I do NOT, I repeat, do NOT want to be a frumpy mom. I just…won’t.
I’ve declared this summer as the Summer of Sexy. Not “Cute,” not “Pretty,” but Sexy. I’m kicking the F.R.U.M.P to the curb.
How do you know if you’ve stuck (or headed toward) Frumpyville? Break it down:
F – Frustrating. When it’s frustrating to get dressed, it’s time to stop and take a breath.
R – Repeating outfits. When you’ve only got two or three “good” outfits and they are really, um, not that good, it’s time to reevaluate.
U – Ugly. Your clothes are ugly and you know it.
M – Messy. Are your clothes wrinkled? Is there a stain on your favorite shirt but you wear it anyway?
P – Personality. Do you not feel like “you” when you get dressed in the morning?
I know I’ve found myself in at least one of these patterns (particularly the last one) for the past couple of years. Fashion just wasn’t high on my priority list. Money was tight, and even if I have a couple of bucks left over, I usually end up buying something for the house or the kids. I spent a good chunk of the past years raising kids and putting them first.
But now my youngest is turning two and so I think it is the perfect time to step my game up. So how am I going to kick off my Summer of Sexy and how can you?
1. If you don’t feel sexy, fake it. No matter how frumpy the mom, there has got be ONE item in your closet that makes you feel hot. Find it and wear it as much as you can.
2. Find another mom who is allergic to frump and make it a point to hang out with her. When you hang with a mom who knows how to keep everything moving and still make time for herself, it rubs off. It makes you want to do better, to look better.
3. Purge, purge, purge. Go through your wardrobe and toss everything that doesn’t fit right, is stained, has a hole, is too old, is cheap-looking and not in good condition, etc. Put it in a separate box. Get it out of your wardrobe. Only wear what REALLY works.
4. Be picky. If you’re like me, you probably like finding bargains. I like bargains too much, however, because if I find a cute shirt on sale for $4, I will buy it, no matter how ill-fitting it is. This.has.to.stop. Try on everything you buy and if it doesn’t fit don’t buy it. This means you’ll have to stop shopping online, unless you are EXTREMELY familiar with their sizing. Only buy clothes that make you feel fabulous, not just because you got it for a steal.
So these are my tips, ladies. What are yours? How do you keep it sexy while being a mom?
Great advice, Tara! If I may shamelessly plug my store for a minute, I’d like to add:
1. If you are a plus size, shop at Ashley Stewart! We carry sizes 12 – 26 in stores and extended sizes online. We have everything from casual to career. From the bedroom to the boardroom. Seriously, I love this store! (And not just because I work there :] ) check us out online http://www.ashleystewart.com
2. When you go shopping, get a second (or even third) opinion. Everything aint for everybody. Just because it looks good on the mannequinn doesn’t always mean it will look good on an actual person.
3. Treat yourself sometimes. We as mothers work hard and deserve nice things. Its ok to buy something a little out of your price range every now and then. You do an awesome job as a mom and you are worth it.
4. Buy some sexy lingerie (even if you may not have anyone to wear it for.) I feel sexy on the outside when I’m wearing something sexy underneath 😉
5. Compliment yourself. Check yourself out in the mirror and focus only on the positives. Like Madea said, “Smile at yourself sometimes. Ting!”
You have once again gotten into my head. I was complaining to my sister only yesterday that I have had it, I am getting rid of all of the ugly, maternity, ill fitting, old ladylike clothes in my closet! I went thru my closet and got rid of anything and everything that does not make me feel beautiful. Period. I love the Golden Girls but I HAVE to stop dressing like them. Of course, now my closet is 90% empty, but everything in there, I want to keep. Now the shopping begins… (ps. if you know of any bargain spots I should hit, please get with it)
MY TIP _ In my single days, I used to regularly get my clothes altered to fit. A nip here or hem there does make the difference. I am tall, but off the rack still does not work for me.
I have this one pair of jeans that make my butt look AWESOME. I like to rock them on days when I know I’m going out but I need to buy like 3 more pairs of them so I can look fab all the time. I also have figured out how to rock the breastfeeding clevege. Nothing overly revealing but a comfortable nursing bra that actually looks pretty makes all the difference.
I was having the same issue, but I just looked at myself in the mirror’ and said “you do everything for everybody, it’s time to do something for yourself”. I made it a priority, to buy something for myself, every time I get paid. I’ve been able to find great fitting and reasonably priced items @ H+M. I also use lay-a-way to my advantage at stores like T.J. Maxx, and Marshalls. They have great designer items for discounted prices.
I also went to the MAC store and learned how to do a easy five minute face, so even me the multitasking mom, can look fresh and polished. These are small things that make a world of difference. It’s not the easiest thing to do, but we as Mothers have to remember, we are Super Women, and we must spoil ourselves sometimes. And not feel bad about it!!!!!
Great post Tara! I have definitely fallen into the frump pattern from time to time, especially now that I am home everyday it is hard for me to find reasons to event want to look cute. The bottom line is though that if I don’t look good I don’t feel sexy and it affects how I feel about myself.
To add to your list I have a couple of things that I make a point to do every day regardless of whether I’m leaving the house or not.
1)I wake up and give myself enough time before the kids get up to get myself completely dressed. By completely dressed I mean I do my hair, put on earrings, put on my clothes and shoes, and usually some lip gloss so that if I do need to leave the house I’m ready and not just throwing something on.
2) I try to pick out what I’m going to wear the night before. That gives me a chance to iron if I need to and to be able to look at the outfit and decide whether its ugly or not. In the morning if I’m scrambling I’ll just put on anything.
3) When my husband and I go out I turn the sexy all the way up. Stilettos, makeup, everything. It makes me feel good to be able to walk around with him as his “hot” wife. I don’t care what anyone says motherhood does not equal matronly. I would rather wear it now while I can than be 60 years old wishing that I had.
Ok…confession time…my name is Katie…and I’m a frumpy mom…
I generally wear a Tshirt and jeans every day, with some tennis shoes I bought two years ago for $8 that are falling apart. And its not that I refuse to dress nice, but every time I go to shop, I can never find anything that looks good on me. I have a hate for my body shape, and every time I try on something I hate it. Every once in a great while I’ll find one great top, and maybe a pair of jeans, but most of my clothes are years old, back from high school, or oversized tshirts that I drown in. I wish I had a friend to go shopping with who is actually fashion conscious, to help me out of my problems…because I seriously hate shopping. So the evil cycle of frumpyness continues…
I’m so like you too. i’m going to do the same thing this summer.
Lol, f.r.u.m.p! Hmmm well I think all women go through this phase. I think the most important thing is to stay true to you. Some women I have seen were trying so hard to NOT be frumpy that they looked completely out of their element and it showed all over their face. Not attractive. Find what works for you. Be open to suggestions, new stores, new colors, new ideas. But make sure you are comfortable because that is what matters. I know that I occasionally like to rock my pumps to show off the legs, but I know when and where to wear them. I don’t have any fashion rules I go by but did notice my wardrobe looking a bit dreary. I usually try to have something POW in my outfit be it a bright colored bangel, cute fun earrings, a long necklace, a pretty shawl or cute flats. I dont overdo it and I think thats key!
Omg I love this I totally agree it’s like ur in my mind lol .I did this the purging and everything at the beginning of the year and now ive lost a good amount of weight so this summer also my birthday NO FRUMP! I LOVE THIS BLOG
Raising my hand, yes I have my frumpy times. I dress “business casual” during the week and I live in workout clothes on the weekends and evenings. I usually wear my work clothes to church but I convinced myself I’m doing something extra if I put on heels. I guess it’s the fact that i’m still not comfortable with my post baby belly, hips and thighs. Uggg, that’s a whole other topic. I’m a work in progress and hope and pray to love this body again one day :o)
This blog is awesome! I was just thinking about how much money I need to spend on myself. Everytime I enter the mall I walk by Children’s Place and it’s a wrap! I have decided not to go to the mall but to inexpensive boutiques(if they exsist) TJ Maxx, and other stand alone shops. No lie, I walk in the mall and CP calls my name and I have no problem spending. However, when it’s time to shop for me, I make excuses for why I can’t spend the money. I have to work on this.
Well…well…well! I’m new to the site and I would have to say…girl you hit the nail on the head….I am fumpy, but I have decided to change that by shopping for me while I shop for my little princess. My wardrobe has got to change.
I went through this phase when my son was first born. But then I was like, “okay, no; something’s gotta give.” And I changed it up. And every since he was about four months old, I was back to “me” again. And I never looked back.
.-= Alicia @Mommy Delicious´s last blog ..Sometimes Saying No Means I Love You =-.
@Alicia – I have to reread this post every five months or so, because I find myself sliding from time to time. Now, I’m a stay-at-home mom so I might not actually be leaving the house every day. It takes a special effort to look “nice” when it’s just a 4yo and a 2yo staring at me all day. But I’m going to try.
I feel like I been stuck in F.R.U.M.P. mode for about 2 years, I am slowly pulling myself out of it. but it is a process. My issue is I am not used to being such a big girl. But I am working on that ASAP. Doing a heart healthy lifestyle and planning on moving more.
@MsLala – I slip in and out of FRUMP mode depending what’s going on. I can’t lie. It’s hard now that I’m a work at home mom and I don’t really have an opportunity to get “dressed up” – but the important thing is to continue to give that effort, even if it’s just throwing on some earrings.