My daughter’s in a small Christian school for kindergarten this year. She’s learning all about creation and God’s grace and beauty in all things. She’s taken to the lessons in a big way and it makes me kind of bummed that I haven’t been doing this all along. We say prayer before meals and I teach her about being grateful and thankful and appreciative for all our blessings. But we don’t talk about Jesus every day and she only recently understood that our pastor is not God. (Which was a pretty fun conversation to have.)
But in truth, I’m still wrestling with my faith. I had some issues during my teen years that truly made me feel like there were only one set of footprints at times. I still struggle with my views on Jesus and God and heaven and hell. Of course I believe in God, but when it comes time to explain to my daughter what I believe and why I believe it and how strongly do I believe it, I struggle. My faith is a work in progress and it makes me cringe when I’ve had really close friends ask me, “Are you Christian?”
I am Christian and I do believe in God and I pray almost every day. But is that it? I don’t know. I feel like I’m growing into my spirituality and right now it’s a couple sizes too big. But having kids, in my face, asking me questions, is helping me sort it all out in a way that might not have happened otherwise.
For example, my daughter came home and talked about the creation story. Seven days, God created the earth. In her five-year-old mind, she wanted to know where God went. “Mommy, where did God go after he created all the people?”
“He didn’t go anywhere,” I said. “He just…stayed where he was.”
“So where is he?”
“He’s here…he’s all around us.”
She looked puzzled. “But I don’t see him.”
“I don’t see him either. You don’t see him. You feel him.”
She looked down as if God was touching her arm. “But…”
“I know, sweetie. Sometimes it’s kind of confusing. But just know that he loves you. And is always looking out for you.”
My response seemed to comfort her.
As loyal readers know, I don’t talk much about religion on this blog. And when I don’t write about something, it’s usually because I’m still wrestling with it myself and can’t yet find the words. I’m getting much better, though. One post, one day, one question from my kids at a time.
Tell me – did having kids change your view on religion? What are you teaching them in terms of spirituality and faith?
First, I like this post. Now, to answer your questions.
Did having kids change your view on religion? For us, no. What it did was make us dig deep, and more than anything else reinforced why I believe what I believe. Sometimes when you’re in something so long it becomes 2nd nature and you don’t even think about it. Having children made me think about my faith and articulate it. But more importantly it forced me to live it out consistently. I couldn’t just talk it, I had to do it.
What are you teaching them in terms of spirituality and faith? My children are a range of ages, but what I’ve always taught them is that your faith is important; there is a God; there are things you can’t control; trusting is important; its important to spend time reading the bible and praying everyday. These are good habits and hopefully as they get older, they own it for themselves.
For me, I’ve seen the result of doing this.
Great post.
Our Christian faith is important to us. Our daughter is 2.5 and we are mostly teaching her about God’s grace and love. We want her to know that God created her, loves her, and died for her so that she could go to heaven. We haven’t talked about hell with her at all, but we have said that we could never make it into heaven on our own but God loves us so much that he sent his son Jesus so we could live with Him in heaven someday. I think being a parent has helped me better understand God as a Father and how much he loves us as His children.
I definitely feel you on growing into your faith a day at a time. That is all you can do because it is a daily journey.
I strayed away in college, but since I have found my way back, I have a new ownership of my relationship with God and it’s not just because it “was how I was raised”. And I also feel like Nate being at our church’s daycare has really helped me to see God “as a child” again – which has been humbling to say the least. The biggest impact having my son has had on my faith is living each day knowing how much I love my little one and then thinking about how God loves me more than that. And for God to give up His only son for us, I can’t even fathom it. Whew, it’s like my mind isn’t big enough to wrap my mind around how much love that is…
i just tell Amani that God is the One who gave her to me and that when God gives you something its a blessing. i also told her that when she feels like she cant talk to me or her Granny, talk to God because he’ll always listen.
I REALLY like this post.
I am glad that your daughter is asking a lot of questions, as this helps you process where you are spiritually. I was born and raised in a conservative Christian family, so we talked about God, sang Sunday School songs and memorized Bible verses while growing up. It was natural for my family to do these things almost daily.
Fast-forward to 9 years ago when my son was born; my life was miserable. My marriage was failing and I had some TOUGH questions for God. But I asked Him to help me separate my ill-feelings about my personal life from my relationship with my son so I could pass on the right “atmosphere” to him. I am now a divorced mom, and we talk about a lot of things, including God, Adam & Eve, etc. I am thankful that I am now more at peace within myself so I can objectively answer the harder questions he comes with.
Definitely it has changed mine. I used to be so sure, and now it’s hard. I want to know exactly what I believe before teaching my kids, but I’m still struggling…
My faith is always changing anyway, and it’s difficult for me to see exactly how things would have been different if I hadn’t had kids.
From the other side of motherhood, though, make sure that your kids have really strong spiritual examples other than you as they grow up! My daughters had a wonderful girls’ group at church when they were teens; my sons, not so much. Now my daughters are wildly, enthusiastically Christian, and my sons say that they are atheists.
My older daughter has really helped me grow closer to God in the last few years. See http://www.piercedhands.com if you want examples—and no, I’m not shilling for her!
Thanks for sharing.
It’s tested it and made it stronger. Sometimes I feel weaker. It gave me a closer look at how God sees us.