The 5 Books That Most Definitely Changed My Life For The Better

1. All About Love by Susan L. Taylor

I grew up reading Susan L. Taylor’s “In the Spirit” column at the back of my parents’ Essence magazine. I was too young to really understand her messages of self-love and persistence but my parents let me read it anyway, hoping I could come back to it when I was older. And I did. I bought her book last year, a collection of the essays she shared with readers every month and have been slowly devouring each chapter like a fine wine. It’s allowed me to dig deep in my womanhood and reflect on all that I’ve accomplished. It’s a 212-page pep talk, the type of book you need to read each morning before you start your day.

2. Babyproofing Your Marriage by Stacie Cockrell, Cathy O’Neill, and Julia Stone

The first two years of motherhood were murder on my marriage. I was filled with so much resentment about how much my life had changed and how, by having my two babies so close together, I didn’t get my body back to myself for three years. Somebody was either kicking me from the inside or attached to my nipple once they got out. I needed my space, but couldn’t seem to find it. So I took my anger out on my husband, who had no clue what was wrong with me. It wasn’t until I got my hands on a copy of Babyproofing Your Marriage that I realized I was not special. There were many women out there who felt just like I did. It was a relief, to know that I wasn’t crazy and there wasn’t anything wrong with my marriage that time and understanding couldn’t fix.

3. 5 Love languages by Dr. Gary Chapman

Getting married in your early 20s is no easy task. You’re learning about your self and where you fit into the world, while also nurturing a relationship that makes you feel happy and complete. At times, though, (and I’m sure this is true for any married couple) you’re wondering why marriage isn’t working as easy as you’d like. Dr. Chapman’s book cuts through all the noise and presents a simple premise: find the way your spouse prefers to be loved and then do that. I took the 5 love languages quiz and discovered my husband prefers that I show my love through actions, not words, whereas I am a mixture of the two.  Since we’ve read the book, our love life has been a million times more lovely.

4. Disappearing Acts by Terry McMillan

Long before Kerry Washington set TV ablaze with her portrayal of White House fixer Olivia Pope, there was Terry McMillan’s Disappearing Acts. This was a juicy read about incompatible love, unplanned pregnancy, abortion, friendship, ego, unemployment and abuse. It was one of the first books I ever read that showcased the ups and downs of love. How hard you can fight to save a relationship and in the end it’s still not good enough. I read this book long before I met my husband, but from time to time, in the back of my mind, I would think about Franklin and Zora and their quest for happiness. Love ain’t perfect. But it’s raw. 

5. Execumama: A Pocket Guide for the Twenty-something Mommy on the Move by Akilah S. Richards

Akilah’s book has shaped the entire way I approach my life as a young mother. This was her first book and she has gone on to write incredible manifestos on what it means to embrace your entire womanhood in a way that doesn’t force you to choose or think about whether you can “have it all.” That type of question is a no-brainer and Akilah helped me see that I do not have to segment who I am. I am me, warts and all. I am a mother. I am a wife. I am a businesswoman and all those different facets of my life can co-exist.