I remember one of my biggest concerns when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter was how in the world I was going to tell my parents.
At the time, I was 20 and in college, but still living at home during breaks. I was paying for my tuition mostly on my own, but I still had my clothes there, still went home on the weekends.
Basically, I still lived with my parents.
So I was very concerned as to how they would take it. Would they be upset? Be disappointed? Would our relationship ever be the same?
I discovered the best way to tell them is to just be straightforward. Motherhood is a difficult journey and like it or not, you’re going to need some help. If it can come from your folks, all the better.
Sit down with them and be honest. “I’m pregnant.”
Let that digest a minute. Then continue, “I’m about two months along, and I’ve decided I’m keeping the baby. I just want you to know that I’ve thought hard about my decision and I want you to be involved in my child’s life. This won’t be easy, but I know it will be easier if my child has all the love he deserves from me and his grandparents.”
Let them ask questions. They might be upset, but it might be a big shock to them, so give them a week or so to fully understand the news. With any luck, you’ll be able to move forward – together – and start making plans on how to bring this child into the world will all the love they deserve.
How did you tell your parents you were pregnant? Were they shocked? Disappointed? Elated? Let me know in the comments!
I too was in college when I became pregnant… my freshman year, @ Cal, on scholarship! I too was 2 months along when I found out and then let the cat outta the bag.
I had 3 parents to inform (grandma, great-grandma and granddaddy) and was nervous as hell for different reasons. I wrote grandma a letter from my dorm room and mailed it. She called me and my heart sank. Then she surprised me. She said she had suspected I was pregnant… after telling me that she didn’t even know I was interested in having sex, lol. News flash, had been having sex with the same man for 5 years!
Anyhoo…
She actually listened to me and didn’t try to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do with the baby, even though she does not prefer abortion. She didn’t pressure me to keep the baby and let me come to the decision on my own by giving me her support. What was important was also the fact that she didn’t make me feel like I had “ruined my life” or “thrown my future away” as some parents say to younger women/girls.
Great-grandma was highly disappointed and thought that I “decided” to get pregnant just because my bff at the time was pregnant. I had to hear the “you’re allowed 1 mistake” talk!
I also wrote my granddaddy a letter because he had already had the “guys ain’t shit/they just wanna ruin a young girls life/STAY AWAY FROM GUYS!!” talk. I just let him know that I didn’t wanna feel uncomfortable around him and I wanted and needed his support. He didn’t show any signs of being upset or disappointed, but I know he was.
They all came to terms and all was great. Your advice is dead on. You have to just get the courage to tell them flat out. Let them know what you wanna do (if you know) and also what you need them to do for you (support your decision, just listen, etc).
I honestly don’t remember the 1st time I told my parents I was pregnant. I remember my dad was upset but only because I didn’t tell him first lol. The 2nd time I was really nervous. I had just miscarried not even 2 months ago and was pregnant again. I was actually scared to tell my mother but I don’t really know why. I was living with my father, I had my degree already and a decent paying job!
I ended up texting her that I was pregnant while I was at a Pistons game lol. She later called me and was very calm. She just asked questions about if I was going to make sure my diabetes was better managed this time, if I was going to get insurance/proper prenatal care, etc. So it went better than expected.
My sisters case is different. She hid her pregnancy from us until she was 6 months pregnant and she only broke the news to my dad because she wanted him to tell her mother. I told him not to do it. Not being a hater or anything but I’m like she is about to be a mother. It’s too late in the pregnancy for her mother to try to force her to do something about it. As a mother she was going to have to be responsible for someone else’s life and make a lot of decisions. She needed to grow up and start being more mature/handling her own business now.
She ended up telling her. Her mom was disappointed of course, hell I was too. She was only 20, still in school, and wouldn’t be able to keep her job, etc. But it was her life and responsibilities now!