A KitchenAid stand mixer in Watermelon (with paddle attachment)
This one is kind of a “mom gift” but I REALLY want one. All I can think about is mixing cakes and cookie dough and pie crusts and anything else I can throw in there and mix up. I’d be in my kitchen thinking I was on Food Network and you wouldn’t be able to tell me NOTHING!! Plus they look cool and it’d look awesome in my kitchen.
A camera bag
Part of my job is that I’m a photographer. I take photos of families, pregnant women, kiddos, events, all kinds of things. But I don’t have is a cool bag to put all of my gear in while I’m shooting. These bags by Jo Totes have been on my fantasy list for months. They’re chic, classy, functional and freaking awesome. Someone is going to get me this.
A Game Changer
You know how when you go to restaurants and they have those specialty drinks with the catchy names that have nothing to do with what the actual drink is? Yes, well this is kind of like that. The Game Changer is a special fruity, sparkly drink that melts my fat, changes my perspective, increases my IQ, lightens my attitude, makes me a better cook, and helps me get my life. Whoop! Coming to an Applebee’s near you!
Boobs that look like they did when I was 18
You know what I mean — perky with no need to wear a bra. Lord, those were the good ‘ole days. Not only would I look hot but this would also save on laundry since I’d only have to wear bra’s when I felt like it. See, I’d stay winning!
Food with no calories
… that doesn’t taste like stale air but tastes like Yes Lord mixed with Honey Boom.
An easy button
Those commercials have tricked me into thinking this would really enhance my life in some way. Like, when life gets hectic and kids are crying, running down the stairs, throwing fits, asking never-ending questions and wanting me to make several different food items for them like they’re ordering things at a diner, I could press it. Then magically child care professionals come forward-rolling into my home to tend to my kids, a maid comes to clean, and a chef comes to make all the food and a drink with an umbrella in it for me while I sit and relax. Yes, Get. Me. This!!
A force field
Only to be used on days when I need just a smidgen of personal space and can’t seem to pry my kids off of me for a second to get it. I’d only activate it in times of emergencies… I think. We’ll see. Listen, let me get back to you on this one.
Cute clothes
Now, I’m not walking around in “mom jeans” or anything but I definitely spend more time buying my children and husband clothes than I do myself. I’m not even sure what my style is but I know what I like when I see it. I couldn’t make you a list though. So this one would have to come in the form of a gift card.
A self-cleaning car
My car is laden with crumbs, toy soldiers, stuffed animals, sippy cups and jackets that nobody ever wants to clean out. I figure if ovens come with a self-cleaning button then surely cars should, right?
I’ve got several more things on my list but the biggest thing that this has taught me is to take some time out to focus on myself and what I want/need. I oftentimes put myself last on the list but not this time. This year I’m making lists, checking them twice and getting bodied while I do it. Just call me Santa-yonce! Now, my list might be written on a Walmart receipt using a crayon that I found in my car but it’s a list no less.