Every day after my kids get home from daycare, I ask my daughter how her day was.
Usually, she’ll say something like, “I had fun with Darren and Irene,” her two best friends. Or she might switch it up and tell me something about her teacher. “Miss Kathy gave me a sticker today.”
But when I asked her earlier this week, she said something that shocked me and hurt my feelings all at once.
“Tasha said she don’t like me,” my wonderful, beautiful baby girl said.
*screeeeech*
Two thoughts go through my mind. One – Who is this Tasha chick? and two – I’m going to have to a fight a little kid for telling my daughter she doesn’t like her. Oh, please believe – I will fight a toddler. No question.
I get down on her level. “Sweetie, what did you say?” Maybe I heard her wrong.
But by now she’s on to something else, apparently not letting the words affect her like they did to me.
Another girl doesn’t like my daughter? What?? It was in that instant that I realized my baby girl was no longer a baby. She’s a little kid, dealing with little kid things.
Before, everyone loved her because she was just a baby. Cute, cuddly, not really mobile so she could’t get into much or snatch toys away. She didn’t worry about sharing because she didn’t understand the concept of “mine.”
Now she’s a fiesty toddler with attitude and vocabulary for days. She’s got a strong personality and a wicked sense of humor for a two-year-old and perhaps other kids see her as bossy or mean, although we haven’t gotten any complaints from the daycare who thinks she’s sweet as pie.
So where does this leave me? I just hugged her, told her that she was wonderful and that no matter what, Mommy and Daddy like her very much just the way she is. I kept telling her over and over and over, hoping that I could erase the negative words out of her brain by repetition.
Just when I thought I had this motherhood thing semi-figured out here’s a new wrinkle. I can only hope I’m doing the right thing.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go find Tasha and give her a taste of my mind.
It doesn’t get any easier, believe me. Girls, especially, go through this. My eldest is in first grade, and unfortunately, to a certain degree I’ve had to go back on what I taught her. Before school, it was ‘Treat people with respect and if anyone bothers you, tell the teacher.’ Now, it’s more of her empowering herself and toughening up, which is hard for her because she’s a softie. It’s sad that some of these kids are already ‘ghetto’ (sorry, lack of a better word) and so, ‘let’s hold hands and all be friends’ doesn’t work.
Final thought: I did go to school in kindergarten and address one girl who was bullying my little one. Response? This kid stared me down and tried to punk me. Makes you wonder.
LOL @ I will fight a toddler. But ouch! I remember when I was in elementary school, I had a tough time. Kids are cruel and these days they are even more cruel…and seems as though they are starting younger & younger. They’re only in daycare for heaven’s sake. You better go sit down, eat a cookie and watch some Dora. Talking about u don’t like someone @ 2 smh
LOL @ fighting a toddler. You know the good part about children is that they are resilient. Just like you mentioned, she was on to something else as fast as she was able to tell you about Stank Tasha (lol). Hopefully, as she begins to go through things you’ll be able to tell her the things that you wish someone told you.
The comment above about “let’s hold hands and be friends” is a good example of that. I too was told to obey the golden rule and other such rules of thumb. But, that may not work now so you’ll have to give her little bit-seized portions of life lessons so that she sees the real world for what it is and not for what we as parents create it into.
i had it bad growing up, especially with other girls and it scares me to death b/c i dont know what i’ll do when someone hurts my babies’ feelings.