by Christine Mills
The hazing sessions of motherhood begin promptly at 10:30 P.M. and ends around 5:30 A.M. The sleeping habits were so startling that I dreaded nighttime knowing that it would be a mixture of fear of SIDS and interrupted sleep cycles. Like clockwork, Anissa would rise every 2-3 hours to be fed and changed. Like clockwork, Babes and I would debate about whose turn it was to get up.
“I changed her last time.”
“You have the milk.”
“Just change her and then I’ll feed her.”
“I have to go to work in the morning. I was on my feet all day.”
“I’m so tired.”
My mom, the darling woman she is, is extremely helpful, but a night person she is not. Babes and I had to battle out the nighttime shift by ourselves, while she slept soundly in the next room.
Upon realizing that this would be our life for another month or so, I decided to get creative. I read magazines while I held her and psyched myself into believing that it really was not 3:15 in the morning but rather 7:00 in the evening. I played music and even watched my Cosby DVD episodes, anything to keep me up. I tried however, to stay in my bed, just in case I did fall asleep, she could be in the safety of the bed.
Another technique that worked was to have her lay on my chest, with my arms holding down the sides of the comforter to keep her strapped in nice and safe. The sound of my heartbeat soothed her and brought her back to a time and place where there was no gravity, but constant movement, sounds, and warmth.
I could understand her jitters. She jumped at every sound and our whole environment was foreign. I joked with myself as I studied her observing the rooms in our home, thinking she must be saying in her mind, “These guys didn’t do too bad of a job sprucing up around here.”
My favorite time came at 6:00 in the morning when I heard my mom stirring in the kitchen to put on the pot for her cup of tea. Knowing the nursery was finally open, I jumped at the chance to finally get some rest.
How did you make it through those first few days of motherhood?
I must say, I am extremely jealous of anyone whose mother helps them that much!! That’s awesome you had help like that!
She was pretty amazing. But she had to leave after two weeks and then I was on my own.
The first few days for me consisted of a lot of crying at night. My mother did help me, but she always wanted me to do it on my own. it was a rough first week but a great one.
The first few weeks, I was in a complete daze. I don’t think I was functioning until fully until probably the second month.
I am surviving by “shift work” with the hubs. He sleeps in til 11, then I sleep in the afternoon and go to bed early. He also helps a lot with Archer at night. I feed him while laying in bed, then he burps and changes him, rocks him to sleep
I found any bit of help is tremendous during that time. It’s great that you’re able to rest in the afternoons.
I don’t remember sleeping during the beginning few months. At least, I don’ think I did. I do know that at some point, I just took over the night time shift after I had some rest in the evening.
Moms was able to help out when she could, but not often…usually. Hubby was a help, but he’s not a middle of the night I didn’t get any sleep kinda person.
For the most part, he changed her and I fed her.
It is definitely a tough time, but then all of a sudden you’re celebrating their first birthday!
Nice to have mom so close by to help! My son did not sleep through the night until he was 1.5 yrs old. I was sleepy for that long! My situation was such where I had to do it all by myself, so the exhaustion was unending.
My daughter didn’t fully sleep through the night either. But when she finally did it felt so good to have a full night’s sleep without interruptions.
I hope my mom will be able to help when I have kids. I’m scared to not get much sleep.
It’s amazing what we are capable of surviving, but those days go by very quickly.