As I scrambled to get to class last week, I finally realized that what I am attempting—the Superwoman, Superstudent, Superwife routine— just is not working. Add in Superparent now that my daughter has started school and I’m literally jumping from one thing to the other, with little time to catch my breath.
While I’ve always talked about putting yourself first, it’s just now hitting me that I need to start practicing what I preach. 2011 has been a monumental year for me, but not without challenges. I’m more tired than I’ve ever been, major unexpected home repairs ($8K on a new furnace/AC unit? Sure, why not? It’s not like I’m self-employed now. Ugh.) put a damper in the budget, and my husband and I are still hashing out our roles and how we’re going to manage everything.
I needed some other ways to alleviate some of this workload, to make it so I’m not constantly wiped out no matter how much (or how little) sleep I get. I did some thinking and took some baby steps to get my sanity back:
1) Wake up, sweetheart, and get yourself ready. We’re working on my daughter picking out her own clothes and getting herself ready in the morning. We’ve been working to get her eczema under control so I still lather her up in her special oils (cocoa butter, olive oil and tea tree oil, if you’re wondering) but she’ll do the rest.
2) Snacks are on the bottom shelf—help yourself. I don’t know what took so long for me to figure this out, but I finally did. Being a work-at-home mom is very difficult because of the start-stop nature of my work. I’ll check my email, then make my son some breakfast. Go to the store, then come home and edit an article or write a quick blog post. Play with my son for a bit, then start dinner and do some research for class. But the most frequent request was always “Can I have some yogurt/a juice box/an apple, etc?” I would stop, grab the item they requested and then try to get back to my work. But now they ask for something and after I say yes, they can get it themselves. Encourages independence and gives Mommy an extra 20 minutes a day.
3) Dinner has to be done in 30 minutes or it’s a no-go. My favorite meal to prepare is crab cakes. But my method is pretty labor intensive: First I have to saute the veggies I plan to put in there. Let those cool. Add the seasoning, mix it with the crab meat, roll into patties. Let the patties firm up in the refrigerator for about 30 minutes, then melt some butter and brush it over the patties. Pop it in a 400 degree oven for 30 minutes. See what I mean? I don’t have time for all that. Now, we might have some pancakes and applesauce for dinner. I have to be realistic. I’m a graduate student, a small business owner, a blogger, a wife, a mother—I can not make a great meal every night. Just not going to happen.
4) Chore chart time! I bought a small dry-erase board and wrote three simple chores on it:
- Put plates in the sink after dinner.
- Pick up toys off living room floor before you head upstairs
- Pick out pajamas and change clothes
Good for your Tara! It’s the stop and go that I find so hard to do at home. It never fail either–as soon as you are on a roll, a small child will find a way to interrupt you.
People think i am crazy but I get my clothes together for the week. Each Sunday afternoon I take out clothes for me and my daughter and iron them so I have one less thing to do in the morning. We also bathe at night to cut down. I used to be pretty good about pre-preparing dinners (getting the cleaning and seasoning out of the way) but I’m not as great as I used to be
I love the goodie jar idea! I’ll definitely implement it when I have kids. Women always try to be superwoman at everything we do. We have to make things easier on ourselves.
I am a big fan of the quick dinner. I am also a WAHM, so balancing is tough. I make quick dinners and make enough so we have leftovers for lunch or dinner the next day. I also try to do small cleaning throughout the day to not feel too overwhelmed with the cleaning.
Great ideas! I don’t always have quick snacks that they can get for themselves, but it sure is nice when we do. I’ve also (finally) trained my kids in their bedtime routine (brush your teeth, go potty, get a small drink, then up to bed!), so that helps a lot. We’re pretty lax in the morning, but I’d like to have them get dressed first thing on their own so that they’re presentable if need be, but we haven’t gotten that far yet…
Also for eczema try vitamin e oil, works great!
Snacks have been on the bottom self since Aiden was like 1 1/2. No kidding. And.. he has several bins and he knows which toys go in which bins b/c I’ve labeled them (cars in one bin, blocks in another, etc) and he has been responsible for “putting things back in their homes” ever since he was old enough to take those suckers out.
May sound a little tough, but hey… independence and self-sufficiency’s the way to go!
I have found suggestions for a home binder that has schedules, chores, menu, etcs to help get life organized.