I’m going to talk about something I rarely ever discuss with folks: sex. More specifically, sex after the babies. 
Now, I ended up with two C-sections, but I do remember one of my biggest concerns was how sex was going to feel after I gave birth. Would it be dry? Would it hurt? Would it ever feel the same again?
My husband and I were so overwhelmed by our first daughter and so exhausted by the addition of our son, that both times we didn’t have sex for months.
5 ways to get the lovin’ flowing:
- Shower first. Or shower together. I tell you, after dealing with the yuckiness of motherhood for hours upon end, I look forward to a nice relaxing shower where I can breathe freely without a baby clinging to me. I had to use the shower time to transition from “SuperMom” to “SexySassyWife.” Use your favorite body wash or sugar scrub, put on a thin layer of your favorite body lotion, and let the fun begin. Sometimes it’s even sexier if you just throw on one of his shirts.
- Go out to dinner and sit on the same side. Hold hands with him on the ride home. Hell, drive separately and meet up at “your place.” (Single ladies, this means you too!)
- Just do it. Sometimes you have to just lay down and get going. Worrying about whether or not you’re in the mood is irrelevant. For that first time after the baby, you might have to just look at your man and say, “Come on, let’s go,” in the middle of a football game. (If you care, you can wait until halftime.)
- Get a good soundtrack going. Remember back in the day (I really sound old now) when you used to make your mixtapes? Go on iTunes or Windows Media and make a “Date Night” playlist. Include a song that always makes you think of him and one that makes him think of you. (Bonus points if it’s the same song!)
- Switch it up. Usually stay on the bed, missionary style, five minutes, then bed? Switch it up. Head to the kitchen, the living room floor, the shower. Anywhere that’s new and different for you.
What about you all? Did your sex drive return right away? How did you handle the whole “sex after babies” situation?
Oh lord. Girl, its been 5.5 years since my “sex after baby” period. I don’t remember how it all went down, lol. You gave some great tips though. I’m sure you have added the romance back into the lives of some new mommies =)
Sex life after a kid…..you mean to tell me there is such a thing????? Yeah….7 months post partum and still haven’t figured that one out yet. After taking care of my son all day by myself, the last thing I feel is sexy or in the mood, I’m just too exhausted. I don’t even feel as attractive anymore so that adds to it
Oh tha flo!
But I keep getting pregnant so I will get back to you on this one!
Ok getting back to you. If I can stop misplacing my birth control pack I do the shower thing and I love wearing his shirts!
Hmmm… that was a veeeeery slooooooow, arduous process. In his mind, it was supposed to happen the day the doctor said, “It’s been six weeks–you’re good.” In my mind, I had to FEEL like it. So I think getting my body back together–exercising, eating properly, getting good rest, helped a LOT. The better I felt about me, the sexier I felt, and the sexier I felt, the more he benefited!
@ Ms Bar B – Yeah I know Miss J is no longer a baby, but if you’re thinking about #2, this will come up again. Just sayin’.
@ Courtney – Yes, there is such a thing. Don’t worry though, your sex drive will come back (eventually).
@ Political Pete – You make me laugh. LOL.
@ Arlice – Girl, this is why my hubby and I didn’t have sex after the babies. I was like, “If THIS is what happens after you have the sex, you can just keep all this moaning and groaning to yourself.” LOL. I wasn’t having it!
@ Denene – You are so right! Once I started working out and feeling better, I did feel sexier and we were able to have a better, ahem, relationship. But all that “feeling good about myself” led to baby #2…Hmm…
Nice blog here! Also your website loads up fast! What web host are you using?
Can I get your affiliate link to your host?
I wish my website loaded up as fast as yours lol
Many thanks for this web page, can happily say we now have a
steam shower of our own and we like it so much