Six Non-Negotiables For Self-Care #HappyYouHappyMe


1) Getting Enough Sleep

I put this at the top because it’s almost criminal how many of us don’t get our recommended amount of sleep. I was floored when I first had kids about how much they slept. My son in particular would sleep about 20 hours a day when he was a baby. He’d eat, smile that satisfied #breastmilkwasted, and then go right back to sleep. My pediatrician hammered home the point that kids need a lot of sleep because they’re growing so rapidly.

But I think we need to extend that logic to ourselves as well. As women, we handle so much. There is a lot on our shoulders at any given time. But when we’re busy and working all hours of the day and night, when does our body get a chance to relax? It’s no wonder we never feel rejuvenated. We’re still working!

Non-negotiable: Getting at least six hours of sleep a night. For many women, six hours is laughable. If you got more sleep, who would pack the lunches, send the late-night emails, etc.? But what we’re not understanding is that sleep is crucial to how we process information, react to situations and more. A well-rested woman is more likely to move through her day with (relative) ease. Let’s set a bedtime and stick to it.

2) Getting Plenty of Vitamins From the Food You Eat

I’m trying to do better with this. Eating healthy foods can be difficult depending on your budget and neighborhood. (It’s one of the reasons I love Aldi’s supermarket so much.) But striving for a better diet can not only have an impact on your physical health, but also your mental health. You ever notice how after you eat a (utterly delicious) cheeseburger and fries, you feel a little sluggish? A little tired? Now, I’m not suggesting that you quit eating meat (quite the opposite – meat is delicious LOL).

But I am suggesting that you pay more attention into how you fuel your body. And yes, food is fuel. Put crap in and you get crap out.

Non-negotiable: At least once a day, aim for a colorful plate. Lots of fruits and veggies are good for your skin, your heart, your everything-else. Take the time to nourish your body.

3) Having At Least 30 Minutes A Day To Unwind

How many times have you worked a full day and then just collapsed into bed? That was my daily routine for years. But it wasn’t working. It was me squeezing every last bit out of my day. But I don’t want to get to “0” every day. I don’t want to end the day on an empty tank.

Non-negotiable: It’s hard, yes, to carve out time for yourself, but it’s crucial. Spend time (EVERY DAY) on something for you. Read a book, catch up on your favorite show, do some yoga – whatever. But make sure you give to yourself (again, EVERY DAY) for a happier you.

4) Spending Time With Friends

Who doesn’t enjoy time with their friends? It’s the whole reason y’all click. Spending time with those you hold dear in your heart allows you to grow deeper in love with yourself. Yup, it’s true. After you kick it with your friends, you feel a bit more confident, a bit more in touch with the things that make you you.

Non-negotiable: Do something monthly with your friends, even if it’s just a Skype chat or they come over to your house for drinks.

5) Getting Weekly Exercise

It’s easy to be lazy. I know it. You know it. But getting in some type of exercise weekly — whether it’s walking or running around the block, taking a class at the YMCA or doing some exercise at home — is important to your physical and mental health. I went to the gym last week and I noticed that my 30 minute workout is 30 minutes of pure me-time. I’m not thinking about how much money is in my account, how my business is doing, or any other stress that’s in my life. I’m concentrating on my music (the Timbaland Pandora station is LIFE) and my breathing.

Non-negotiable: Bust a sweat at least once a week. Let it be doing what YOU want to do. Don’t feel pressure to join a gym if you don’t have the money or you hate exercise equipment. If all you do is throw on some Beyonce and twerk on the floor, that’s perfect.

6) Comfort In Expressing Fears, Desires, Goals

If you think about some of the  messages women receive in life — to be pretty, not too loud, don’t take up too much space — it’s no wonder so many of us are walking around stifling our voices. We need to get comfortable being direct and asking for what we want. End a relationship that’s not working for you. Be direct when asking for help. Be bold when mapping out a life for yourself.

Non-negotiable: Be true to yourself. In all things.

What makes your list of non-negotiable list for self-care?



  1. I definitely agree with you especially for tip 6. We need to give ourselves permission to be vulnerable. I believe vulnerability is not a sign of weakness put strength.

  2. I’m working on ensuring I get at least a good six hours of sleep every night! I think I do okay with everything else listed…but I’m struggling in the break a sweat department!

  3. OMG! I absolutely love every single tip. I will be sure to share this post and tips at my next BeFree Life Class since it’s about the importance of self care. My girlfriends and I just set in our calendars to meet up once per month. Initially I was like “I don’t have time to meet every single month?” But I actually need it, it’s nothing like hanging out with your girlfriends and catching up. Now I’m off to make me a green smoothie for lunch :)

  4. Mannnnn, I don’t do enough of any of these! Thank you so much for this post. I will have to pin it, too.

  5. My non-negotiables include: sleep, journal, and spending time with my friends.

  6. Love your list. At the top of my list is weekly me time. It’s a struggle but so necessary. I definitely need to sleep more too.

  7. Great list, I’m focused on #6 this year. Some of my fears/desires/goals are a bit unorthodox, but I’m putting them out there and embracing them with my whole heart!

  8. I agree with all this points, but point 6 is hard because society and everybody is hypocritical about it. They tell you to face you fears and they judge you right when you do.
    we need more solidarity and support.

  9. I took your advice about getting enough sleep.I have developed a a nighttime routine.When I come home from work, i wash my face ,apply my night moisturizer, moisturize my arms and legs with my nighttime bidy butter from my new favorite brand Earth Therapeutics, put on my lavender and chammomile candle,and spray my bedroom mist from Frebreze. After all that, I watch Walking Dead on Netflix andrift right to sleep. I feel refreshed in the morning and I notice an improvement in my mood and even the way I look. I defintiely want all my fellow moms to not just go to sleep but to get into a relaxed mood before going to sleep. I promise it will change everything!!!