A reader sent me an email a couple days ago, asking me basically, how in the hell I manage to do everything I talk about: writing books, going to school, blogging, being a mommy and wife, working from home with two kids (and no babysitter….really, I can’t stress it enough. Someone please come help me.).
(Incidentally, Erykah Badu’s “Window Seat” just came on my Pandora radio station. Great timing.)
I get asked that question a lot or some variation of it. “How do you do it all?”, “Wow – how much sleep do you get?” etc. I know I’m not the only mom who has 233 jobs and a real need to get more sleep. I’m afraid these bags under my eyes are permanent.
Since I became a mom 4.5 years ago, I’ve been trying to come up with an answer to that whole “balance” question. Because, if I can be real honest for a second, I have no balance. Nope, not I. Look elsewhere for your “Oh, she’s got it all together” inspiration.
It’s like all my responsibilities and duties are on a Ferris Wheel. My kids come first, then some days, this blog is at the top. The next day, homework is screaming out for some attention. Then my house is a mess and I spend the day in “domestic goddess” mode. Only to have my kids destroy the house an hour later. Grr…
Where was I? Oh, balance. Right.
I think the best we can hope for is that we go to bed happy. I mean, if you really think about it, we don’t have much control over things that happen to us in this life. But if we can go to bed feeling like we did the best we could with what was thrown our way, then I’d consider that a successful day.
I usually want to be kicking ass in every area of my life on the same day. A perfect day for me would be playing with the kids on the floor, getting all my work done, and having my husband come home to a sparkling clean house and a hot, homecooked meal. With enough energy left over for nighttime activities. #YouKnowWhatItIs
But most days, it doesn’t go down like that. Rarely ever. I used to kick myself, spending hours wondering what I wasn’t doing right or why I just couldn’t get my @#$* together. Today I’m more realistic. And I shoot for being upbeat and optimistic most days, even when everything goes craptastically wrong.
So as a long answer to a quick question, I have no balance. Do I think it’s something moms should strive for? In an ideal world, yeah. Balance is less about each area of your life getting equal attention every day of week, but rather, being able to identify your priorities and act in a way that honors them.
Just my two cents.
Ladies, what do you think? Are you good at balancing everything or do you have more of a “take it as it comes” approach?
Tara, you hit the nail on the head. Are you sure you didn’t write this post just for me?
And you should totally publish your definition of work/life balance. Like, really.
Some days I long for being the best at all the little components of my life: the best mommy, the best wife, the best teacher, the best student…and oh, the best friend (luckily I have friends who live the same kind of life — otherwise, they’d disown me). But most days, I’m okay with being the best at one or two and keeping my head above water in the others. Like you said, going to bed at night knowing I did the best I could makes me feel accomplished and at peace.
Thanks for this post. Sometimes we just need to hear from someone else that doing the best we can is the best we can do!