My two sisters are 21 and 19, respectively. They have boyfriends. They have questions about guys.
You know who they talk to when they have issues? Go ahead and guess.
Their wonderful big sister who not only snagged a good dude, but married him at 21? Nope.
They talk to each other. The blind leading the blind.
“Why didn’t you call about XYZ?” I ask time after time.
My sisters sigh.
“Because you are not a ‘sister’ anymore,” they tell me. “You are a mom now.”
Ugh. So now they feel like they can’t come to me because I look at things with a mom lens. You know how it is.
When you’re watching the news and you hear a story about a tragedy involving a little kid and immediately you put yourself in the shoes of the mom. “I can’t even imagine what I would do if that was me,” you say to yourself softly.
When you walk through the mall and someone calls out, “Mom!” you turn and look even though you know you left your kids at home. You’re a mom and it doesn’t shut off. Not ever.
So when my sisters tell me that I “sound like a mom,” I take it as a compliment. Being a mom has changed how I see things. I used to fight it and say, “No, no, no! I’m still me!” But I’m not. I’m different now. I’ve changed. And I’m okay with that.
How have you changed since having kids? Do you have a “mom” mentality or are you still the same person you were before you had kids?
Well I know all about this being the well seasoned momma that I am. I do get passed by at times because I always think with my mom cap 😉
@Sheliza – You can never really take the mom cap off, can you?
lol, i definitely know what you mean.
im pretty sure i was in “mom” mode way before my son came, and that’s a result of having 2 younger sisters who are significantly younger, and also from being in the field of work that i am (psychologist). so i take it as a compliment to be told that i “sound/act” like a mom.
now, mind you, when i’m told that i “dress” or “look” like a mom… that’s when i begin to raise my eyebrows! not sure how nice that’s intended to be. lmao!
I’m the same sassy feisty person I was before I had my daughter. But now I’m even more sassy even more feisty. Alot of my friends dont have children and say that I act like a Mom even when Im not with my daughter. I’ll be the one to make sure everyone has their phones and bags and that their hair is in place. It comes as second nature to me, and I love that I’m able to help out and be supportive.
@Alexandra – Yeah, I’m the mom of the bunch. Always pulling baby wipes out my purse if someone needs something to wipe their hands with, I’m usually the one with extra whatever (lotion, hand sanitizer, etc.), and I get worried when people are late coming over.
Oh, yeah, I’ve definitely changed. I’ve pretty much got the mom mentality all the time. I turn my head when I hear a child cry or call “mama”, I worry about anything and everything, when friends or family members have a long-ish drive (say, to Chicago) I make them promise to call me to let me know they safely arrived…I’m the one at the end of the semester donut party for biology class who pulls out a pack of wipes from her purse and hands them out…and to be honest, I really can’t stand people my age, former friends, who can’t grow up and be responsible. Even if they don’t have kids. Their behavior really annoys me, and sometimes even sickens me. So, yeah, lots of changes here.
LOL at all of these comments.
@Tara: I do the same thing! Just Sunday, we were having a family gathering over my house and my in-laws called to tell me they were on their way, but after an hour passed, I was phoning them to see if they were okay.
I have always been in “mom” mode before I had my daughter. I have a younger sister and my mom didn’t get home from work until 6 in the evening, so I was the cook and I helped with homework. I still take on that role today with my sister…”have you written that paper, yet?, I think you shouldn’t date him, he has too much baggae, Be more wiser when you choose your friends, etc” My sister hates it and she never asks me anything, but I give my opinion.
I’ve just started reading your blog and really love it.
I definitely am a mom now. Sometimes the things that come out of my mouth scare me. Like my friends and I could be going out to lunch and I’ll be like you may want to grab a coat it’s kind of chilly or maybe they will tell me something they plan on doing and I’ll be like maybe that isn’t the best idea. Not to mention my purse is filled with everything from kleenex, to wipes, stain remover, baggies, hand sanitizer, a little first aid bag. I also have some need to bake and craft now I don’t know why. I haven’t liked that since I was 10. So even though my best friend refers to me as old lady I wouldn’t change a thing.
WOW … I wonder if I havent matured yet or if our family bond is just like that … although I am a mom my siblings always ask me about everything … I have 7 sisters and 5 brothers (some full some half but raised as a solid unit of 1) and Im the 2nd oldest and my sisblings boys and girls have always and still ask me for advice about everything. We range from 30 to 8… I guess to the fact that my siblings have always called me the “mom” of the bunch since we were young when I really became a mom their view just didnt change any if anything they are mad that I dont spoil them in life as much now that I have one at home to take care of 24/7 …. LOL!