Damn

November 4, 2009 | Uncategorized

(Note: I know you’re looking for that last Disney post on how to do Disney on a budget and I promise you it’s coming. I just need to share something with you all first…)

So over the past week or so, I’ve been feeling crazy uncomfortable when I put my bra on. (We’re family, right? We can talk about these things.)

My armpits just felt mad lumpy. In a panic, I do a quick breast exam, thinking maybe there’s a lump or something that has lodged itself  under my arm.

“Oh, Lord,” I say to myself. “I’m too young for this! I’m only 23! Spare my life, Jesus!”

I don’t feel anything, say a quick prayer of relief and then go about my business.

Then again, a day later, I feel uncomfortable again. “Maybe the lump is playing hide-and-seek with me,” I’m thinking.

I check myself again.

No lumps. At all.

“What IS this?” I screech. Why do I feel so uncomfortable? What is the deal??

As I’m getting dressed this morning I realize. It’s not a lump - it’s FAT.

Oh, damn.

I’ve got arm spillage. And it’s rubbing against my side, making me hella uncomfortable.

Excuse me while I go sob into a pillow.

I don’t know how this snuck up on me. I’m not bigger anywhere else, but I’m gaining weight in my arms. I’ve just had the most stressful two months at work and I admit to finding comfort in baked goods rather than 20 minutes of cardio. Sorry. I’m not that kind of woman, although I strive to be.

I always get these wake-up calls where I see myself gaining weight and I immediately put myself on the “Girl, stop tripping!” diet plan, which includes lots of veggies and water, and the “Girl, get it together!” workout plan, which includes daily visits with my elliptical machine.

Why does it always take an uncomfortable armpit, a too-tight pair of jeans, a pair of swollen ankles to give me the warning signs that I haven’t been treating myself well lately? Giving my body all kinds of calories and sugar on top of mountains of stress. Eww.

So right here, right now, I pledge to do better. To love myself enough to accept the fact that I hate exercise but it’s necessary if I want to be healthy and active. It could have very well been a lump in my armpit and then what? Cancer?

I need to make the most of every day I have with my family, even if that means sweating it out for a few minutes or so. I deserve at least that much.

As always, you can follow me on Twitter and check out the group on Facebook for more on young motherhood. (Be sure to check out our Question of the Day!) Even if you’re not a “young mom,” you are welcome to join! I'll see you there.

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6 Comments »


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  • Yakini said:

    lol @ “I’ve just had the most stressful two months at work and I admit to finding comfort in baked goods rather than 20 minutes of cardio. Sorry. I’m not that kind of woman, although I strive to be.” Yeah, ditto to that.

    I struggle with the very same, but the good thing is that we are both still young and it’s not too late to “take control” before its too far gone. All it takes is will-power and dedication…. which i dont have just YET but am working toward it. :-)

    # 4 November 2009
  • Tara (author) said:

    @Yakini - You know how they say you need to do something for a month before it becomes a habit? I tried that with exercising and I fell short way before my 30 days were up. :( So I don’t know how to make it work, other than chasing the kids. Blah. I just know I’ve got to get my eating habits under control, then maybe I won’t feel like I’m “too far gone” for exercising….

    # 4 November 2009
  • Execumama said:

    Great news, Tara! You are young and vibrant, so your body is still VERY forgiving (believe me, it is at your age!), so once you get in a regular workout routine, coupled with a hint of a great diet (not the deprivation kind, but the healthy overall habits kind), you will be saying bye-bye “arm spillage” in a month, tops! I bet it ain’t even all dat! :)

    # 4 November 2009
  • Tara (author) said:

    @Execumama - And you know, my diet isn’t that bad. Really. From 8 a.m. to about 8 p.m. I’m solid - lots of water, veggies in everything, salads, tiny portions for dinner, etc. But then I try to unwind and reach for the cupcakes and it’s OVER. *SIGH* But I worked out last night and felt good, so it’s all fabulous! :)

    # 4 November 2009
  • MrsDeveter said:

    That was PERFECT! Thank you so much for that morning chuckle. Honey as the mom of three (the youngest are 19 months) trust that I know exactly what you are talking about! I just put a tweet up recently “Is it ok to still have baby fat when your baby is almost 2″.

    Don’t worry though… you are young you’ll bounce back! Keep working out when you can it the pounds will drop. By the way you are gorgeous so don’t worry to much :-)

    # 4 November 2009
  • parenting BY dummies said:

    Well, then the fact that my shirt may have gotten sorta kinda a little bit stuck, well more like caught up on my back fat should probably make me throw this cookie in the trash (yes, I’m having a cookie) and hit the gym (or at least my living room floor) immediately. How come I’m still sitting here then?

    # 5 November 2009

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