Tales from a work-at-home mom

by Chelsea Kyle

I work – tutor – anywhere from three to eight hours per day, six or seven days per week. But that’s just the fulfillment of a promise, the interactive part of my job. Every time I get a “spare” moment, I have to send payment reminders, schedule clients, create marketing materials, update contracts, advise parents, and search for new business.

All of this must come second to my most important job: that of (single) Mom. I am not lying when I tell people that I feel lucky to be able to work from home; the last thing I want to do is get up every morning and go to the same place at the same time and do the same thing, for someone else.

I enjoy sleeping in and hanging out in my pajamas and playing with my son for most of the morning. Starting work during the after-school hours has plenty of advantages. I also love seeing different people, talking to students of all ages, and watching them navigate academic and social challenges. Best of all, I have the autonomy to apply my 10 years of experience by using the methods I have developed, not the methods of a tutoring center or school.

What most people don’t understand about my job, though, are the same things they don’t understand about life as a stay-at-home mom. The undertone of every conversation about my work is the age-old question we all dread: “What do you do all day?” Combine self-employment and staying at home with your kid, and you’ll endure the ultimate in disrespect from people who have traditional definitions of work.

It’s hard to explain to clients just how not okay it is for them to cancel last-minute when I have spent all week trying to find a babysitter for their time slot. When I don’t have a babysitter, it’s hard to explain to my son (who’s 2) why he needs to be quiet because Mommy has to work, because we need money to eat, etc. It’s hardest to explain to the court system that my job is legitimate, although it doesn’t fit within their standard definition of the full-time-job-and-daycare family.

Since high school, I have been fortunate enough to have capitalized on a skill that affords me control over my time. The seasonal nature of my work can make my life feel unbalanced during busy weeks, but the rushes lead to stretches of days when I have paid my bills and I have nothing else to do but play water balloons and read books with my baby. Just when I start to think that the frustrations outweigh the benefits, I get a few new clients and a new work cycle begins.

Even if I had the luxury of not working, I would keep it up for the same reason that full-time or part-time working mothers often want to continue; it feels good to earn my own money and be able to care for my child instead of having to ask for help.  Ultimately, it is a blessing to work from home.

Pretty soon, my son will be in school and I may make a different decision about how to earn my income. For now, I will deal with sometimes working ‘round the clock, sometimes tutoring with a chatty child on my lap, sometimes agreeing to work on my only day off. Only other moms would understand why.

For more (really good) essays from Chelsea, visit her blog at 20somethingmom.com.