by Robyn Carson
If someone would have told me that I’d be having another baby when I had children who were 7 and 11 AND that I’d be doing it after I already turned 30, I would have called them a liar to their face.
I became a mom at 20 and had decided that my baby making days would be through by age 28. Well let’s just say that we can plan all we want, but God is the ultimate planner!
All of our kids are 4 years apart, so when that 4th year rolled around again and my husband and I had no plans of having a third child, I kind of settled into the fact that my two kids (3 including my step-son) were all we’d ever have, and I was okay with that. I had no problem finding a sitter and I was able to get in some occasional “me time” because they were able to function without being by my side every minute of every day. I started thinking about the future! When they were 16 and 20 I’d still be a tender and vibrant 40 years old. No more babies sounded like a good plan!
Years passed and it seemed like a baby frenzy was going on around me. Every time I got baby news I just happy it wasn’t me. So you can imagine my surprise when I came down with a case of the “mysteriously missing period”!! Ultimately I think every child is a blessing, so I was never upset, but why now when so much was going on. My 7 year old was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes just as I realized I was going to be a mom again. She spent several days in the hospital and we had to learn the ends and outs of how to care for her to keep her at her healthiest. It was tough for all of us.
My baby cut-off age had come and gone. I was going to be 32 when the baby was born—what about my body! I know it may seem selfish, but it was real. After two kids I was still able to wear a size 4/6, but what about after this baby?
Life was hectic. I never even took a pregnancy test. I just scheduled my first prenatal visit and would let them confirm what I already knew when I got there. I had so much more on my plate this time. I was working full-time and still having to make sure the other kids were cared for, especially my daughter. I was just plain tired.
As time moved closer to my due date I anxiously awaited the arrival of my baby girl. I was looking forward to meeting her, but at the same time I knew that life was about to change once again. My labor was the most painful of the 3, but I welcomed this new life into the world after hours of hard labor and no pain medication. She was beautiful, and upon sight I fell instantly in love again. This child is simply amazing and I am in awe of everything she does. I ooh and ah at every noise she makes, every tooth she gets, and every new thing she does. I am so grateful to have her in my life and I wouldn’t trade her for the world. Honestly, I feel like a better parent at 32. I have more wisdom and experience and much more patience.. Yes I’ll be a little older before the house is empty, and I have to forgo time out with the hubby and friends right now, but in due time I’ll get back to all that. This whole experience is just a testament to my strength as a woman and a mother. I started all over again but I wouldn’t change it for the world!! And guess what, even after 30 and 3 kids I can still wear my size 4!!!
Robyn Carson is a married mother of three. She’s a stay-at-home mom who holds both a bachelor’s and Master’s in social work ad is a trained doula. She loves inspiring other women and shares her views at www.liveloveshine.blogspot.com.