Someone recently asked me to describe myself in one word. I initially focused on my weaknesses: insecure, anxious, indecisive. Then I got to thinking about what has enabled me to conquer various obstacles in my life, what has kept me going. Then, it was clear.
I am resilient.
When I was pregnant eight years ago, I was sure there was no way I could mother a child. When she was born and I held those six pounds of deliciousness in my arms, I was sure I was going to mess up her future. And when her father and I separated six years ago, I was sure there was no way I could adequately parent her on my own.
Yet – here I am. Eight years later with a sparkling daughter, a warm home, and a heart full of love.
Parenting young can come with extreme doubt and insecurity – especially if you don’t have a stable support system surrounding you. I know from my experiences I’ve felt like I haven’t been able to vocalize some of those insecurities and have been afraid to ask for help. Someone once told me, “You made your bed, now lie in it,” insinuating that becoming pregnant as a teenager meant I shouldn’t have access to the same support and understanding as non-teenage parents. Quieting those who doubt you while you doubt yourself is a challenge and one that can be overcome with time and resilience.
Being resilient has allowed me to grow and parent my daughter to the best of my abilities – allowing myself to make mistakes. Without that inner strength I would have been consumed by my struggles a long time ago. Resilience requires a certain kind of elasticity and toughness that you may not initially see, but others do. It will enable you to advocate for your family and secure the support you need to succeed. It has given me strength in times of doubt – securing a job, juggling motherhood and work, and coparenting.
So, if you could describe yourself and your experiences in one word, what would you choose?
I am Jennice and I am…determined!