Kanesha Morrison is a mama of two, blogging her way through motherhood at MoneyMattersMama.com

by Wynter Pitts

It’s one of the most memorable days of my life. I sat looking out of the window with a blank stare on my face and it felt like I was living inside of a silent movie scene, except it wasn’t quiet.   Somewhere in the distance I could hear a mixture of my husband’s voice, my two-year-old’s and five year-old girl’s giggles and the hum of my small SUV’s engine, but it all seemed to be getting drowned out by the news I had just received…

I was 28, a wife of six years, a mom of two girls, and I was finally beginning to fit comfortably into my jeans once again. My days were a mix of playdates, bibs, and vacuums. I was pretty settled into my life as “mommy” and I honestly felt like I had it all under control.  Life was good.

We had just gotten back from a family trip and our first stop was to the doctor’s office.  My husband waited in the car with sleeping kids while I ran in to grab some test results.  Little did I know but that stop at the doctor’s was going to literally flip my world upside down!

I don’t quite remember my journey from the office to the parking lot but I am guessing it happened very slowly.  My husband hopped out of the car with a puzzled look mirroring what he saw on my face.

I couldn’t speak.

As he got closer, I guess he could hear my mind spinning because he grabbed me and said, “Oh my goodness, you’re pregnant with twins!”

I still couldn’t speak.

Fast forward about 12 months and this is what my life looked like:

I am sitting in a rocking chair with each arm positioned to hold a football; Baby A is attached to my left side and Baby B attached to the right.  Between the babies is my three year old with one arm reaching over baby B, and her small hand playing with my earlobe.  My five year old is sprawled across my shoulders playing in my hair. I am not sure what was happening before, but at this moment, I knew I was a mom!

As the years have progressed, life has only gotten more interesting. I was a mom of two girls but now as I sort through 8 ruffled socks and 4 fleece jackets, load my mini-van with Capri Suns and fruit snacks, plop Elmo into the DVD player and head to soccer practice, there is no doubt in my mind that I am somebody’s Momma!!

Wife and mother of 4 girls, Wynter Pitts resides in Dallas, TX, and is the founder and editor of For Girls Like You Magazine (www.forgirlslikeyou.com).

by Ava Morton

How often have you heard parents tout that their two year old with the great throwing arm is going to be the next major league pitcher, or quarterback, etc?Though we may make these assertions about our children in jest, there is a hint of hope that maybe, just maybe, there might be something to Junior’s strong arm.

As parents, we naturally take pride in our children’s abilities to excel at things and dream of a future of possibilities that may have escaped us or we, as adults, continue to pursue. But just how big or limitless are the dreams, we as parents have for our children?

Instead of thinking how great it would be for Junior to be the next sports super star or for Princess to be the next singing sensation, how about dreaming for them to be the owners of the next sports or entertainment franchise? Heck, the inventor of a new sensation we do not even know we will be obsessing over, a la Steve Jobs. I’m not saying as parents we need to be “Tiger Mom” strict or “Toddlers in Tiaras” crazed.

However, allowing ourselves to dream big for our children, in turn means they will be encouraged and celebrated to dream big for themselves. Yes, this does resemble the overly used Les Brown quote (“Shoot for the moon; even if you miss it you will land among the stars”) but it has so much value when we raise our children to always dream and follow up on those dreams with actions that bring them closer to manifestation.

It’s not so important to focus on the exact outcome of what your child will be, but to give them the foundation to excel at the path they choose. Obviously, there is no one size fits all approach to raising the next generation of greatness, what matters most is allowing your actions as a parent to be guided by an open possibility that your children’s possibility for greatness is exponential.

Your unconditional love, support, and guidance are the foundations for planting seeds of greatness. The future is ripe and ready for a new generation of greatness, yet right now they are still learning how to go potty or to tie their shoes.

Ava Morton is a working mother juggling a career as a nonprofit grants professional with life as a wife and a mother to two under two.

This post by Chaunie over at Tiny Blue Lines just smacked all types of sense into me and brought me huge clarity on why some days go better than others. Prepare to have a big ol’ “Aha!” moment with me. 

by Chaunie Brusie (www.tinybluelines.com)

The other day I posted a video about a mom who has birthed 11 children and is now finding the time to go back to school…at Harvard.

I’m a sucker for these inspirational mom stories. I honestly cannot fathom how anyone has that many kids. I know people used to do it all the time and I know lots of people still do it, but it just boggles my mind. I feel like a crazy person with two kids, I just can’t imagine 11 of them running around my house.

So how does she do it? If you watched the video, you will see a super-peppy mom who cites her secret to keeping it all together in two simple steps:

1) She reads inspirational material every morning, i.e. the Bible.
2) She then heads out for a brisk run every morning.

If you are anything like me, your first reaction to this “advice” may be something along the lines of fake-vomiting/sarcastic “how nice for you!” comments. I mean, really? So not only has she produced 11 super-talented children, started her own successful business running a gymnastics gym, and gotten into Harvard, she also manages to read her Bible and run every morning.

Gag me.

But if I look past my cynicism, I see a real truth to her methods. It struck me that when it comes right down to it, motherhood, the day-in, day-out duties of being a mom, really is a job.

A job, that in all honesty, I do nothing to prepare for.

I thought about it in this way–when I go to my job at the hospital, I give myself about an hour to prepare. I get up, get dressed, do my hair and make-up, make some coffee, pack a lunch, say goodbye to Ben and the girls if they are there. And I always, always make it a habit to say a quick prayer before I punch in. I ask that God helps me to perform my job to the best of my ability and that I fulfill His will in some way. Simple, but effective. I wouldn’t dream of starting my day (or night) any other way.

But how do I prep for my day job as mom?

I do absolutely nothing.

I lounge in bed until Ada plods in, then we snuggle for a bit in my bed, then we get up and make breakfast while we’re still in our jammies.

The rest of the day catches up to us, as I struggle to clean, do laundry, prepare the next meals, and somewhere in there, get us all dressed. It’s no wonder I find that I’m always behind, when I start the day behind to begin with. There is no preparation, no hour to myself, no silent prayer to do a job well-done as a mom.

So all of this pondering got me curious–am I alone here? Do any of you do anything to “prep” in the morning for your job as a mom?

Chaunie is a wife and mom of two blogging about the unpredictably of motherhood over at Tiny Blue Lines. She is also a labor and delivery nurse, in addition to being a fantastic writer. 

by Amber Wright of TheYeyoDiaries.com

Motherhood is a beautiful journey. But it can also be very lonely at times and right now happens to be one of those times for me. My closest friends are loving and supportive, but almost all of them are single and none of them are moms. There’s so much about  my life that they can’t relate to now that I have a child. And when you become a mom, what you crave most is for someone that simply “gets” what your new life is all about.

The concept of remembering to freeze teething rings, decoding the mystery of vanishing pacifiers, and dealing with the stench of poopy diapers is so foreign to my non-mommy friends. Some days I feel like my life is a museum exhibit on motherhood and marriage. Visitors stroll through, marvel at the works of art, and then go home. I’m quite happy with my life and I don’t resent my single friends or their lifestyles in any way. Sometimes though, it’s hard not to feel like the “odd man out.”

To cure my current case of the mommy life lonelies, I have resolved to spend more time developing relationships with other women with lives that are similar to mine.  I reached out to a friend from college that had a baby around the same time I did, and we’ve gone on a few play dates. My blog has also served as a great platform to meet other married mamas in my area (I’ve only met one so far, but hey…it’s a start!).

Fostering new relationships takes time and you have to proceed with caution. But I think that’s why (at least for me) sites like the YML are so important. To read a post and see yourself in it, whether it be about how babies affect your marriage, your career, your sanity, or your whatever…means the world! When I read these stories and see all that we have in common, I feel less like a museum curator and more like a real person. And for that, I thank you all for sharing in the journey!

Melvina drops even more knowledge on day three of her guest series. Click here for part 1 and part 2. Here’s a few more tips for succeeding with your studies:

A DEDICATED PERSON: I alluded to the idea of it taking a village to raise a child idea and accepting or asking for help whenever you have an inkling of needing it! Well, I also think if you can manage it, find an extra-special person to support you. I had my (amazing!) husband, but it doesn’t actually matter who it is. The person just needs to be totally in tune with you and be there for you. Someone who is a confidante. Bear in mind though, that even your No #1 go-to person can run out of energy – just like you, they are human. They need a break too. For the times when they just can’t take any more, it’s useful to have someone else – luckily I had one of these too, though I’m not sure she knows how great she was. I’ll be sure to tell her again!

A DEDICATED SPACE: Create a space that is for you. A space where you can leave your books for an hour (to rest/play/cook/clean) and where you can be sure that when you get back, they’ll still be there. Luckily, we have a 3 bedroom house, so one room is ‘our’ MY study. To an outsider its full of post-its, pin board, spidergrams, stacks of paper piled randomly, topped with books and journal articles. To me, this was the basis of my work – if anything was touched – I’d know. Even if it’s just a corner in your lounge/bedroom, try to have a small space that is yours. A space where you get into the ‘zone’ and get your geek on!

YOU time: OK, I know I just said that you should focus on your studies BUT you’ve gotta have something else too. Something that isn’t kid-related or study-related, but something that is JUST.FOR.YOU. Something that YOU enjoy. I know you might think you don’t have time – but it’s not true. You DO have time for you, you just have to adjust your timetable and take that time out. It will mean a tiny bit less time studying, or a tiny bit less time with your loved ones BUT investing in you is an investment in your family. It’s just like on a plane, they tell you to put your life jacket on first, before helping others – there’s a reason for that. So, to clarify, you need to have it – just don’t let it take over.

KNOW WHEN TO STOP: A strong woman knows when to stop. When it is all just too much or too hard – stop. Like I said, you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. If deep down you really really feel you need a break from your studies – take the break. If you feel you need a break from your child(ren) – take the break. Everyone will thank you and it really is OK. I know someone who took 18 months off from a 3 year course because it all got too much. She went back, finished and has two very grown and handsome sons, a PhD and has also had a fabulous career! If she can do it, so can you!

That’s it girls. Like I said, I’m no expert, but I do know that if I can get my PhD, you can make it through whatever studies you are doing/contemplating too. Good luck and God bless, and maybe I’ll see you sometime on my blog Planning, Playing, Praying… BIG thanks to Tara for providing this space for gals like us – Tara – big props to you!!!!

Wonderful response from yesterday’s article (click here in case you missed it). Melvina continues breaking down why going to school and taking care of a family IS possible. Here are her must-read tips:

Continuing on from yesterday, here’s my take on comparing yourself to other Mums, making the most of ‘team Mum’, the pitfalls of juggling too much and problem sharing.

DON’T MAKE COMPARISONS: Quit looking at others for comparison. So what if all the people you went to school/university with are enjoying wild crazy professional lives with the disposable income to match. You keep studying – yours will come later, and by that time, your kid(s) will be grown, you’ll have more disposable income than they have now and you’ll have the maturity to know how to use it! (Or you’ll blow it all on expensive handbags – but hey, that’s your prerogative!)

You are living your life, so just do the very best with it that you can – after all, that is all everyone else is doing too. Other people’s lives only look greener from your side. Remember though, the grass is greenest where you water it! Just do the best that you can do with what you’ve got.

‘TEAM MUM’: If you want to pass, then you just have to accept help from Team Mum – they want to help you believe it or not. So, quit the denial. Yes, I know it’s hard – especially as us young Mums often think we have to prove that we can handle it all despite our age or lack of preparedness for parenting.

Trust me, you don’t have to prove anything. No one is waiting for you to fall and you’ll be happier for just saying ‘yes please’ and grabbing all help – with both hands! ‘Help’ could mean anything from your Mum having the kid(s) for a day, allowing a prolific commenter to write a guest post for your blog (Note from Young Mommy: “YES!”) or borrowing a coursemate’s book. The funny thing about help is that if every time you decline help, the ‘giver’ might think that you genuinely don’t want/need it, when in fact you’re just being stubborn/proud/in denial (delete as appropriate).

A PROBLEM SHARED IS A PROBLEM HALVED: Make friends with other Mums (or Dads) at playgroup, nursery – wherever! Just as I said before, these people know what you’re going through with your kid(s). Even if they’re 35, and seem to have everything, it’s nice to see that their kids act up just as much as yours do and that your kid’s behaviour is more a result of them being kids and not a result of your hectic (fine, I’m making assumptions) parenting schedule. No parent is perfect, but sometimes you need to see other less than perfect parents to really believe it!

DON’T JUGGLE TOO MUCH: Try not to do too many things at once. Raising a child(ren) is hard enough, never mind doing it whilst trying to figure who you are and what you’re about (typically done during our teens and twenties). If you then add studying – it’s enough on one plate – don’t you think? It’s not that I believe the ‘jack of all trades, master of none’ proverb, it’s just that if you want to pass, you do need to be able to focus and the fewer distractions, the more able you will be to create a masterpiece in your studies. Creating that masterpiece will give you the leverage to do all sorts of things afterwards.

HAVING A PLAN: Make the plan and try try try to stick to it. Now, don’t feel bad if it goes awry sometimes. I always have a plan – whatever the situation. BUT, I only stick to it about 50% of the time, and still I continue to make my own little plans. Let me explain. You see, for me, the process of making a plan helps me to see all the things that I have to do. Sure, I often freak out when I see the list of ‘must-dos’ and then I pray on it. BUT, once I work out my priorities and separate them from the ‘would like to dos’, then I start having a real plan, and having that little piece of paper/napkin/bus ticket/envelope makes me feel that little bit more secure – that little bit more in control. If I fall off my plan. I don’t panic, I just make a new one. I don’t know if this is good advice really, but it’s worked for me. I am sure God has something to do with me falling off certain plans in order to get back on the right plan – his plan!

Read more about Melvina at her blog, Planning, Praying, Praying (what a good read!). She’ll be back for one more post on Friday – this one is gonna be MAJOR!

by Blessing

by Nicole Lynn Lewis

On Saturday, I sat in the bleachers of a middle school gym watching my daughter’s basketball game with the other team parents. One of the mothers is reading my book Glori, which chronicles my experience of putting myself through college as a teen mom despite homelessness, a drug infested environment, and an oppressive relationship. She told me she loved the book so far – couldn’t put it down. In fact, it reminded her in many ways of her own experiences – good and bad. We talked about that for a while. Then she added, “I wish I had your drive.”

Those who know me well know that this kind of thing makes me want to hide under a rock. I definitely have drive. I actually like to call it bull-headedness. I try not to let fear get in the way of the things I’m passionate about.

When I was a 19-year-old new mom – broke and homeless – fearlessness and dedication helped me pursue a college degree. Now a married mother of two, that same fearlessness is helping me launch a new nonprofit organization that helps other teen parents achieve their own success. But I believe – truly – that we all have that “drive.” We just have to overcome our fears and use some of that bullheadedness to let it shine.

I founded Generation Hope in 2010 and it has been a whirlwind ever since. I remember sitting in my husband’s “man cave” having a heart-to-heart about what God was calling me to do next. My response was “pay the bills,” but my husband didn’t necessarily agree. He told me to pray about it and think about it, and the very next morning, I woke up and wrote the business plan for Generation Hope. Hours later, I “hired” my first employee, and days later I recruited our first board member.

I was scared. It was uncharted territory. It would be difficult for many reasons, including the crummy economy. And, honestly, at the end of the day, I would be putting myself out there – knowing the door would often be slammed in my face – and that’s a scary thing.

But I’m passionate about Generation Hope because I know the importance of young parents enrolling in and completing college. I know the difference a college degree will make in their lives, in their children’s lives, and in our communities. I also know how great it feels to accomplish a dream – and I want to help others experience that feeling.

I often tell young mothers to concentrate on being the best mother they can be to their children and everything else will fall into place. Being the best mother includes being the best person you can be – and being someone that your children can be proud of. I hope that the things I do each and every day make my daughters, Nerissa and Naya, proud and confident in their own abilities. I hope it unleashes in them the drive that we all have inside.

So don’t let your fears keep you from doing the things that you’re passionate about. Be bullheaded. Your kids will thank you one day. I promise.

Nicole Lynn Lewis is an author and nationally-known speaker and the CEO of Generation Hope, a nonprofit organization that reduces the number of families living in poverty by providing direct sponsorship and support to teen parents who are attending college in the Washington, D.C. area. This month, Generation Hope is competing in the Pepsi Refresh Project for a $50,000 grant. Watch the video below and vote each day in January. For more information, please visit the blog.

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Head on over to RichSingleMomma for a guest post by yours truly, on how to get your financial life right for 2009!

And as always, check me out at BlackandMarriedwithKids.com on Mondays and Thursdays!