I honestly don’t want to write about Jon and Kate Plus 8 anymore, but something about this whole drama/scandal/ratings push/tabloid affair makes me seethe.

Now, I know that Kate isn’t the world’s nicest person and she probably won’t have the marriage counselor on her side when and if she and Jon decide on some therapy sessions.

But.

This is a woman who has eight kids. Went from zero kids to eight kids in a little over three years. She lost her job, her husband lost his, and they were staring at eight babies trying to figure out how to feed them.

So TLC comes along. They say, “Hey, your family is interesting – can we do a one-hour special on you?” Probably thrilled that they will be able to pay some bills, the Gosselins agree. It’s not like TLC was MTV or ABC. Can you even name a show on TLC before the Gosselin crew arrived? They probably had no clue what they were getting into, but figured since they had control over when the crews shot, everything would be okay.

Fast forward four years.

Their marriage in shambles, the kids old enough to know what’s going on, financial situation noticably improved, Jon stays home with the kids while Kate embarks on her new career as a book author/mom maven.

People have been giving her all kinds of crap for being away from home so much, and making Jon stay home with the kids.

Excuse me? Didn’t Kate quit her job as a nurse to stay home and watch all those babies from the beginning? Wasn’t Jon away from the house the majority of the day working?

So now when the kids are older and more independent and -gasp! – in school during the day, it’s somehow bad for Kate to have a career? Did anyone ever think that maybe, just maybe this second career will enable them to quit the show, or at the very least, allow them to pull back and go back to the one-hour specials?  

What if Kate never did the show? Can you imagine the hours they would probably be working to support all those kids?

It’s like she’s damned if she does and damned if she doesn’t. When you didn’t see Kate flying off to book signings, people criticized her for being lazy and just laying around the house while TLC wrote the checks. Now that she’s actually writing books and doing appearances, now the criticism shifts to, “Oh, look she’s never home.”

I read her book, Multiple Blessings and this is a woman who didn’t really leave the house during the first year of the sextuplets life. Read that again. She didn’t leave the house.

Let’s not forget, she’s only, what? 34? Now that the kids are older and in school, what exactly is she supposed to do? If she never had aspirations to be a stay-at-home mom, why should she be now?

I don’t pretend to know everything that’s going on with Jon and Kate Gosselin.

But I have some ideas and while they might not like their marriage troubles being broadcast in the public, that’s the price you pay when you sign up for a reality show and pose on the covers of Good Housekeeping, Ladies’ Home Journal and People magazine.

To me, the problem seems obvious. Kate, an ambitious woman even before she had kids, had twins (double the work) and when she wanted just one more child, got blessed with sextuplets.

I don’t know the pyschology behind becoming a mama of multiples, but it’s got to have some effect on your brain. You have more kids than you have arms and they all have the same level of need at the same time. How do you manage to meet all their needs without losing yourself?

Kate was no longer just “Kate” – she was Kate Plus 8 and she had a desire to be more than that.

She liked the attention she received from the show and being able to author a few books and give moms advice on organizing gave her personal fulfillment.  She had career goals beyond being a stay-at-home mom and in some sort of divine intervention, being overwhelmed with eight kids gave her the opportunity to shine.

Then there’s Jon. Younger than Kate when they hooked up, he was sort of wandering and aimless, backpacking through Europe after dropping out of school. After he got together with Kate, they both said they were the couple you love to hate – the “I love you more” kind.

But the stress of eight kids can wear on anyone and with two clashing personalities, conflict is bound to arise and fester. Kate didn’t have time to work on how she spoke to Jon – she was too busy trying to keep eight kids alive. And Jon never got to assert himself or take the reins in the household because Kate was always two steps ahead of him, trying to make sure the house didn’t fall into disarray.

The classic line – “We’re growing in different directions” – could easily apply to them. But the good news is that their relationship isn’t beyond repair.

The rumors of infidelity and maintaining their marriage for the sake of the show could certainly be true. But what they have (or had) at the core of their marriage was solid. If they can strip away all the gunk that poisons their love (insufficient communication, loss of respect, incompatible views on marriage), I think they can pull through.

What do you think? Will you be watching tonight when “Jon and Kate Plus 8″ premieres it’s fifth season? Do you think they should address their marriage troubles or focus on the kids? Or – should they quit the show altogether? Discuss it in the comments…