Being a young mom can be sooo lonely. Once you have kids, you don’t really have much in common with the carefree, single chicks anymore. Your days no longer revolve around you and what you want to do. Your thoughts are consumed by what your child is feeling. You’re only as happy as they are.
But you don’t entirely relate to the older moms, because, well, they’re older. They remember life without the internet (can you imagine?), cell phones, and iPods. Facebook isn’t part of their daily routine, either.
So what to do?
I’ve been spending more time with the few moms I know who are my age. Contrary to what you hear and see, there aren’t too many of us. Throw in finding a friend who’s married, too? Oh, forget about it. It’s like the guys these days aren’t willing to step up to the challenge of being a man and taking care of their responsibilities. But that’s a whoooole ‘nother post right there, so I’ll just leave it alone.
So tell me, young moms, where do you fit in? Do you see yourself making friends with older moms, or are you hanging out with your peers, whether childless or not?
Oh man, do I struggle with this! I have made most of my mommy friends online, which I know, isn’t the same. But like you said, they are harder to find than you think! Also? Since I am a Christian, I’ve found it hard to make friends with the ones I do find because our life styles and values still drastically differ. It’s tough.
I found a great place to meet young mommies are mommy groups, that has helped a little bit. While there are more older moms, I’ve found other young moms eager to make friends just like me.
Oh, I hear you! Finding friends as an adult is NEVER easy, but throw in a kid or two and you can forget interacting with humans, period. If you don’t put any effort into it, that is. I’ll tell you this much: When I take time for JUST ME, I usually find like-minded women doing what I love to do. My African dance class is definitely one of those places where I met a wonderful set of sisterfriends who, though we don’t see each other quite enough, are always there when I need them for good conversation, an occasional glass of wine, and plenty of hugs when any of us needs them. Find something you love, leave the babies with the hubs and scout it out for some buddies…
Yep, its hard to make that connection with peers who do not have children and also with other mothers who’s motherhood is a different reality than yours. BUT, it is possible. Folks like you/us are out there. I think Denene is right, there are bound to be other moms in places that we love to be in doing the things that we love to do. Even if they aren’t moms, they could prove to make awesome friends.
You warned me that friends change once you had a baby and it’s not that I didn’t take you seriously….it’s just that I didn’t expect them to change the way they did…or as many of them. Friends I’ve had for years I thought I never had to worry about changing, did. People I just knew would always be there and have my back, weren’t. It’s taken me awhile to get used to it. It hit me kind of hard at first.
Since most of my friends are young, they are into young things. They still have extra time, money, and energy to go out drinking, partying, etc. I don’t. If I have a day off, I don’t want to spend it off/out. I want to (have to) spend it catching up on house work, spending quality time with my baby, taking a breather for me. Your priorities change so much and so do the things you once had in common.
So once I do have time, I reach out to my other mommy friends. We can talk about the kids, vent, stuff like that and they can understand where I’m coming from and vise versa