It’s mostly financial.
I love my kids and wouldn’t ever want to go back to life before I had them, but when it comes to actually paying for these kids to live, it starts to weigh on me.
I’m not poor, and we’re not living paycheck-to-paycheck, but we’re not clearing much after bills. I usually have enough to buy a cute pair of flats at Target, or some shrimp at Sam’s Club if I really want to splurge.
Whenever it comes to the financial burden that comes with having kids, I start wishing I had waited before getting pregnant. While I started my career with a nice salary, that money would go a lot further if I wasn’t paying out the butt for daycare and other “baby bills.”
I sometimes wish I had that experience of being early in your career, making money, buying new clothes to wear to work, splurging on a trip if you feel the urge, spending your weekends going to brunch and sipping champagne with your waffles and bacon.
My life reflects none of that.
I don’t get to splurge. I pay bills.
I don’t go to Sunday brunch. I spend my Sunday mornings chasing after two kids who would rather fling oatmeal at each other than eat it.
It’s taking me so long to build a decent work wardrobe that I’ll probably be retired before I can look nice in the office five days a week.
But it’s cool. I know my life would be different if I didn’t have kids right now but it wouldn’t be as full. Or as lively. As noisy. As funny. As hectic.
Or as fulfilling.
I think this is something all parents wonder at some point, lol. All I can say is that the financial aspect is kinda like a double edged sword. I could say that things will get better as they get older, but the reality is, we never really stop paying for our kids, lol. There are all kinds of fees that come with school, not to mention paying for college… their first cars, insurance, blah blah blah. I guess the one thing to financially look forward to is the phase where they are old enough to get themselves a part time job to cover their wants while you and dad take care of the needs =)
I have to laugh at this, we always yearn for the other choice. I am not a young mommy – I am 40. I spent my 20’s doing the career thing, much of what you listed here, and I had an absolute blast. No regrets, except… I wish I had started this mommy journey as a younger woman. It would be so nice to have more energy to chase up and down with them…
@Cheryl – Then what’s my problem? I’m 23 and these buggers wear me out!
once you have your children, you’re richer than any millionaire on the planet. there will always be time to make more money but there will only be a certain amount of time to enjoy and watch your children grow. the upside to being a young mum – you’re done before everyone else. i’ll have an empty nest around 40. which they say is the new 20. you’ll get the best of both worlds, just not at the same time :o)
@Erykah – You always make my day when you leave me a comment!
I totally understand your point. I am glad that I am a young mom, because I’ll have an empty nest at 40 as well, which is when I predict the big bucks will be rolling in! LOL.
I love that you’re so open and honest on this blog. Thanks.
@Danielle – Yeah, I try to be honest on my blog. I want my kids to be able to read it one day and really know what their mother was like when they were younger. Wouldn’t that be cool? I would have loved to read my mom’s blog posts – well, maybe not, we drove her crazy! LOL.
Hey ms. Lady. I have been MIA for a minute. Girl I totally see where your coming from. I’m 24. And sometimes I wonder if i did it too early. My friends are taking trips enjoying life and I’m finishing up my degree, but then again. I wouldn’t change it b/c my son makes it all worth while. I also think of it as by 30 I will have had all my kids and my body back. LOL. When everone is now getting pregnant. I can be fully invested in my career in my 30s where I’d appreciate my job more. But trust u are not alone
Your blog is so funny. I WISH I had blogging when I first got married and birthed my two monsters (said with luv of course). Reading your posts often take me down memory lane.
Ms. Lady, believe me when I say, unless you are independently wealthy, you NEVER have enough money when it comes to your children. You will always imagine what you could do if not for the expenditures they generate. The more money you bring in, the more you can spend on them – and not just on the basic needs and frivolous toys that come with age. Education alone could go a LONG way in buying that custom car hubby salivates over or keep me in a monthly pair of Louboutins.
BTW – Have you yet realized that tuition for lower school can cost upwards of 30k/year, upper school 50k/year? And that is BEFORE college. I know, ridiculous, but I am in the NE and this is standard.
I praise Him everyday for my many blessings INCLUDING every time I sit to write a check for drum, trumpet, sports, school cafe, school store, tuition etc. Isn’t it wonderful that we can cheerfully pay for whatever our children need and still have $ left for Target, shrimp, and DSW?
True, it itches some – OK a LOT – but it is only for a season. . . . .
Cause, I told my creatures that we were cuttin both their freeloading butts off after grad school and hubby and I are moving to a one-bedroom condo so they can’t move the heck back in. LOL
I swear u are in my head sometimes. You know that I can totally relate to this. There’s no getting around it, I simply wish I waited before having Jaedyn. While I’ve done my best to manage and get by despite my limited income and he doesn’t need a thing, I still would have liked to have been better established. I would have liked to invest more time in going out, focusing on me, spending money on just myself, taking trips, and buying Coach purses like everyone else my age is doing. I just got his day care invoice yesterday and I’ve paid over 3 grand for not even 4 whole months of day care…and he’s been going part time!!! Ugh
I love my son to death though and wouldn’t trade him for anything or anyone in the world. Like a previous commenter said, even though it sucks to have to write the check for day care each week or purchase new winter clothes/diapers/etc., I’m grateful and blessed to be able to provide for him the way that I do. Even if it does suck and make my bank account look crappy LOL
@Courtney – I know we are always talking about how we wish we had more money! Ugh. But at least we are always able to pay our bills, right?
You stole the words right out my mouth!
I know what you are talking about! I wouldn’t change life with my kids, but when I do the bills I always catch myself thinking “if we didn’t have to pay daycare this month, the Amex would be paid off!” and so on. Oddly enough tonight as I was leaving the grocery store I saw the frito scoops on display. I like frito scoops with ranch dip. but i never buy it because it’s unhealthy and a waste of money (and I’d have to share with the kids). but i thought about if i didn’t have kids, i could buy junk, go home and sit on the couch, eating my junk and watching tv and relaxing off this stressful work week. instead, i went home with my salad stuff, made dinner, fed the kids, did the bath, and eventually got around to watching an episode of tv before bed.
so, yeah, i know what you’re talking about – it’s normal
@Erin – Yup – I think it’s the daycare bill, really, that sets me over the edge. I know it costs money to run a center but daycare is an expensive burden that I don’t think my childless friends really understand. When they tell me how broke they are, I want to ask them how many things they buy each month that would have to stay at the store all alone if half their paycheck went to daycare….I keep telling myself it won’t always be that expensive….maybe I’m kidding myself…