Picture this:
It’s a perfectly sleepy Sunday morning.
But I get up. Decide to tackle my errands early, so I head out with my daughter in tow to go to the grocery store to stock up.
Everything we see that looks even remotely good we toss into the cart. Yes, it was one of those trips.
As I’m steering the cart toward the registers, a display of Arbor Mist catches my eye. It’s on sale, with a decent size bottle only $4.49. Hmmmm….
I hardly ever drink, even though most days I feel like at least a glass or two would suit me just fine. I wanted to treat myself, and get something to sip as I stay up late writing these blog posts. (Writing while tipsy? Well, don’t mind if I do.)
I place the bottle carefully on top of the rest of our food and head to the checkout line. I get out my I.D. and the grocery store savings card, trying to be as efficient as possible so I don’t hold up the line when it comes time to buy my alcohol. I’m considerate like that.
The teenage cashier grabs the bottle and motions for the cashier at the next register to come scan it for him since he’s underage.
The bagger shook his head. “We can’t sell it, dude. It’s not one o’clock.”
Screeeeeeeech.
I’m so tired I don’t realize they’re denying my purchase at first. “Wait – what?”
“It’s Sunday. We don’t sell alcohol before 1,” the cashier tells me.
I suck my teeth and wrinkle my face. “Well, what time is it?” I know I’m being extra dramatic, but this has to be some kind of joke. Ashton Kutcher had to be perched on top of the tuna display, waiting to jump out and yell that I was being punked.
“It’s 11, ma’am.”
“But…I mean…it’s…y’all only sell alcohol after one?” I hold out my I.D. and savings card like an idiot. Or an alcoholic.
“Yes.”
I stuff my I.D. back in my wallet, fumbling with the thin opening, muttering to myself, “See, the ONE TIME I try to do something JUST FOR ME it’s always SOMETHING that gets in the way. I swear I should’ve just gone to WalMart like I originally planned….”
The cashier looked concerned and so did the bagger, and when I met the cashier’s gaze to grab the receipt, he actually looked scared.
I admit, it wasn’t my best moment – standing in line, fussing about a $5 bottle of fake wine early on a Sunday morning with my daughter watching.
But y’all, I really wanted it.
I’ll forward all of her therapy bills to you later on, thankyouverymuch.
Great post! i probably wouldve done the same…
Weeeird. I live in Ontario, Canada. We can only buy booze at the LCBO (liquor store) or The Beer Store. But it opens at 11am. And why do they have stuff on the shelves if you can’t buy it until a certain time of day? They should keep it behind the counter or something so you can’t put it in your cart and get your hopes all up and such.
LOL!!!!! This story is too funny. I so know what you mean. It’s like, you can’t even try to do something that’s just a little self-indulgent. Geez Louise!
That is funny!
LMAO @ u and some Arbor Mist! Which reminds me, I bought u a couple of those frozen packets from Detroit and totally forgot to give them to you today
Wait…. I’m so confused. So store don’t sell alcohol before 1pm? Not that I’ve ever tried to buy so early, but really? REALLY? Is that only an Ohio thing? Who would have thought?!
@Alicia – I don’t drink. Like ever. Maybe once a year. And when I do, it’s usually a drink at a restaurant. I don’t keep liquor in my house. So I had no clue really that the whole “no alcohol before 1” thing existed. I saw a sign on the way out but I’m like, Why isn’t the sign NEXT TO THE ALCOHOL?!?! *smh* Making me look like a lush in front of my babies. LOL
This post literally made me Laugh Out Loud! Too funny!
God forbid you are adult enough to be able to buy alcohol no matter the time. We don’t have that law in WA, but there is a time span in the early AM we can’t purchase which makes it total crap for those working graveyard. I hear ya on the “just this time” gripe lol