My daughter has long, long hair. When it’s wet, it’s down to the middle of her back. As a result I spend a lot of time trying to keep tangles out of it (most of the time I’m unsuccessful). So I’ve usually got my fingers in her hair whenever she’s near.
I guess yesterday she was getting a little sick of me. She wanted to play, she wanted to keep up with her brother and having me tell her to “Come here, let me fix your braid” was driving her crazy.
I touched one of her braids and she threw her hands up in frustration. “Mommy, I don’t need you to touch my hair! I’m already beautiful!”
I took a step back and smiled.
It took me a long time (until like, three weeks ago) to look in the mirror and not cringe or beat myself up about what I saw. I’m short, round, with a baby face. I always wished I was a little taller (at least five feet!) which would help to make me look slimmer, and maybe if I was, say, 5’4″, it would be easier for people to assume I’m an adult.
But you know what? I realized I like being short. It’s a conversation starter (“Man, how tall are you?”). If my husband puts the Oreos up high, then I can’t reach them and I can’t eat them. I get to wear heels and it’s not even noticeable.
I’m round but ladies please believe I can fill out a dress like nobody’s business. I’ve got a baby face but hey, it’s better than the alternative, right?
I’m in a season of growth right now (hmm….that’s a post for another day) and finally getting to a place of self-acceptance is not only long overdue, but something I’m really trying to instill in my daughter early. My parents did the best they could, but they had no idea of the torment I faced once I left their house for school. Bullying is not a new thing, people.
So it’s for this reason I’m glad she already knows how beautiful she is. I tell her and her brother every day how smart, how beautiful, how kind she is. She’s a walking wonder. But my job is not done. Part of the lesson is how to be confident in yourself when the rest of the world tells you you’re wrong. That you’re not as cute as you think. That you’re dumb. That no one is ever going to love you.
I want her to feel like she can conquer anything. She’s the total package. I want her to feel that way every single minute of every single day. While I know that’s probably not going to be the case, I feel like we’re off to a great start. A damn good start.
Yes, I would say that you all are off to a great start as well. I’m glad that she already feels beautiful about herself and that says something about your parenting. It means that although you’ve had some issues with your own body issues, you haven’t pushed them off onto your daughter.
It’s amazing the lessons we can learn from our young ones. I’m learning from Moo to not sweat the small stuff and to find something to joyful about every day.
Hey Tara! I know I’ve disappeared for a while but I always read your blogs and then smack myself on the hand and get back to school work
I love this article. I am definitely in the same mode that you are in. Now that I am 30, I finally accepted that I am who I am. The things that I can change, I’m changing. Everything else will have to do. I also am short. I am five feet and trust me, it doesn’t make a difference. Before when people would call me a teenager, I would get irritated. Now, I think it is the funniest thing when people tell me they think I am my children’s older sister. God made us just the way we are…perfect. And remember, your daughter is beautiful because she came from a beautiful people.
I’m with you in the “season of growth”, and as I’m constantly growing and continually learning to love and accept myself, I pray that I can do as wonderful of a job as you have with my daughter in teaching her to love and accept herself.
Yay for your baby girl knowing that she’s beautiful already. Sometimes it takes the little people in our lives to make us realize how blessed we truly are. Great job on raising such a confident daughter.
Good morning, Tara! I’m so glad you posted this for, like, 500 reasons! Ill only touch on a few. Ya know, sometimes it takes raising another person to realize our own hang-ups w/in myself. While I make sure to tell my 18 mth. old how beautiful, smart, and loved she is, I’ve realized that my self-confidence could use a little pick me up. My cousin said. “Its easier to train a child than to child an adult.” But, I see that both are happening. You’re training her to love herself just the way she is and you’re changing your own personal views to line up with your life lesson. That’s called being a darn good mommy! Have a marvelous day, beautiful!
As a mom of 4 girls, we have a little of everything in our household and this post hits home!! Our girls are watching and listening and they have a way of getting us back on track! Great Blog.
Can I just say that not only are the kids beautiful, smart and funny (kids just say the darndest things lol), but they’re polite.
I used to think that, “Oh, the Babies are so well behaved cause well hey, they are MY niece and nephew after all. But Dad and I took them to the library last time and they were just playing quietly, using teamwork, sharing with each other and the other kids, and other kids were running around, yelling, snatching etc. One little girl told Dad, “Um, we was using that toy,” all sassy, like a grown woman.
It dawned on me that no, the Babies aren’t polite just because they’re MY niece and nephew. They’re polite because they’re are well brought kids.
Yes, Tara, I gotta say you are off to a damn good start. I love you and I’m proud of you.
-Auntieof2