by Tamara Floyd
Balance for a wife, mother of a baby boy, owner of three dogs, entrepreneur, blogger, housekeeper does NOT exist. It’s an urban myth and I’m happy to say I figured that out a long time ago. I don’t stress myself out on a quest for the unobtainable.
The fact is some days I’m more active in one of these roles than others. On any given day the baby takes precedence. Which of course has been more often. But some days it’s the business. I’m thankful that I have a wonderful husband as my partner. I would be truly lost without him.
Since I gave up on achieving true balance, I have giving myself permission to relax instead. Do what you can today. Make sure you eat and shower (you know how that goes). Take a nap or go to bed if you need to. In short, take care of yourself first.
I can’t lie and say it’s been easy in between exclusive breastfeeding and part-time cloth diapering; I have to pat myself on the back. I’m happy I can give that gift to myself. It means more when my family, friends and clients express their appreciation.
But don’t get me wrong. I don’t believe in missing deadlines and I try my best to always be punctual. Being a mother of a 2-month-old has taught me to get organized, which helps me to prioritize my tasks. While I make the list in my head, I can decide what must be completed and what’s my timeline. Honestly, the system is nowhere near perfect. I will probably be perfecting it until my dying days.
I have been putting in some hours on my current and pending projects. I don’t think I ever stopped even though I told myself I was on maternity leave. This week I’m officially off maternity leave. I’m filling my calendar with events, scheduling conference calls and meetings. It’s time to go back to work.
Believe me I have to in order to maintain my sanity. I love being a full time mom, but I also love building a business. There’s nothing sweeter than the gift of motherhood, but the thrill of closing the deal is just as indescribable. I have friends whose whole life revolves around their household and I commend them. But that’s not me. Sometimes I do feel crazy for wanting it all but I know with partnerships its doable.
How did you feel at the end of your maternity leave? Happy? Sad? Ambivalent?
Tamara L. Floyd is a branding, media relations and product ambassador that specializes in new media marketing and promotions for corporate, non-profit & entertainment industries. Her and her husband, Benjamin A. Floyd of five years were married in their early 20s and now are embarking on their newest lifetime commitment of parenthood. Floyd is also the creator of Natural Hair Rules, a site dedicated to encouraging others to be who they are naturally by nurturing themselves from the inside out. She recently started a mommy blog entitled, Boxer and the Baby where she “excels in business while experiencing motherhood.”
I am 26 and with a 2.5 year old little girl and I am still struggling with the whole balance thing. I have an excellent job, a great hubby and a beautiful daughter but I never seem to be able to get anything done at home. I am always tired, can’t be bothered to cook, the house is never as clean (though my friends would argue) and forget about taking care of the mommy. Everything else seems to be more important. The only thing I really do for me is get my hair cut and dyed. I am on the verge of becoming really stressed.
@Liz – I’d say that what you’re feeling is pretty normal. Not that it makes you feel any better, but it’s normal. I could probably write the same thing on any given day. But the point is that you recognize something needs to change and you pick one area within your control to take charge of. So you say you are always tired – how do you fix that? You say you forget about yourself – what’s one nice thing you can do for yourself this week? Start small and don’t forget that Mama deserves to be taken care of as well.