As I type this, it’s about four days before my son starts preschool. It will be the first time in a full year that he will be someplace other than just with me all day.

I tried to do the superwoman thing and make $50K a year while working from home, with no babysitter, and write books, and run two or three successful blogs, be a super responsive social media consultant, edit manuscripts, make delicious dinners, keep a clean house, and maintain my 3.7 GPA. The hell? 

To give myself credit, I did manage all that for a full year. But I was dead-ass tired every night. Like, I’d wake up in the morning not knowing what happened in the minutes before I went to bed. It was just, “Oh, I guess I went to sleep,” each morning. No clue if I dragged myself to bed or if my husband was peeling me off the computer and carrying me to bed. I dunno.

So I’ve been doing a heck of a lot of…inspirational stuff lately. Make it happen, get yours, go to school, rise above, get inspired….all that stuff is well and good, but man, I just want a sleep session. Like, could someone give me 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep (make it 12) and promise me that no work would pile up while I was unconscious? Please?

I knew this—the life I’ve chosen—was going to be stressful. I mean, I don’t even want to list all the things that are on my plate or I might just fling that imaginary plate into the wall. I even tried to make peace with the fact that I am going to be insanely tired for the foreseeable future.

I just want to know that this hard work means something. That someone is taking notice. That the plans are lining up as they should. That when I’m 30 or 40 or 50, I will be able to look back at this time and say, “Yup, this is where it all started.” And give my 20something self a high five for busting her hump so my 50something self can be straight chillin’ in Hawaii somewhere.

So I’m not complaining. Really. Eventually this will pay off. I’m sure of it. It’s just hard to keep up the pace when you’re pulled in 70 different directions and your bank account is not quite showing the fruits of your labor. But I’m getting there. We’re all getting there. And it will be glorious.

So a friend-of-a-friend recently found out she was pregnant. Wonderful news, right? I think so.

But apparently, my friend is already thinking about how to tell her boss. It’s still pretty early (not too many people know about it) and according to the friend, her boss hates married women and women with families.

FAN-tastic. (Catch the sarcasm?)

So she wants to know: How to break the news?

Well, for me, it was particularly awkward.

I had JUST accepted a full-time position.

My boss had really pulled for me to get this position and this salary.

Another co-worker in my department was pregnant, so we would already be short-staffed once her maternity leave rolled around.

No more than two weeks after accepting the position, I strolled in my boss’ office, nervous and fidgeting. We were discussing an upcoming project I was working on.

After we discussed the details, she leaned back away from the table. “So, anything new with you?” she asked.

I paused. Was this the moment? Should I tell her?

“Well…,” I said, slowly. “My husband and I just discovered we’re expecting baby number two.”

She smiled. I could tell she was shocked but she did a good job covering it. “Well,” she said, “that’s wonderful news. I’m happy for you.”

And I could tell she meant it.

I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders as I walked down the hall back to my office. Whew.

The only advice I have to is to be upfront about what your plans are. Since you might not know what your plans are yet, take a month or two to just absorb the news yourself, and then figure out what you might do.

Will you take 12-weeks maternity leave? Longer? Shorter? Will you do a gradual return to the office? Thinking of suggesting a different schedule once you return from maternity leave?

I also found it helpful to create a calendar of the the projects that will need to be completed during your maternity leave. The more detailed, the better. The earlier you can show it to your boss, the better. It shows you still care about the work getting done, even if you won’t be there to do it.

Being pregnant at work is a WHOLE ‘nother post, but I’ll leave it there for now.

Ladies – any advice for the career-minded mommy to be? How did you tell your boss you were expecting?

Children are expensive. And unless you are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie or some other celebrity, no one is just dying to give you money just to look at them.

So you must have a job.

Sometimes I can’t believe I workfor the organization I do. When I first interviewed for a position for my current workplace, I was so nervous about my prospective boss finding out I had a three-month-old baby at home. How would I be able to compete with the fresh-out-of-college, eager-to-please, no-baby-to-run-home-to-at-the-end-of-the-day college graduates?

Luckily, my now boss has four children of her own and could relate to the sleepless nights I was in the midst of, and voiced her amazement in the fact that I could pull myself together enough to make it out the house and into her office for an interview. In this case, I think having a child helped me. She was able to see that I could handle multiple responsibilites, something that gave me a leg up on the rowdy Spring-Breakers who were also looking for jobs.

So how do you go about landing a job with an organization that is family-friendly? Keep these tips in mind:

1. Consider your career field first. What is your dream job like? In order to get ahead, will you have to work long hours to establish yourself? Will finding childcare be a problem? If so, you may need to reconsider what jobs you apply for.
2. When interviewing, pay attention to the atmosphere in the office. Do people have pictures of their children on their desk? Are crayon drawings hung up on the wall? See anyone drinking out of a #1 Dad mug? All these might be signs that people won’t flip out if you need to rush home to pick up Junior because he suddenly came down with pinkeye. More than likely (and as long as you don’t make it a habit), they’ll understand because they’ve been there.
3. Treat motherhood as a bonus, not a negative. If you worry about how people will perceive you as a young mom, you will make it harder on yourself. Think about it: You’re able to juggle one of the most demanding jobs there are, without much of the luxuries older moms may have. I call that talent. Play up the fact that you work harder than the average 20-something, and you might get kudos for your efforts.
4. Inquire about policies such as flexible hours or alternate hours. I work 8-4 instead of 9-5 like most people in my office, which is lovely because I’m able to get a solid hour of work done before the office starts buzzing, and I’m able to leave before rush hour traffic hits so I can get to my daughter’s daycare on time. Be sure that if you ask for these perks that you’re able to deliver impressive results. They’re not going to let you work from home if your work is sloppy on those days, or you’re hard to get ahold of.
5. Check with Human Resource Organizations in your area who regularly compile lists of “best workplaces” in your town. They might highlight organizations with policies that meet your needs, or highlight perks that you might not have thought about.
6. Might sound sexist, but check how many women work there – especially in management positions. I don’t know if I would have been hired if my immediate supervisor wasn’t a woman. No, scratch that. If she wasn’t a mother. More women at a workplace, more possible mothers. Mothers have an unspoken bond. We look out for one another. Look how many female managers (ones who have the authority to create flextime arrangements and other family friendly policies) there are in the organization. The more people you can have on your side, the better.

So what do you think? How family friendly is your job? Does your workplace make it easier for you as a mom? Let me know in the comments!