My friend Arlice has dispensed mucho wisdom to me over the few years we’ve known each other. As a chic mommy of four (whose adoration of “life’s little luxuries” still makes me smile), she understands that Mama need to unwind. Regularly.
For a long time, I didn’t understand that. I always need to be doing something – writing a blog post, washing some clothes, grocery shopping, studying, cleaning up the living room, pitching a magazine for a story, working on my book (grrr), playing with the kids – SOMETHING.
I would work myself into a frenzy and then every three months or so I’d snap and need to spend the evening in my bedroom because I’d had it up to HERE with everything in my life. I was overworked and under…funned? I don’t know what the word is but the fun was missing.
More to the point, focus on ME was missing. I love my kids and I love my husband but if I have learned nothing else in 2010 it’s that even they want me to take time for myself.
Case in point – throughout 2010 I’d meet Arlice at the local bookstore, for a “writer mama” chat. I looked forward to these meet-ups because 1) it’s nice to get out the house 2) I rarely get to talk out loud about my dreams, to someone who wants the same things I do.
As I was leaving one day, my daughter asked where I was going.
“I’m going to the bookstore,” I said as I pulled on my coat. “Mommy’s going to meet her friend and talk for a little bit.”
My daughter looked thoughtfully at me. “Well, that’s good then. Have fun with your friend!” With that, she hugged my knees and ran upstairs to go to bed.
I stood there shocked. She got it. At 4 years old, she got it. She understood what “me time” was and why Mommy was taking it.
So in 2011? I’m expecting more of the same for myself.
I push myself incredibly hard and I will be successful (there is no other choice, really) but I need some breathing room. Some downtime. Some “me time.”
Damn it, I’ve earned it.
Ladies, share your goal(s) for 2011 with me. Let’s hear it!
I love love love that you’ve been able to see and understand this. It is crucial to being the best mom and wife. Its something I have yet to master, but confident I will master it sooner than later. And yes, you’ve earned it.
My goal for 2011…I don’t like resolutions. But, I will say that I have struggled alot with my uncontrolled emotions. I can be very flippant, and I always end up regretting my outburts. So my biggest goal for 2011 is to gain control of my emotions, and write more as a means to help understand myself more.
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Love this post! 😉
It’s funny you talk about this today, because I recently wondered if my mandatory “me” time was selfish. Then just like the bride at the end of the movie “Coming to America,” I said naaaaaaaaah!
WOW!! What I needed for the last day of the year. I really need to work on taking time for my hubby! I overload my plate and forget about our time.
This is a great post! I have just learned the same thing recently because I was just doing toooo much! Now, I take 20 minutes for myself daily and it does wonders to refresh my mind.
Sometimes it is so easy to forget that you need one of life’s most basic things (fun, and alone time).
My goals for 2011 are to put God first, and to take control over the things that are within my control. 2010 wasn’t a bad year, but there were too many things that I allowed to just spin out of control (finances, work, housework).
@Mrs. CJ – I’m realizing now that I really do need alone time. Time to be alone with my thoughts and really get to the bottom of what makes me…me. I need to do more self-reflection, but with such a hectic schedule, I rarely get a chance to sit still.
I’ve been saying that I’ve needed to do this for the longest. I had even reached the point where I had lost who I was as an individual while doing what I do everyday: being a mother, being a full-time student, and being a full-time worker. It really began to depress me until I realize that I had the power to change things, and that’s exactly what I did and what I will continue to do.
I am obligated to be a mother. I am obligated to be a worker to provide for my family. I am obligated to be a student to better my life as well as those that depend on me. But, I’m also obligated to be.. Me.
@Carla – Exactly. I give my all to everyone but me and I need to make sure I come first on my list. That means taking my sweet time in the shower, eating my dinner leisurely, and having 20 minutes a night to just…breathe.
I’m not making any new years resolutions. Instead I am relearning how to prioritize my life and focus on the things that matter. I take on too much and I have finally realized that I cannot be superwoman. I am also promising to lock the bathroom door. LOL. My son and my cat need to learn that mommy needs some privacy and “me” time.
I’m going to get less wound up about things, react less…negatively..about things that don’t go my way. I’m going to take more me time too, to unwind and prevent all that negativity from happening. WE’RE going to go on more outings as a family, Sunday breakfasts etc etc.
😀
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