My daughter starts kindergarten in a little more than three weeks and I’m already feeling those stomach butterflies when you’re on the verge of something huge.
She’s still four and won’t be five until the end of November, so I’m a little concerned about her not getting lost in the shuffle and feeling comfortable in this new setting. I’ve deemed August “Kindergarten Boot Camp Month” because everything has been about the transition. I feel good.
See, education is of utmost importance to me. Being able to think critically, to analyze, to process information and make your own way in the world—that is crucial. And it is my hope that everyone at my daughter’s school knows this as well. Her teacher is doing home visits this week, to get to know the students so they see a familiar face on the first day of school. I’m not sure if this is the norm for a lot of schools, but I know I never had a teacher in my house growing up. I’ve been preparing. I plan on using this home visit (it’s tomorrow!) to set the tone for my daughter’s academic career. Please believe – Mama Jefferson is serious about the schoolin’ and I plan on being very involved every step of the way.
I asked my veteran mamas for advice on what to ask the teacher, to make sure we were all on the same page once school starts. Here were some of the best questions I got:
- Why do you teach? What’s your motivation?
- What has been your most challenging child and how did you handle the situation and the parent?
- What are your expectations of me as a parent?
- What’s the expectation around recess and snack time? What kind of snacks will the kids be eating? Will learning experiences be connected to the food?
- How much is my baby expected to know when she enters? What are the consequences if she doesn’t know the basics?
- What do you do if the child is FAR BEYOND the basic requirements of an entering kindergartner? Do you change your approach—assign more challenging work? If there is a gifted program, what does it take to get your kid in it? How do you discipline? (Do you punish the whole class for one person’s indiscretion? Is recess taken away? Is the kid put in the corner?)
- How much access is given to the parents? Can you sit in a class and observe? Are parents invited to help in-class? How will you communicate with parents? Weekly newsletters? Email?
- If there are concerns with learning, when will you inform me?
- What can I do with my child at home to supplement what you’re teaching? How much downtime will my child have in class?
- What will my child’s day look like from half hour to half hour?
- What activities/efforts do you make to improve the girl’s social skills?
Amani is entering pre kindergarten this september and I too have high expectations. I have always been exxtremely serious about academics and I too plan on being all up in Amani’s teacher’s face. Amani is only three and won’t be four until nov 23 so I’m extremely nervous about her beingin school around all these other children. She’s used to a small daycare setting and I don’t want the school experience to overwhelm her. But I have total faith in my baby and I know that I support her, she’ll do fine.
@Jennice – It’s something about having your baby be the youngest in the class, isn’t it? But I think she’ll be great – all our kids will be because they’ve got caring parents who are looking out for their best interests
“I’m not sure if this is the norm for a lot of schools, but I know I never had a teacher in my house growing up.” – I’ve never experienced this either, but seems like a good idea.
Those are some really good questions; My daughter starts elementary school in September as well (K1 at a private school), and I will be stealing some of your questions for her open house/meet & greet LOL. I was four going into five in mid-November as well, as it definitely has it’s advantages/disadvantages but overall, getting a head start on her education is definitely a good thing!
Great post and love the title. My daughter is only 2.5 y/o but she goes to a Montessori daycare 5 days a week, I am the youngest parent there (I’m 22) and I’m the mom who always get involved in the activities etc. I know everybody is surprised because some of the teachers and the other parents have kids my age LOL and they don’t expect that from me…
Anyways, those are great questions, good luck with the meeting and be sure to tell us how it went!
Tara, I saw on your Facebook where someone mentioned bullying. If you haven’t already asked your daughter’s teacher about it, shoot her a quick email. Bullying starts young, and it’s still an issue these days. Know your school or school district’s policy for this. And definitely ask your daughter’s teacher what she does if/when she witnesses it. Kids as young as middle school are committing suicide from bullying, so many school and agencies are fighting it hard…know where your daughter’s school stands.
Also, never think you are getting on your daughter’s teachers’ nerves or anything (though I get the feeling you don’t give a flip about that). Teachers APPRECIATE parents who are there every step of the way. You can always tell the difference in students whose parents are like that — a GOOD difference. Good luck in Kindergarten this year!
Thank you Tara!
Next week, my daughter will be starting Kindergarten. She’s 5, but makes 6 in November.
They’re giving us a change to meet the teachers and I was wondering what kind of questions I’d like to ask my daughter’s teacher. I want her to know that just because I’m young, I care tremendously about my daughter’s education, and still being a student myself, I care about her learning experience.
I’ll definitely be using some of these questions. Thank you so much for this post!
Daaaang these are some good questions. *bookmarking* I want to know her responses, hehehe.
As a teacher, I find some of these questions unnecessarily aggressive. For example there aren’t going to be “consequences” for a child not having a kindergarten skill. The point of school is to help them to learn, not to set them up to have to prove themselves and punish them if they can’t perform a task already.
Also the teacher is not free to discuss how other children behaved badly and how it was dealt with. That is confidential between the family who had the challenging child and the teacher. It would be better to ask a more general question about classroom procedures or rules instead of seeming like you are trying to “get the dirt” on another kid. I know that isn’t your intention but I did have a very intense mom this year who asked weird questions such as if I wrote down everything every kid did wrong in a book. The answer is NO because the point is not the rub the kids nose in it, just talk about it, deal with it, and move on! Not to be like, “remember August 8th, you scribbled on someone’s painting they worked hard on??”
I think it is really kind of the teacher to visit her students at their homes in order to make them feel at ease about the first day. I would feel really overwhelmed if I went to go meet my student and the parent interrogated me in an aggressive way, presupposing I was not a qualified or intelligent educator. Yes, I taught preschool but I do have a master’s degree. Teaching a low grade level doesn’t mean you just walked in off of the street and don’t know what you are doing.
I don’t think using the word “consequences” was meant to be directed towards punishment. I think the parent may like to know that if their child is unable to spell or recite things at a certain level, if it would be detrimental to their learning experience and advancement to the next grade. And the question about behavior, I didn’t see it as digging up dirt. I feel if my child is high needs and gets upset easily and gets out of control, I’d like to know if his teacher has ever had to deal with that kind of behavior. And as for discipline, I’d like to make sure everyone is disciplined fairly and situations are evaluated before punishing the wrong person. It’s happened to me as a child. I was too emotional to speak up and often times I’d go cry in the corner because I was hurt from the simple fact that I was in trouble. I think that it’s important to explain to the teacher why the questions are being asked and approach them in a warm way. I know the questions sound a little aggressive, but when you grow up attending schools with not-so-great teachers (speaking from my experience), you worry that history just may repeat itself. No one wants that for their child. It’s just important to have a great parent/teacher relationship where both understand each other. Love you Candice and Tara :).
@CanCan – I don’t know if I’d qualify the questions as “aggressive.” I’d say proactive. LOL. I do not have a clue how kindergarten at this school works. Thus, I have to ask questions so I can be an informed parent. This is my first time dealing with my kid in a school setting and I want this teacher to know that I plan on being my child’s number one advocate. Sheena already explained how some of the questions you found too aggressive were meant. Of course I don’t want to dig up dirt on a specific kid, which is why the question was “WHAT was your most challenging child” not “Who.” I just wanted to know if she had a high-needs child, for example, how did she make sure that student was able to follow along and have a great fit in the class? None of the questions made assumptions about whether she’s a qualified teacher. They were open-ended questions designed to help me get a sense of how my child will be spending her day in this woman’s care. The teacher came over, I asked my questions, we laughed and talked and all was well. No need to worry.