{YML Voices} Six Things My First Year Of Motherhood Has Taught Me

By Amber (www.theyeyodiaries.com) 

A year ago today, I became a mother. I gave birth to a 7 lb, 1 oz, little girl and everything about my life—so much of who I was—changed.

This list summarizes the profundity of my first year as a mom and describes my six most valuable lessons (so far).

True selflessness.

Having a child has taught me how to put someone else before myself. I think marriage set the foundation for that, but becoming a mother sealed the deal. It has forced me to give pause and think about a lot of things in my life (like relationships, priorities, work). The reality of motherhood—for me, is that from this point on, everything I do affects someone else. That’s a lot to think about, but it’s brought about a refreshing change in how I see things and how I do things.

Unfettered determination.

I’ve always been a go-getter. I’m very goal oriented and believe that it’s possible to see your dreams come to fruition through focus, hard work, and prayer. But man, when this little girl came…I became the captain of #TeamHustleHard. I went into overdrive with pursuing my professional goals this year because, well, I know she’s depending on me. My family is depending on me (solely, for now) to bring home the bacon and sizzle that puppy up. So right now I’m working two jobs, which leaves me tired beyond measure most days, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I guess you can say that motherhood awakened my inner lioness! Rawr! Beyond that, I want to demonstrate to my daughter how important it is in life to pursue your passions. It’s awesome to dream big, but you have to willing to chase your dreams without abandon. Being able to call her mommy a college professor is my evidence of what that looks like.

What a real role model is.

Simply put, I want my daughter to be proud of me. From my career down to my appearance, I want her to feel like her mom is the bestest-mom-in-the-whole-wide-world. Not that she can’t or won’t have other women that she’ll respect and look up to, but I want to be her number one place to look for inspiration. I don’t plan to achieve that under false pretenses, however. I simply hope that being the best me I can be – a whole, complete, self assured, me…will be enough. And if it’s not, at least I would have tried.

Heightened vulnerability.

I feel things on a deeper level now that I’m a mom. I can’t quite put it into words, but my level of sensitivity and empathy toward others (especially toward children) has dramatically increased. On the flip side, where I used to be more giving of my feelings (and my time) to other people, I’m much more guarded. Family comes first now and I generally don’t make exceptions when it comes to that. My tolerance level for drama, issues, and problems was already low, but now it’s a big, fat zero.

The essence of beauty.

Often times we hear of a woman having children and then forgetting what being a woman felt and looked like. I’m the exact opposite. No mom jeans over here! Motherhood has made me feel more beautiful than ever, stretch marks and all. I’m not a fashionista nor a shopaholic, but I like to look good. I’ve even taken a small interest in wearing makeup lately. I like the basic principles of looking put together and having style sense. Those practicalities are what I want to pass onto my daughter. It’s nice to feel glamorous in stilettos, but I want her to feel beautiful in a pair of Chuck Taylor’s, too. Just like I do.

Limitless love.

I don’t think I have to explain this one. The saying is cliche but so true: You don’t know love until you become a parent. Period. To see this baby I carried for nine months grow and to see the world through her eyes has given me a feeling that’s so inexplicably good. And warm. It’s undying. It’s powerful. It’s love. Pure love.

I’m sure there will be many more lessons to learn as I travel down this road of motherhood. Some won’t come as easily as I feel they have this first year. There’ll be hard lessons, battles, and maybe even all-out wars from time to time. But for now, I think I’m off to a pretty good start.

Thank you, daughter, for teaching me so much about myself, life, and love.