

You are not the only one who needs a break. So many of us are strong and tough, but even the best piece of technology needs to power down from time to time, lest you wear the battery out. Join the sisterhood that supports you and lets you know it is okay to do what you need to do to feel emotionally healthy and balanced.

8) You need to make a strong declaration that you will focus on your self-care. Choose yourself.

I talk about self-care so much that I’m almost annoying myself, but I don’t really think y’all hear me. Taking care of yourself—ensuring you get enough rest, you nourish your body, you feel at ease in your skin, etc.—is your number one priority. It’s no one’s responsibility but your own—not your spouse/partner, friends, kids, parents, etc. It’s on you. Coming to this retreat is a bold declaration that you are important, you matter and you will always strive to treat yourself well.

YML retreat registration button

2015 Self-Care Retreat

self-care retreat Twitter header

Coming September 18-20, 2015, I will be hosting a weekend retreat experience for stressed, overworked women who need a chance to re-calibrate their lives and take the time for their own self-care. Hosted at the Hilton Mark Center in Alexandria, Virginia, this will be a weekend to remember!

Registration will officially open in April, as we are still working with sponsors to make sure this weekend is as affordable as possible. But I wanted to tell you a little about what we have in store now to get you ready:

  • Fabulous Friday reception to mingle and sip bubbly with like-minded women ready to unwind
  • FREE 30-minute life coaching sessions all weekend to help you move forward with your goals in confidence
  • Delicious breakfast, lunch and dinner sessions with empowerment coaches and family life educators
  • Opportunities to shop in a thriving, waterfront setting, only a few miles from the nation’s capital (with free transportation to local shops)
  • Ridiculously low hotel rates for an amazingly posh suite
  • Cupcakes and champagne pajama party
  • A self-care gift bag with items to help you unwind, relax, refresh….
  • And more!

I’m still working with my team to finalize even more fun stuff, but even with what we’ve got so far…I’m excited and I hope you are too!

Sign up for the mailing list to get updates on registration, speakers and hotel.

Six Non-Negotiables For Self-Care #HappyYouHappyMe


1) Getting Enough Sleep

I put this at the top because it’s almost criminal how many of us don’t get our recommended amount of sleep. I was floored when I first had kids about how much they slept. My son in particular would sleep about 20 hours a day when he was a baby. He’d eat, smile that satisfied #breastmilkwasted, and then go right back to sleep. My pediatrician hammered home the point that kids need a lot of sleep because they’re growing so rapidly.

But I think we need to extend that logic to ourselves as well. As women, we handle so much. There is a lot on our shoulders at any given time. But when we’re busy and working all hours of the day and night, when does our body get a chance to relax? It’s no wonder we never feel rejuvenated. We’re still working!

Non-negotiable: Getting at least six hours of sleep a night. For many women, six hours is laughable. If you got more sleep, who would pack the lunches, send the late-night emails, etc.? But what we’re not understanding is that sleep is crucial to how we process information, react to situations and more. A well-rested woman is more likely to move through her day with (relative) ease. Let’s set a bedtime and stick to it.

2) Getting Plenty of Vitamins From the Food You Eat

I’m trying to do better with this. Eating healthy foods can be difficult depending on your budget and neighborhood. (It’s one of the reasons I love Aldi’s supermarket so much.) But striving for a better diet can not only have an impact on your physical health, but also your mental health. You ever notice how after you eat a (utterly delicious) cheeseburger and fries, you feel a little sluggish? A little tired? Now, I’m not suggesting that you quit eating meat (quite the opposite – meat is delicious LOL).

But I am suggesting that you pay more attention into how you fuel your body. And yes, food is fuel. Put crap in and you get crap out.

Non-negotiable: At least once a day, aim for a colorful plate. Lots of fruits and veggies are good for your skin, your heart, your everything-else. Take the time to nourish your body.

3) Having At Least 30 Minutes A Day To Unwind

How many times have you worked a full day and then just collapsed into bed? That was my daily routine for years. But it wasn’t working. It was me squeezing every last bit out of my day. But I don’t want to get to “0” every day. I don’t want to end the day on an empty tank.

Non-negotiable: It’s hard, yes, to carve out time for yourself, but it’s crucial. Spend time (EVERY DAY) on something for you. Read a book, catch up on your favorite show, do some yoga – whatever. But make sure you give to yourself (again, EVERY DAY) for a happier you.

4) Spending Time With Friends

Who doesn’t enjoy time with their friends? It’s the whole reason y’all click. Spending time with those you hold dear in your heart allows you to grow deeper in love with yourself. Yup, it’s true. After you kick it with your friends, you feel a bit more confident, a bit more in touch with the things that make you you.

Non-negotiable: Do something monthly with your friends, even if it’s just a Skype chat or they come over to your house for drinks.

5) Getting Weekly Exercise

It’s easy to be lazy. I know it. You know it. But getting in some type of exercise weekly — whether it’s walking or running around the block, taking a class at the YMCA or doing some exercise at home — is important to your physical and mental health. I went to the gym last week and I noticed that my 30 minute workout is 30 minutes of pure me-time. I’m not thinking about how much money is in my account, how my business is doing, or any other stress that’s in my life. I’m concentrating on my music (the Timbaland Pandora station is LIFE) and my breathing.

Non-negotiable: Bust a sweat at least once a week. Let it be doing what YOU want to do. Don’t feel pressure to join a gym if you don’t have the money or you hate exercise equipment. If all you do is throw on some Beyonce and twerk on the floor, that’s perfect.

6) Comfort In Expressing Fears, Desires, Goals

If you think about some of the  messages women receive in life — to be pretty, not too loud, don’t take up too much space — it’s no wonder so many of us are walking around stifling our voices. We need to get comfortable being direct and asking for what we want. End a relationship that’s not working for you. Be direct when asking for help. Be bold when mapping out a life for yourself.

Non-negotiable: Be true to yourself. In all things.

What makes your list of non-negotiable list for self-care?


The Definitive Self-Care Quiz: 30 Questions To Determine Whether You Know How To Take Care Of You

Over the next few weeks, we’re going to be talking about emotional wellness. The first thing we need to do is help you grade yourself. How do you know where you need to improve if you don’t know where you stand? I’ve devised this self-care quiz based on common factors of self-care, and offer it as a non-scientific exploration of how well you’re treating yourself. Dive in:

Definitive Self-Care Quiz

True or False:

1) If someone graded you on how well you take care of yourself, they’d give you a B- or above.

2) The last time you went out with your friends was less than three months ago.

3) You usually get more than 6 hours of sleep per night.

4) It is easy for you to eat 5 servings of vegetables every day without even thinking about it.

5) When you are stressed, you know it’s not healthy to bottle it inside.

6) Your kids know when you are “in a mood” and know to leave you alone.

7) You generally enjoy parenting most days.

8) Your fingernails are not jagged or peeling or otherwise unsightly.

9) You find you often have enough energy to make it to the end of the day without getting cranky.

10) The mattress you sleep on is less than 8 years old.

11) You’ve been to the doctor within the past year for a general checkup.

12) You’ve been to the dentist within the past year for a cleaning.

13) You’ve been to the gynecologist within the past three years.

14) Your wardrobe is full of clothes you actually like to wear and think you look cute in.

15) You’re happy about your love life.

16) You feel challenged by the situations in your life, but not defeated.

17) You regularly make time for friends and family.

18) You generally exercise 2-3 times per week.

19) When people compliment you (on your appearance, accomplishments, etc), you accept it graciously.

20) You go to bed around the same time every day and wake up around the same time every day.

21) You laugh at least once most days.

22) You get fresh air daily and enjoy getting out of the house.

23) You have hobbies that keep you feeling energized and happy.

24) When you feel upset about something, you generally feel okay with letting people know.

25) When you have a tough day, you have healthy ways to cope with your stress.

26) You have time in your day to just….breathe, whether it’s an hour or just 15 minutes.

27) You avoid negative people and situations as much as you can.

28) When you go too long without a break, you make sure to pencil in time to focus on yourself.

29) When it comes to needing space away from your children, you have someone you can call to babysit (either for free or you can afford their rates).

30) When you are stressed or anxious about something, you are able to think of one or two people you could turn to for support.

Tally ’em up! Here’s your scorecard:

Give yourself 1 point for every “True” answer.


Less than 10 points: Most likely, you are the woman that everyone leans on when they need help, or you are the one who keeps all the parts moving in your family. You’re busy and so focused on getting things done that you are not in tune with your own needs. Neglecting yourself, for any amount of time, is a quick road to burnout. Something has to change soon or you will crash. This is a wake up call. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Go directly to your bedroom and do not come out until you develop a plan to get to at least 15 points.

Between 10 to 20 points: You are most likely feeling “good” more days than not. You can handle your business, have a girls night out every now and then and generally feel happy with where you are in life. But there is always room for improvement. A happy woman can rule the world. A woman feeling so-so? Eh, not so much. Decide where you’d like to focus your energy over the next few weeks. Is it your wardrobe? Your career? Your relationships? Focus in on one area that could use a little more attention and develop your plan to help you get to the next level of happy.

20 points or more: Well, look at you, handling your business and taking care of yourself with some inspiring regularity. I’m impressed. There is not much to say here except keep up the good work. If you haven’t already, look at your schedule and pencil in some of those things you already do to feel good. Make sure your “me-time” is set in stone. And spread the love. Maybe you could invite a friend to the gym with you. If you know a woman who struggles to keep herself at the top of her priority list, be her inspiration. Nudge her along the path of self-love and see if you don’t witness her transformation.

Over the next few years (and rolling right in to 2015), we will be focusing on my favorite subject: YOU. More specifically, how to be happier. You deserve this, I know, and I want this year to be your best year yet. And I’m sure we can do it. Let’s walk this road together.




My Advice To Young Moms On Self-Care, Finding Confidence, And Being You


I had a ball this past week as I was the featured guest on the My Good Nanny radio show. We spent a good 45 minutes chatting about young motherhood in the media, about the difficulties of telling your parents you’re pregnant, dealing with relationship woes and so much more. I can’t wait for you to take a listen. Do like I do and just put it on in the background as you’re going about your day or cooking dinner. I’d love your feedback!