OPEN THREAD: Do You Need Your Partner To Show Their Love For You On Facebook?


Yesterday was Wednesday and as such, folks were posting their #WCW (Woman Crush Wednesdays) photos. Three of my newly married friends got a shout out from their new husbands, with each saying something sweet like, “The only #WCW I need in my life. She is indeed a dream come true.”

So lovely, right?

So why, if I’m completely honest, was I a little jealous?

My husband does not use social media like most 30somethings do. He’s busy, he says. He will hop online to check out the Lakers’ score or see just how bad Kobe’s ankle is and maybe comment on a photo or two. He is the dude that had the same profile photo for three years in a row.

Most of my waking moments are spent in front of the computer. (Sad, but true.) As a digital entrepreneur, my life is intricately connected to what happens online. It is the main way I communicate with friends and my online life is pretty much a digital scrapbook of my most important moments (and stuff I feel like my friends should know). So I find it natural to occasionally shout out my husband for things he does. I can get mushy, but that’s just my personality. My husband on the other hand is a less sensitive guy. Whether I post something about him on Facebook or not, he doesn’t feel any differently.

But for more than a handful of woman I know, getting a shout out from their boo can lift their spirits. One of my friends told me last week that one of the main ways she likes to feel special and appreciated was for her husband to dedicate a Facebook post to her “on a non-special day.”

“So you mean not like on an anniversary or your birthday?” I asked.

“Exactly. It’s kind of like sending flowers to the office. Everyone knows your boo sent them and everyone gets to go, ‘Aw, how cute!’ But unlike flowers or a card, Facebook is free. See, I’m helping him out!”

Another friend told me she finds it weird when couples never ever mention each other on social media.

“I have this one friend,” she said, “who got married in 2012. She must post like 10 times a day but she never mentions her husband. Like….never. Isn’t that weird? I mean, you live with this person. Y’all have a kid together. You post about the baby all the time but never your husband. Is that some passive way to keep folks out your business?”

Where do you fall in this debate? Do you think it’s cool for couples to share their love online or is that something they should keep to themselves?


  1. Okay this is my life! Gartrell doesn’t use his facebook at all to shout me out! LOL! He’ll like my status updates and pics but as far as updating a status about us, Uhhhh no. Hahahaha! But it’s perfectly okay because we know they love us to the ends of the Earth. I never get envious of those other women because I know what kind of man I have. I wouldn’t trade him for the world!

  2. My husband and I are very close and spend a lot of time together but we don’t bother mentioning one another on facebook. And to be honest I don’t post a whole lot about him or our daughter on facebook or any of my other social media sites or blog. Obviously i love them like crazy but I feel sharing their lives online is an invasion of privacy. I will openly share mine, to an extent, but I don’t want to put them in a spotlight they don’t care for.

  3. Ok so l’m single & have thought abt this question too. When l do date, l don’t feel the need to post about my Boo, but l may mention something every blue moon. I don’t want us to get caught up in social media that we forget the importance of face-to-face communication. I know friends that post abt their significant other, but some of them do it for show. The reality is when one is in a relationship or married we must take into account how much we share w/ the world. I think it’s my responsibility to share what l feel the world neds to know, bu still leave pieces of my private life for me. I’m already an open book.

  4. I used to want my husband to show love for me on facebook, but he shows it in person so I’m happy. He may not make statuses about me often, but he has a photo of me as his cover photo lol :-)

  5. My husband is great about complimenting me and giving me shout outs on my birthday, our anniversary and just because. I, on the other hand, am not so good about doing the same. He’s great, I love him very much and all that, but it doesn’t feel like my authentic self to post something like that on Facebook. It’s more authentic when he does it because he’s one of those openly affectionate people. I don’t know if that makes me a bad person.