at what point does a girl become a woman?

I never felt like I really crossed that line from girl to womanhood on my own terms. Once I had kids, I was forced to grow up. Quick.

Things didn’t really revolve around me and what I wanted, but more about how I could be better to give my kids everything they needed. I had to learn to be more patient, to trust that I knew was I doing, and to let go of baggage I had been carrying around for no reason at all.

I learned what “strength” really means. I learned how to give more of myself. I learned that things don’t always happen on my timetable.

At 24, I finally feel like a woman. Before that I was just playing house, trying to figure out what marriage and motherhood really meant to me. I was acting. I saw other women take care of their kids and get dinner on the table every night and still look sexy and I thought, “Why does it look so easy for them? What am I doing wrong?” But I wasn’t doing anything wrong. It took time.

It took time to get to the place where I am now, where I don’t freak out about dinner and I manage to get the clothes clean and I even have the energy to be a fully present mom in the evenings and on weekends.

I feel good about where I am, what kind of wife and mother I’ve become. I like the woman I see in the mirror.


  1. For me becoming a woman was when I learned to deal with struggle. When you leave home at 17 and have a husband and 2 kids by 22 with no support of family it is HARD! I am grateful that I have been through a lot of hardship, it has truly helped to shape the woman I have become.

    You truly are a great example of what a young woman should be like. Stay strong!

  2. Hmmm…I think it half way happened for me when I was pregnant. Yeah 15 yr olds have babies and they’re still not a woman, but I mean as far as what I had to go through to get my son here. I’m not sure a lot of people could have went through and dealt with all that I had to while I was pregnant. Then I think the rest of my womanhood came when I decided to leave all of my friends and family behind (aka all of my support) to move to another state in order to provide a better life and enviornment for my son.

    Most have their parents to help them out once in awhile, a partner, a decent amount of friends, etc. I don’t have that luxury. The place I stay at is in my name. ALL of the bills that come are in my name. My truck is in my name. Groceries, diapers, wipes, gas, clothes, and so on, is all up to me. I am a true 100% single independent mom and while that’s nice and empowering at times, this ish is hard. If I get behind on a bill, or have no money for gas to get to work, I’m S.O.L. I don’t have anyone to split the bills with or even give me money for them if I don’t have it. I’m totally against ever having another credit card–though I’m sure after having the first one and my credit being so jacked up I couldn’t get another one if I wanted it!

    Being able to support my son and I on my own, make positive & responsible decisions that affect the both of us, and just simply do the damn thang day after day is what makes me a WOMAN!