The only thing worse than having a child before you turn 25?
Having more than one.
Case in point: I was at work today, minding my own business, walking about, saying hi to people. I like coming to work because my coworkers are genuinely nice people. They ask how my day is going and I know they care about the answer.
So I get on the elevator and the nicest woman you’ll ever meet who works a floor above me asks me about my son. “How’s the baby doing?” she asked with a huge smile.
“He’s great,” I reply. “Not so little anymore. He’s almost eight months old.”
She flashed another smile and the doors opened on her floor. “Didn’t he just change your life?” she said as she exited.
As the doors closed, I realized that she assumed my son was my only child. Which isn’t necessarily a terrible thing. I’m 23, after all, and everyone there knows I graduated from college just a day or two after accepting this job. How many recent college grads do they know who are juggling two kids and a husband? Not too many, apparently.
When I wrote in an earlier post, it’s hard enough to be a young mom. But I do think moms with only one kid get a teeny bit more slack than those with more than one.
When out in public with my kiddos, people seem to feel free to make all sorts of comments to me:
“Oh, are they both yours?”
“How old are they?”
“Wow, you didn’t waste any time popping those out!”
“Were they planned?”
“You look like you’ve got your hands full!”
“Are you the babysitter?” (Grrrr.)
If I were, say, 35, having two kids wouldn’t be an issue. It’s pretty routine, nothing out of the ordinary. But two kids and I’m 23? STOP THE FREAKING PRESSES!
I admit, I did not plan on being 23 with two kids, but life happens. I took a deep breath, touched my toes and began the lifelong marathon called Motherhood without a second thought. Don’t I get credit for that?
All of my readers – it’s your turn! Do you think it’s harder when you have more than one kid?
Life became easier once I had my second one. As they get older they entertain one another and play together better than I ever would have imagined. Try not to take the comments to heart I don’t know why people feel like its their right to voice downright rude opinions about parenting. We are good friends with a couple who had their kids(a boy and a girl who are 1.5 years apart) in their early 20s- and now they get to do all kinds of awesome things in their 30s (they just returned from a ski trip and are going to the bahamas with their teens this summer) that I won’t possibly be doing for years to come.
My parents had both myself and my brother graduated and in college before they turned 40- not only did they both go back to college and finish multiple degrees, they started new careers in fields they love. So while people may get irritating now- just you wait you’ll be having fun with your self sufficient kids while everyone else is struggling through the toddler years.
Yolanda has it summed up. Just do as I do, smile sweetly while thinking how in about 15 years, the people who make these comments will be choking on them. I know most parents dread the teenage years, but I’m looking forward to them. I’ll still be young enough, trendy enough to have a clue as to what will be going on with their age group. I’ll be 43 when the youngest starts college (God Willing). *big cheesy smile*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I post a ton of blogs about this issue myself. I have 3— yes 3 chidren and I am 24….lol…I had my first at 15- and older women are notorous for looking at me like the nanny– ahhhhhh drives me nuts!!!! Thye forget that I graduated HS early…have almost 4 degrees and have held some incrediable positions in businesses…lol…not to mention 3 super wl behaved great children…I’ve even had a woman ask my child if he was mine…HAAAA talk about wanting to hurt someone…lol…u should read my blog because I still look like I’m 15 too….lol…so I get more hazing then I can believe!!!
Ha had to add something to the comment to the one above my own…43…lol…not too bad…I will b 30 when my son is 15…he will be 30 when I am 45….lol..so dont let them get to u at being 43 when their 18…ha…now that comment right there thows everyone way way off…hahahaha but thats the way it is…lol…we’re inrediably close and while I don’t advocate what happened to me I wouldnt change all the hard or happy days for anything!!!
@Lacey – Girl, we need to talk! LOL. I look like I’m about 13 (give or take a few years up or down) and I CONSTANTLY get the looks. It’s annoying. Especially when I was pregnant with my second (at 22) and they were all excited for me “becoming a mom” and when I politely told them that I already had a two-year-old they got silent, did the math and said a simple, “Oh.” Maybe I’m too sensitive and I really don’t care what anyone thinks, but it can still get annoying sometimes…
@tmpringl hahaha ya…we should talk…read my blog- I bet I have over 10 just towards gals doing stupid stuff…lol hahaha I dont care what they think really….but sometimes I do feel like I need to walk around with a shirt that says
“I had a kid young…then 2 more …lol…all well taken are of and highly polite and intelligent!”
or
“NO, I’m not the sitter, the sister or the nanny”
hahahah
Of course it’s harder but I think it’s easier if u have someone to help you. Having 2 is like being a single parent with one to me because even if u do have a partner, they may not be as helpful with both. I definitely couldn’t imagine 2. I don’t see how single parents with more than one do it
@Courtney – I think it’s easier if you have help definitely. And the single moms with multiple kids? Whew! I’m tired already….
I can so sympathize with you. I have 3 kids (as my name suggest) and the oldest is 10. I just turned 29, so when you do the math, you see that I had the oldest when I was 18. I don’t look 29, I look more like 22 or so. When I was pregnant with my twin girls, people would automatically assume that it was my first pregnancy and would give me all types of first pregnancy advise. When I would tell them I had a child who was 9 at the time, they would say “oh” and automatically try to do the math in their head. My kids are 9 years apart which means that the oldest can help me with the twins, but after being at work all day, I could just fall out when I get home!
Well people are gonna always have an opinion, I had my first child at 17 and my second at 30, yeah they are 13 yrs apart, and when we go out people think my 5 yr old belongs to my 18 yr old…or get this my son is 6’1′ and sometimes people think he is my man, and my daughter is our child,…Hold the presses, I know I look young but come on…oh yeah this is another one, At his school, he’s a senior, I go to parent teacher conferences, and he has a new teacher who wasn’t there last year, she asked me are you Really his mom, I said if I wasn’t his mom would be here. another one people say oh you must have had him at 12, or what were you thinking having another baby, so people are going to make comments no matter what. So you hold your head up high, and keep flaunting your babies girl…smooches
@Mom of 3 – Isn’t it funny how people’s opinions change so quickly after they realize it’s not your first child? So strange…
@Ms. Miko – Wow, did the teacher really ask you that?? I’m not looking forward to that at all. I’m 23, but I look 13 (on a good day), so chances are I’ll be right where you are when my son hits high school. People thinking we’re together though? Oh no!