I find a lot of blog posts around the Internet with moms “confessing” to all the imperfect stuff they do. Shoot, I even had a little series for a while where I would confess things that I guess “perfect” mothers didn’t do—like emotional eating to cope with a long day, admitting that I’m lonelier than I would like, that motherhood in general stresses me out (even on good days).
I haven’t run a post like that in a while because I’m starting to realize that 1) there is no such thing as a “perfect” mother and 2) we’re all “perfect” mothers.
What do I mean? Well, it’s simple. Let’s look at me, for example.
I’m an ambitious, impatient, control freak who is compassionate and has a desire to help everyone I come across. I hate to clean but I love to cook. I’m analytical and sensitive. I’m willing to fight for what’s important. I love hard. I make friends easily. I’m pretty much Liz Lemon with brown skin.
But all that craziness I’ve got going on? That’s what my kids need from me. They need someone who will hug them tightly after school and listen intently as they describe their day. They need a mom who is goal-oriented and focused on being successful to give them the blueprint of how to do it themselves. They need me, as I am. With them, I don’t have to apologize for my imperfections because all these traits that others might call “flaws” my kids recognize it as “stuff that makes my Mom my mom.”
I may not be perfect but I’m perfect for them.
There is no such thing as this universal “supermom” we’ve all got built up in our heads: the woman who brings home the bacon, spends 100 hours of quality time a week with her kids, has an immaculate house, a great sex life, perfect wardrobe, great skin, better body after kids than she did before kids, etc. Let’s just agree to…stop.
I’m not calling for us to lower our expectations but to realize that our imperfections make us perfect in the eyes of our children. And that their opinion, not anyone else’s (not even mine!), should matter in comparison to that.
ROLL CALL! Am I the only one who embraces her imperfections? I say I’m better mom for it!