I have two kids. One boy, one girl.
I’m done.
Not only does it make us a nice even family of four (so someone will always have someone to sit with on a roller coaster or at a restaurant booth), but I have both genders, so I’ll be able to experience everything.
But for me, two is enough. Honestly, I’m terrified of the kids outnumbering us, when I’ll have more kids than I have arms. It takes a special kind of mom (parent) to effectively manage her time so that each child feels as special and loved as the next. I don’t feel like I have it in me for one more.
So I’m asking: How did you know how many kids you wanted to have? Was the number always consistent, or did it change once you had your first kid?
Growing up, I wanted four kids. Something about large families that appealed to me. In time, that number went down, I said maybe two would be enough.
A few years later, and I now have three babies, ages 5, 2, and 7.5 months. After my first daughter, I knew I wanted a second baby at some point. After my second baby was born, I decided I was done. My second daughter was/is a needy child, and was/is a lot of work. Well, things happened, and my oops baby came along. Baby number three is the little boy I always wanted. I now feel beyond blessed. Two was a great number, but I cant even begin to imagine how life wouldve been without my baby boy.
Now, I will say that having three little ones is a lot of work. A lot. I’m all alone with them all day (while the hubby is at work), and I often ask how I do it. Between all the whines, wants, cries, screams, demands, different schedules, etc… I dont know how I haven’t lost it yet. I sometimes think maybe two would’ve been enough, but then I also think, ‘of course it’s tough now. They’re all so small. In five years this will all make sense’.
After my little boy was born, I flirted with the idea of having a fourth one, but 6 months later, I’m convinced I’m done. Its too much for me. I know a lot of women do an awesome job at handling their big families, but for me, it’s a bit much. =o)
@Nori – 5, 2, and 7.5 months? Yeah, I’m sitting here marveling about how you’re able to sit here and form these coherent sentences. LOL. It is tough now, but I hold on to the hope that things will get easier as they get older. Maybe not easier, but different.
I only have one right now and we plan on more, but I really think people “just know” when their family is complete. Sure, “oops” babies can happen and can come when not expected but otherwise it seems just like knowing you’ve found the right man to be your husband, you’ll know when your family is complete. Or that’s how I envision it at least
We’ve bounced between the idea of 2-3 kids total, but I really think I won’t know if I’ll plan on a third (or more) child until I assess my life after having a 2nd.
@Leah – If I have any more kids, it will truly be an act from God. A miracle baby, ’cause I’m pulling out all the stops trying to avoid getting pregnant again.
I agree with you – you do know when your family is complete. I know. I’m done.
i have 3 siblings, and i loved having a “big” family. because of that, i know that i want to have 4 kids. although i’d love to have 3 girls (same as my family), and if we have a boy, i’d like him to have a brother, so i sometimes think if i could design my family there would be 5! lately though, i’ve been thinking my 2 girls are plenty. if i never have another baby i don’t know if i would be depressed or not. whatever i do, the next one won’t be for a while!
@Erin – I used to want a big family. Like, six kids. I don’t know what I was smoking, but giiiiiiiiirl, I have since seen the light! Two is my limit, but godspeed to those who keep going!
oh my…i have 3. i thought i was following the plan by getting preggers twice to yield 2 kids, but the second time was twins…*cue the violin*
always wanted 2, never conceived of more. hate being pregnant. twins kicked my booty in utero and continue to do so today cuz i have a toddler as well. am i done? you couldn’t PAY me to have more kids. i say it so emphatically not because of the children, but because of how my body handles pregnancy. it is absolute hell on me. and i have too many kids now to be out of commission trying to get another one here. sooooooo done 😉
@Mrs. W – Yes! I feel you! Pregnancy was no joke and as much as I liked the idea of being pregnant, the actual process was something else! I can only imagine how it was (and is!) with twins. I pray for you daily. LOL.
this is a really personal question. i never really had a set idea of how many children i wanted only that i wanted to be a mother. i think after experiencing motherhood in my early twenties i sometimes play with the idea of having one more baby. because im in my 30’s and more laid back now. it would be different. I believe that some things are meant to be.if it happens awesome, but if not i’m cool with what i have. i hesitate to offer an opinion of how much is too much.no one can decide that or judge that from the outside looking in.
I passed along the Kreativ Blogger Award to you! http://senilemomentia.com/2009/09/yippee-kreativ-blogger-award/
@Kat – Oooh, thanks, love! I’ll be right over! LOL.
I have two children with my husband, and we’re raising his son from his first marriage—so I have three kids altogether. Some days, I think having another wouldn’t be so bad, especially when I see a fresh, new bundle of beautiful baby in another mother’s arms. But then I remember all of the wonderful things that come with having kids who are big enough to be independent—no diapers, no packing all the baby gear for trips, no waking up every two hours, etc.—and I think, meh, no need for another. I can always borrow someone else’s. But if I were to get pregnant again (not likely, but if ever…) I wouldn’t complain.
I guess my husband and I decided two was enough when his son came to the house and made us the parents of three. Three is MORE than enough for us… LOL!
@Denene – I wouldn’t complain if I got pregnant again (even though it would TRULY be an act of God because we are pulling out all the stops over here…lol). Sometimes having one of each gender makes me feel like I need to have at least two more, another boy and girl, so they’ll have someone to relate to. But they have each other and there’s no reason why brothers and sisters can’t bond over experiences. At least, that’s what I tell myself every time I feel even the inkling of baby fever setting in!
I think two kids are plenty. I still don’t know how I ended up with five LMBO {scratching head} Is it too late to consider adoption?? LOL!!!
When I was reading the original post, I was like do I write this! Ha! This question goes through my head all the time. I too have a boy and a girl. How perfect right! And it seems the world was made for a family of four- tables at restuarants, cars(where do you put the third?)rides! Thats one more airplane ticket we would need and one more to put through school and to dress! Yikes! But I loved being pregnant and I love little babies. My youngest just turned two and I love the freedom we have now but can not imagine not having another yet can not imagine having another! Ha! I also think what it would do to my kids and the attention I give them. Someone told me that when you are done you know it. I don’t know it but I don’t know if I want another! Sigh……….
I have a 3 yr old boy and 1 yr old girl. That’s it for me. I’m happy with 2 kids. Don’t want any more at all. Sometimes thinking about 3 kids overwhelms me. I look at my sister who has 3 kids, and she always looks overloaded. I go to the grocery store and see parents with 3 kids, and they usually look tired/annoyed/extra busy.
People always comment on how lucky we were to not have to try over and over for a boy or girl because we have both. I love my kids, but I don’t want any more.
@Cee Cee – Girl, we need to hang out! Two kids – boy/girl, that’s it. I think there’s a divide between parents who have either more than two or fewer than two. LOL. I have a coworker with five kids and he looks at me and my two like it’s a walk in the park.
I have one. I was done- until I found out I was expecting TWINS! My son is 8 months and my twins will be 14 months younger. I think I am 100% done now!
@Emmie – Oh, wow – twins! Congrats! That’s exciting! Well, all babies are exciting but you know, twins are extra cute!