Hard to believe I had my meltdown a week ago. I read that post now and while I definitely still feel like I need to make some changes, I know that this time it’s going to stick.
I’m going to start prioritizing my health and happiness and not worry about feeling guilty.
I’m going to start making sure I get my alone time in, because I’ve discovered I’m a happier person when I have that space to just..breathe.
I have plans to go out three nights this week. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. While it won’t become habit (after all, I am my own boss and after the kids go to sleep are prime working hours), it felt good to know that I could do it.
My husband has been very understanding while I try to get on the road to a happier me. He watches the children, feeds them, gets them ready for bed and I come home to a quiet and clean house.
I’ve been asking myself why I didn’t ask for his help a long time ago, instead of trying to do everything myself and ending up here, even in the middle of my self-care challenge?
I realized it was because I thought my requests were too heavy. Like if my husband really knew how much everything was overwhelming me, he would look at me differently. Like I wasn’t the confident, holds-it-all-together woman that I aspire to be. I want him to be proud of me and to say to himself, “My wife is amazing – look at all she manages to do – and she looks hot doing it!”
But that didn’t happen because while I trying to do all of that by myself I turned into a mean lil’ something. Angry for no reason. Cranky and tired no matter how many hours of sleep I got.
I feel so much wiser now. I don’t have anything to prove to any one. Asking for help doesn’t make me weak. Asking for help doesn’t make me weak.
I’ll say it one more time: Asking for help doesn’t make me weak.
I finally, finally got that through my head, even though I’ve been speaking it for years. I would gladly accept help when it was offered, but asking for it? Going out of my way to ask someone to do something for me, something I may not be able to repay them for? It shook me. I couldn’t do it. And now I realize it has a lot to do with my feelings of unworthiness.
Now it’s a bit easier. I can say to my husband, “Please watch the kids while I go lay down.” I can say to my kids, “Mommy needs a little break; I’ll be back in a little while.” I can say to my sister, “Can you please watch the kids while I go study/do an interview/write?”
All of this makes me a better woman. And that’s all I want.
Let’s talk about asking for help versus accepting help. Are you better at one or the other? Which one?
YES FINALLY! The realization that you simply CANNOT DO IT ALL, nor CANNOT DO IT ALONE, doesn’t make you weak, it makes you awesome. Everyone needs help sometimes. You’ve got an army in your corner, starting with me, so use us! That’s what we’re here for! Love you sis!
Auntieof2´s last [type] ..By 33, I Will Be: My Life Narrative
Amen to this whole post!
Ess.´s last [type] ..Shaniya Davis
I admit I have a hard time asking for help, but I’m going to really work on it. I had a burn out, break down, and it’s not fun! It’s much easier asking for help so I’m going to make a point to do it.
Briana @ 20 and Engaged´s last [type] ..The Newly Engaged: Wedding Planning Timeline – 12 Months Before
It’s great that you have a support system, people you can depend on to give you a much-needed break. I am looking forward to the day/time when this will be a frequent possibility for me.
Shelly´s last [type] ..Thinking….and Thanking!
Besides sharing the same first name, I see myself in your posts. You are clearly walking in your calling! Thank you sooooi much for reminding ME to take care of myself so that I can take care of those who rely on me.
God Bless you and your family!
Love,
Loyal Reader
It is really good you have an understanding husband. Many mothers tend to feel guilty if they take time for themselves. We have realize to that it is necessary to take time to take care of ourselves mentally and physically. We will be better mothers because we we will be better equiped to love and care for our families. What good would be if we never took care of ourselves and our marriages failed and the relationship with our kids suffered?Taking time for yourself is one of the most unselfish things you can do for yourself and family.
Thanks for sharing
HippyFitMom´s last [type] ..Hello world!