If it’s 8 p.m. and you’re at my house, then my kids are IN THE BED.
Absolutely no doubt about it.
I’ve gotten a reputation as somewhat of a bedtime control freak. My friends know my kids go to bed at 8 p.m. and if it’s after 7 they don’t even call or stop by. I get so many texts like, “I was in the neighborhood but it was 7:35 and I knew it was too late to be stopping by…”
My aunt from Texas came to visit me recently. It was the first time I had seen her in about six years. The clock struck 7 p.m. and everyone hopped up. “Okay, well, nice to see you again, I know your kids’ bedtime is coming up so….”
I started to protest. “No, it’s okay. I haven’t seen you all in a while so if you want to stay longer….”
“No, I heard about you,” my aunt said. “The kids go to bed at eight, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So we have to go.” And they left immediately.
I admit I can be a bit dramatic. I’m glancing at the clock every five minutes, and once it hits 7:30 I go into full-blown GET YOUR BUTTS IN THE BED mode.
I start clapping and singing, y’all.
“It’s (clap) bed (clap) time (clap)…I need to see some kids in their beds right now…” I sing as I chase them up the stairs. Sometimes my husband tag teams with me, but usually I just do it by myself because he moves entirely too slow doesn’t quite share the same enthusiasm for a quiet house at exactly 8 p.m.
I love my kids and occasionally they stay up to see the 8 o’clock hour but very rarely. My days are jam-packed and I try to make sure that the time that we’re both awake is when I’m focused on them, playing with them, reading to them, taking care of them. No e-mail, no texting, no Twitter or Facebook. Just one-on-one time with my two favorite little people.
But when bedtime approaches, the COUNTDOWN IS ON. With all my other obligations, I need that time to decompress, take a deep breath and switch into one of my many roles for the rest of the evening.
What about you? Are you super anal about bedtime? Or is it just me?
I sooo sympathize with you. I cath the same rap all the time. People think I’m a nap time and bed time nazi…lol….but you know what I agree with you. I run a preschool and daycare….from 5am to 9pm….and come 8pm even daycre kids are in bed…owww feels so good….lol its one of the feelings…a quiet peacefull house is beyond words to me come 8pm…lol…So, don’t feel bad, even my 10 yr old has to be in bed…reading or plaing or such…no one comes out after 8!!! I’m a stickler too…lol So no worries…us 8pm moms stick together…lol…I’m super anal about naps and bedtimes…my only moments of peace and time for me and work…and scrapbooking….lol….so have heart my freinds n family r the same…but sometimes even when family is here…they still go to bed…I’m ready for it….LMAO….and if their not they can read a book…lol…we shud start a anal bedtimes group…lol
@Lacey – You hit the nail on the head! Glad to see I have another anal mom amongst my readers!
I wrote a really long response to this post basically saying that my bedtime routine was pretty flexible for my 5 month old. And then she woke up, started crying, I went in, my computer shut down, I rocked her back to sleep, put her down, walked away, she woke up again, I went back, gave her the mom-stare, it didn’t work, she won, and I surrendered…
The comment was gone. Long story short: my bedtime routine still needs a bit of work.
~ humps
@humps – Little lady is only 5 months old!
Of course the bedtime routine isn’t concrete yet – she’s calling the shots! Luckily for me, my kids are little balls of energy that poop out around 7:30, allowing the all-so-strict 8 p.m. on the dot bedtime. 
I want to be like you Tara! I try to enforce an 8:30pm bedtime, but our schedule varies so it’s really difficult to get his entire bedtime routine down and have him in bed (and staying there) by 8:30pm every night. I’m working on it though. How do you get them to stay in bed? My son will get out of bed to use the potty, give us another hug/kiss goodnight, because he heard something, or for some other random reason just to get out of bed.
@Erica – Well, I plan on keeping my son (he’s one) in his crib for as long as I can, so that’s how I keep him in the bed. LOL. As for my daughter (she’s 3), I think she’s just tired. Either that or she just knows Mommy’s at her breaking point and I’m not to be disturbed. LOL. She doesn’t open the door once I close it, even though I sometimes find her passed out on the floor when I come back to check on her, so I know she gets out of the bed to play or read. I never really had to tell her not to come out of her room, so I’m not sure what I’ll do when she discovers that oh yeah – she can open the door herself! LOL. I plan on keeping her in the dark (no pun intended) about that for a while…
@Erica – OH! And she used to fight us a little bit on the bedtime thing more when she was an only child. Then once we had her brother, bedtime became a ritual. She realized that EVERYONE had to go to bed, not just her. Does that makes sense?
Well, I tend to make my kids go to bed depending on what time we have to wake up in the morning. Sun-Thur, they are in their rooms, in their PJs by 7 pm. They can play or read books until 8 pm, which is when I either read or sing them a song and pray with them. And then they lay in the bed talking until 8:30-9 pm. It’s hard getting them to fall asleep right away becasue they share a room at the moment. Fri and Sat, they are in bed by 8:30 pm because we wake up later when my son has no school.
My husband was once on the phone with his bro, and his brother heard me tell the kids to get back into bed. It was 8 pm, and his brother was like “Your kids go to bed this early? Dang y’all some mean parents! Ha-ha!” I’m like “What time do your kids go to bed Jase?” He’s like “10 or 10:30”. (And his kids go to school in the morning.) That’s late as hell to me. I NEED at least 2 hours of kid-free time. I like to take a bath, read or watch tv when they’re in the bed.
@CJ – I could never be one of those parents whose kids go to bed all late – I’d be cranky as heck! LOL. Kudos to you for having them share a room and having something resembling a bedtime routine! I was so nervous about the baby waking the toddler but in reality it didn’t turn out to be an issue. Let me ask – do you have one of each (boy/girl)? If so, how do you feel about them sharing a room when they get older? I have one of each and I kind of want them to share a room because they are basically in there to sleep, that’s it. Hmmm…I dunno.
Erica, it’s so hard to get them to stay in the bed–I know. (I have a 1 and 3 year old who share a room.) I just have to either keep repeating myself, or I have my husband be the bed time police, which seems to work better becasue he has more bass in his voice, but I know he isn’t always going to be available for bed time.
Usually if I turn out all the lights and electronics in the house they fall asleep faster and more peacefully. But I can’t always do that..
Lol… nothing wrong with having a set routine and sticking to it. If you go off course all hell will eventually break lose. Since I have a 1st grader, getting to bed, on time, during the week is vital. At my house, bedtime is 9pm. Then I can take a breather and relax, complete readings, catch my favorite tv shows in peace or whatever else the night hours may call for.
I admire the fact that you have that part all figured out. Its hard to stick to at times, but when you value that little bit of time between putting the kids to bed and putting yourself to sleep, you will find a way to get in the routine =)
i am SO GLAD i am not alone!!! i don’t have a song or rap, i sound more like a drill saergent…..a song would probably make it more fun for the kids. yes, family and friends are trained. we actually rarely answer the phone once we get home in the evening let alone at bed time. for all the bedtime/naptime czars out there: KEEP IT UP!!!
whew! 8 is the magic number!!! when the clock strikes 7:59, the twins are in bed and my oldest is in hers as well. i let the oldest watch tv for a while…i never wanted to put a tv in her room, but when we moved to our house, it was her first time being in a room alone and in a big-girl bed…so the tv helped her adjust without freaking out and howling all night. my husband goes and turns it off while im buried in something else tho. regardless, i do not LOOK at kids after 8 p.m.!!
i was really lucky, my baby slept thru the night from almost the beginning.i started to encounter naughty defiant behavior surrounding bedtime around 4-5 yrs old.Nipped that right in the bud. I told her every minute ur up past bedtime you’ll be going to be early tomorrow nite.didnt really sink in at first but by week’s end she knew the drill.i’ve always been a stickler for bedtime, because really that is the only time i have to myself.now that she is a tween, she stays up later and later.still have a bedtime and lights out in place, although as long as she in her room quiet that’s good enough.
Tara, I have a boy (3) and a girl (1). I only have them sharing a room because we have a 2 bedroom home (well, actually 3 bedrooms, but the upstairs bedroom is unfinished, and I don’t feel comfortable with a child on a different floor). If I could, they’d have their own rooms now. They get into trouble too much when sharing a room. Anyway, as for your question, I think it’s ok for them to share a room until the oldest is 5 or 6. After that, I want them to have separate rooms. That’s part of the reason we’re looking for another house.
Bedtime is 8:30 pm at my house. However the kids are usually in bed sometime between 8:30 and 9 PM. I enforce the bedtime because I know the little ones need their rest and plus they are cranky in the morning when they are tired.
On one hand, I hate that I only have a few hours in the evenings to spend with the kids before it’s bedtime. On the other hand, I am happy to have some quiet time at night.
@Ronnie – I am a LITTLE flexible with the bedtime because my daughter is a bookworm and is always, “One more story!” I plan to have it that way with my son as well. Like you, I know my kids get cranky if they don’t sleep enough so I figure I actually have their best interests at heart. LOL.
But also like you, I don’t like that I see them for MAYBE three hours at night. But keeping them up later is only a Band-Aid for that problem, so I try to live with it and make the most out of their waking hours. Consequently, weekends are HUGE!
I am definitely one of the friends she has put the fear into! This is one mama who does not play when it comes to bed time!!! Tonight, perfect example: I wanted to drop by for a bit to see her and the kids but my son and I took a late nap. Woke up and it was 6:45 so I went into a paniac. Didn’t bother to put any clothes on, just called to make sure it was okay for us to come by and went over in our PJs! It seemed like we weren’t there long but when she said it was 7:30, my heartbeat sped up and my mind went into “get out of their house ASAP” mode even though the kids were having fun playing together! I don’t even like to call past a certain time, that’s how big of a bed time nazi your favorite mommy blogger is! LOL
I’ve become way better than I used to be since we moved and Jaedyn got his own room. Before, we’d be up until 1-2 o’clock in the morning. Now I’ve realized the importance of me time, so we have somewhat of a schedule. I’m a bit more flexible though. Usually anytime between 8-9:30 will work for us. Of course by the end of the day I push more for the earlier time. All depends on how active he was during the day, how much he napped, whether he is cranky/acting out, etc. I’m sure I will become more rigid once I start work
@Courtney – You could have stayed! I was merely mentioning the time! LOL. I hate feeling like I’ve put the fear of God into people because I want my friends to always feel like they’re welcome. I do appreciate that you are sooo considerate and call first and everything, but usually it’s not a problem as long the clock reads 8 p.m. when the kids go to sleep! LOL.
CJ- Yeah, that’s pretty much how it is for me too (Daddy enforcing bedtime). Turning out all the lights seems to work too… except that I usually fall asleep as well when I do that. Pitiful, I know. LOL!
Tara – LOL! That’s great that it hasn’t occurred to her yet that she can open the door and come out! Hopefully by the time she realizes her power, she’ll actually want to go to sleep and not have any interest in coming out. I definitely see how “the more the merrier” tactic works (it was also easier for me to do things that I didn’t like when my brother had to do them as well).
Omg, I’m sooo anal about bedtime. And it’s so funny as I was reading this post (esp. the part about your aunt visiting) because that is so me. I have a reputation as well for being a stickler about bedtime – and by now folks know not to mess with me. lmao! I too have been told things like “I’m in the area but it’s 6:30 and I know Chase has to go to bed….” This is sometimes said wistfully…. and it is met with my stony face. DH is on the same page with me now, which is great! I believe in bedtimes whole-heartedly. And although Chase is only 10 months now he has had a bedtime routine since he was BORN!!!! That’s how my mom taught me – and I love her for it.
I have girlfriends with kids Chase’s age and a bit older…. and their kids are up with them at MIDNIGHT and beyond!!!! *shocked face* When we chat on the phone and exchange stories, I don’t judge them (out loud, lol). I actually feel sorry for them. They’ll be like, “Oh he/she isn’t tired, so I don’t lay her day. I only lay her down when she gets sleepy.” Umm, she was probably sleepy around 8 pm, but kids are masters at fighting sleep. If mom and dad let you stay up and play and watch TV til late, who wouldnt fight sleep and choose this more “fun” alternative? So essentially, they are being deprived of the sleep that they need, for their health and growth.
These parents actually think that, when their child hits some “magical” age (like 8 or something) that they are suddenly gonna start enforcing a schedule and a bedtime. Ummm, it doesnt work that way. Children need routines/limits/boundares. They appreciate you and love you for it. Well that’s how I feel anyway. *shrug*
Chase goes to bed at 7 pm, and after that it’s my time. Like you said, he gets my 110% before that. But the bedtime works for everyone, and I’m so grateful that we have this in our household.
I WAS anal about bedtime when my son was much younger (8pm). He’s 9 now, so I am not as rigorous with it. My mantra is this: If you can stay up late and still wake up on time then you’re going to have to manage that. I do occasionally push HARD for him to get in the bed on time (9pm), especially when I have homework or other pressing items to handle before I pass out for the night or when he has a big day ahead.