What is it about performance reviews that make you so irrational?
We just got finished with reviews at the nonprofit where I work and let me tell you, I was a mess the whole week before. I had just come off my biggest project of the year where I had a few stumbles (a learning curve, really) and wasn’t feeling confident about my performance at all.
I started going to extreme lengths to cope, like watching medicine dramas on TV to convince myself that even if I sucked at my job, it wasn’t like the mistakes I made meant that someone could die, like on ER or even Scrubs.
But I came through with a glowing review. I was rated even higher than the previous year. So where was the disconnect? Why did I see myself as horribly incompetent when my boss thought I was a great asset to the team?
I read the article over at WorkingMothers.com (but was too lazy to sign up for an account and thus didn’t leave a comment) and can definitely relate. No matter how great a job we are doing (and the evidence is usually overwhelming!) as moms we so often doubt ourselves, don’t we? I chuckled when you talked about making small mistakes but feeling like you may have scarred your child for life. I know what you mean! I guess the most important thing to stay mindful of is just as you had indicated – when the children are smiling and laughing and well-fed and smart and appropriately clothed – we should give ourselves a pat on the back, because that in itself speaks volumes!
theres a wonderful book i read called “breaking the good mom myth” http://www.alyson.ca/breaking-the-good-mom-myth.html i highly recomend this to all moms young and old. we need to let go of the idea of perfect. there is no perfect. you strive to give your kids your all, and thats all that is required. we can be our own worst enemies and believe me the kids pick up on this and will play out behavior accordingly. give yourself a pat on the back. youre really doing alot better than you give yourself credit for.