Going from being hugely pregnant, uncomfortable-to-walk, get-this-kid-out-of-me-now young momma-to-be, to the messy, cranky aftermath of childbirth is a shock to your system like nothing else.
I remember being dazed after my emergency C-section, looking up at the nurses and doctors when they insisted I needed to nurse the baby RIGHT NOW and deciding that the whole idea of motherhood needed to be revisited ASAP if they thought a woman in my condition was capable of taking care of a newborn.
From there, it was most cloudy with a few days of sunshine. If there’s anything I love more in this life than my kids, it’s sleep. Not just any sleep though. I love the blankets pulled up tight, fan on low blasting me in the face, a full belly, and nowhere to be in the morning. THAT kind of sleep.
I gave all that up for the foreseeable future. For now, my sleep situation sucks.
But you know who got me through? My mom.
This woman, who works 80 hours a week with two full-time jobs and a part-time job on the weekend, managed to get two weeks off from all her jobs and came over to do the night-shift with me. Meaning, all I had to do was wake up enough to feed the baby, and she would do the diapering and burping and rocking the baby back to sleep.
Oh, man – do you know how glorious that was? I still don’t know how I can repay her. Without her, my early postpartum period would easily been 10x harder.
I’ve found that you need this – a backup – once you join the ranks of all the moms who have come before you. You need someone you can call when you just know your best isn’t going to be good enough. You’re too tired, too stressed, spread too thin. You need relief. That relief can come in the form of a mom, an aunt, a sister, a godparent, a cousin, a best friend. Whoever you can get in your corner is golden.
Admitting you can’t do it all by yourself is the first step. Calling in backup doesn’t make you less of a mother – it solidifies your status.
Who do you call when the going gets rough? Is there anyone in your life who’s part of your Mommy Needs a Break crew?
I got to a wonderful church full of wonderful people who absolutely LOVE my children. When I had my 3rd baby this past summer,I had a neighbor that picked up the other 2 took them to daycare, and dropped them off everyday for a month (my husband was deployed) I can’t tell you how big of a help that was!
But hands down, when I need a break or help or whatever, I can call my mother and it doesn’t even matter that she lives 10-12 hrs away from me. If I need her she will jump in her car with the quickness and be on her way.
I delivered my first child in Germany, all by myself (husband was deployed) My mom was on the first flight she could catch and stayed an entire month to help out! And when I had to deploy myself 4 months later, she took her grandbaby without any hesitation and kept him until we got back. Now my husband has only actually been there for one birth…but my mom has been there for all 3.
I don’t know what I’d do without this woman, she’s absolutely amazing
awww what a good post! I told my mom she is being my “baby nurse” when I eventually have a child…I can see how it would be very helpful! I agree that reinforcments are necessary!
That’s good your mom was there for you. I always had my mom and sister in my corner when I needed that new-mommy help. When I called, my mom came. She was there when I was laboring, came to clean up the house, and watched the baby when I was about to tear my hair out.
You were awake after your C-section? I was knocked out and they couldn’t get me to wake up until two hours later! lol
My baby had already taken a bottle, which I was sad about becasue it caused all types of problems.
Honey I know exactly what you mean! I am the proud mommy of three two of which are twins. Just before I had the twins my mom moved down to NC. She is by far my go to person for just about EVERYTHING. When I realized that she wouldn’t be here for me after the children where born I thought for sure that I would loose it! My mother of course proved me WRONG. When I found out that the twins were going to be taken early and on HER birthday she was the first person I called three day’s before my c-section and she drove down without a second thought. The twins are now 19 months old and she’ll jump in her car or on a plane in a heartbeat if we need her to take care of them or our son.
If we need someone on a whim we do have a bunch of people that we can call for a mental break. It’s such a blessing to have people in your life that you can count on!