Recently I’ve been feeling this heaviness that my dreams are stuck in neutral. For a long time I was feeling like yes, I’m closer to my dreams and goals for myself. But lately, with a bit of turmoil in my business, I’ve been feeling like I’m taking too long to accomplish what I really want to accomplish. That, if I don’t hurry up, someone else will swoop in and take my dream and make it their own.
I’m busy raising kids.
Trying to graduate.
Nurturing my marriage and constantly fighting off the forces that would like to see it fail.
Building my business.
Keeping the lights on.
Being a good daughter, sister and friend.
Making my health a priority and showing stress the exit door.
But I have to take a deep breath and remind myself that I’m only 26. In today’s culture, that feels kind of ancient (how old was Zuckerberg when he created TheFacebook?) but in reality, I’ve still got time for my dream. Right now I need to be enjoying the progress and savoring the ride. I’ve been writing much more often and I feel myself getting better. I’m learning how to enjoy in-person networking and I no longer stand at the edge of the room, waiting for someone to approach me. I’m learning how to balance working insane hours, being a present parent and having a still kinda-newbie marriage.
There is still time for my dream.
Some days I feel bored with my life, with the monotony of motherhood. The kids always need something and it seems they always need it from me, not the other perfectly capable adult in the household (aka Daddy). I have a million and one goals for myself and when am I going to have time to pursue them if I’m constantly “on call”?
But then the other day I tried to pick up my five-year-old and I couldn’t. Like, I struggled to get her off the ground. For the first time ever, I couldn’t pick her up with ease. And it freaked me out because it finally dawned on me that yes, these kids are growing. Something about not being able to pick up your kid (and realistically, I shouldn’t, ’cause she’s practically my height) makes the future seem so much closer.
All of a sudden I could see my daughter learning to drive and picking out colleges and decorating her dorm room. I could see my son smiling at me as he crossed the stage with his diploma. All of those images that I felt were an eternity away, well, they suddenly seemed like they are right around the corner.
I realized quickly that motherhood will not be the primary focus of my days forever. There will come a day when I wake up and do what *I* would like do that day. I won’t have children to wake or children to put to sleep. I won’t have to factor in my kids’ taste preferences when I’m making dinner. I won’t have to clean up Legos off the floor.
I still have time for my dream.
I write this to say that YOU still have time for your dream. Hold on tight to it. Keep it at the forefront of your mind. Find little ways to get started. Keep pushing.
You still have time for your dream.