My Baby Girl Is Six And I’m Wondering Where The Time Went

Sometimes I find it hard to write about my kids. Because they are just…my babies.

My oldest baby is six years old today. SIX! And I’m just…speechless. I remember those labor pains like they were yesterday. I remember straining my neck to get a peek of my daughter once the nurses whisked her away, only to be frustrated that I didn’t have my glasses on and all I could see was a tuft of long black hair.

I remember bringing my daughter home to the dorm where we lived and praying every night that the freshman would not get too crazy and do anything stupid like burn the place down. I remember praying that I would soon get a job that would enable me to provide a better life for her.

I remember taking her to class, when my professors would coo over her in the hallways. I remember when my professor held her while she lectured, and she knew how to sway just right to keep my daughter asleep for the entire hour-and-a-half class period.

I remembered when I found out I was pregnant again, right after her first birthday and I felt incredible guilt that I was somehow depriving her of my full attention. I remember worrying that she would be resentful toward her little brother. But she turned out to be the best big sister he could have asked for.

I remember how nervous I was to leave her at daycare all day and how we postponed it as long as we could by piecing together babysitting help to get us through the day. I remember our “Kindergarten bootcamp” in the month before she started kindergarten.

I remember how she curled up in her father’s lap last week, laid her head on his shoulder and fell asleep like that was the most comfortable place in the world to be. I remember hoping and praying that my children would have a tremendous relationship with their father and I’m so glad they do.

But you know what I remember most from these past six years? That my daughter, for all her fussing and tantrums, has never stopped being a true sweetheart. She will give me a kiss after we eat and say, “Thank you for a delicious dinner,” unprompted. If given the opportunity to get a snack or a do something fun, she always makes sure her brother is included. She has the biggest heart of anyone I know. And I believe THAT is what she’s on this earth to teach me.

So on your birthday, little one, know that Mommy loves you more than life itself. You are the best thing to happen to a lot of people and the joy you bring to my life in particular is immeasurable. Remember to always be YOU. You’re at that age where you’re beginning to notice that everyone has their differences and sometimes those differences make you uncomfortable. I get it. But know that there is nothing better than loving who you are and what gifts you bring into this world. I will go to the ends of the earth to make sure that light always shines on you, baby. I love you!!

Comments

  1. Happy Birthday, Ayanna!

  2. Aww, so beautiful. Happy Birthday Ayanna.

  3. Hey Miss Tara! My daughter,Amani is turning 5 tomorrow And i know exactly how u feel. Happy Birthday to both of our girls!