Last Monday, I was on FIRE! I did two loads of laundry, cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner with a smile, handled ALL of my client work by 2 p.m. and had enough time to take my son to the park. I had to give myself a high-five and a pat on the back for handling my business and handling it well. 

But then Tuesday was a HOT mess. I burned dinner, I was late picking up the kids from school, and a crisis broke out at work that had me losing sleep for the next three days. I was fussing and cussing all day. A MESS!

What I know now that I didn’t know before is that this happens to the best of us. Even the best mamas have days where we are in shambles. Nothing’s going right, the kids have us about to pull our hair out and it’s just.not.fun.

It takes time to find your groove and even then you’ll stumble from time to time. That’s normal. That’s okay.

What matters is you keep your cool, you learn from your mistakes and you try to get it right later.

Keep Your Cool

Maaan, when your patience is being tested, you can just feel your blood pressure rising. (Tell me it’s not just me.) In those moments where I feel out of control, I remind myself that I have control over one thing: my reaction. Sometimes I have to close my eyes, count to 10 and then try to envision my blood pressure slowly falling. Other times I grab my water bottle to literally try to cool myself down. Anything and everything works here. The key is to not flip out.

Learn From Your Mistakes

I’m always big on not making the same mistake twice. Doesn’t always work but I at least try. If I know that whenever I try to sit down and reply to comments on Facebook while dinner is cooking, dinner will burn up. So I know to not check Facebook while I’m cooking. Because dinner will burn. And I will be mad. Because I love dinner. And my kids are fond of eating.

Try To Get It Right Later

I’m always looking forward to the next day, because it’s a fresh start. No matter how crazy the previous day was, I try to wake up in a good mood. I don’t carry over the crazy from the day before. The crazy stays in the rearview mirror.

What are your no-fail tips for those days when you really don’t feel like you have it all together?

The post To All The Moms Who Don’t Quite Have It All The Way Together appeared first on The Young Mommy Life.

My husband was browsing through his computer yesterday and found this, my written statement for my Master’s program application. I wrote this as I was trying to convince the coordinators why I would be a good fit for the program and what I hoped to get out of it. Three years later I can say, “Yes. I did all that reading and research and studying and writing for ALL the right reasons.”

I discovered I was pregnant my junior year of college. Having a child was the biggest shock of my life and I was in no way ready for what it entailed.

As a young mother, there is so much you are unprepared for. I had to get my life in order in a matter of months, but I did it, thanks to an extensive support system. I still graduated on time, and with a 3.7 GPA.

But even with my support system, I still felt out of place and alone. So I created a website, www.theyoungmommylife.com, to inspire other young mothers who had the same struggles. I would talk about how different I felt from my friends, how motherhood was much harder than I imagined, and even air out my fears about not being up for the job.

At first, I didn’t have many readers. But as I kept writing and posting, the site began to grow. Two years later, I now have close to 10,000 readers a month.

On my website, I encourage young moms to use my blog as a support group of sorts. But I often get personal e-mails from readers where they ask me questions about their family structure and how to solve various problems in their lives. At this time, all I can do is offer encouragement and push them to make what they feel is the best decision for themselves and their family. But I would like to have a stronger background in child development and family studies, in order to offer more support and guidance to these mothers. This is where the Masters in Human Development and Family Studies comes in.

As the site continues to grow, I am getting offered speaking engagements and collaboration opportunities with large nonprofits. I have built relationships with the Massachusetts Alliance on Teenage Pregnancy and the Filicide Education and Prevention Association.

I was a keynote speaker at the National Crittenton Foundation’s annual meeting and reception in March in Washington, D.C., and participated in its Hill Day, where I accompanied Crittenton agency directors on several Congressional visits to advocate for policy changes that affect young mothers.

My ultimate goal is to create a nationwide support group for young mothers. It would be a single place to connect them with basic needs resources, but also meeting groups, daycare recommendations, job opportunities, and networking events. It would be a place for young moms to learn and grow, surrounded by the support of women who are in the same stage of life. There would be monthly workshops, book clubs, babysitter referrals, etc.

I would be able to build workshops and resources for mothers that delve into larger societal issues, not just those of my own personal experiences. I could offer support beyond what I know and tap into what modern research suggests in terms of building strong families and parent-child relationships.

In short, I would like these moms to be empowered and ready for this phase of their lives. I believe that a stronger background in family studies (as well as possible certification as a family life educator) would help me reach these goals.

My graduation ceremony was amazing and I was fully present as I walked across the stage. I felt so…grown! LOL. I set a goal and I made it. It took longer than I thought and many, many, many tears were shed but I was DONE. I was grateful to have my family there as I got my degree, as they held me down when I felt like giving up!

You all helped push me and motivate me over the past three years as well, so I want to say a huge THANK YOU to you as well. Thanks for supporting me.

Now off to look at PhD programs. (Just kidding.)

The post Mission Accomplished! Master’s Degree? Check! appeared first on The Young Mommy Life.

When I discovered I was pregnant my junior year, my first inclination was to hide the pregnancy. I didn’t want anyone to know I was pregnant, I didn’t want anything to make me stand out on campus and I didn’t want my professors to begin treating me differently.

What I wish I had known was that as a pregnant and soon-to-be parenting student, I had rights. Title IX protects against sex discrimination in federally funded programs and activities. This means, for starters, that I could not be “punished” for having a child (since women are the only ones who can get pregnant). I could not be dropped a letter grade for missing class due to pregnancy or childbirth. Again, I’ll say: I had rights.

But I didn’t know this, of course. So I did what I could and prayed my professors would be lenient. But of course, after I had an emergency C-section with my daughter, physically I shouldn’t have been in class anytime soon. I missed only a week  and I still remember how slowly I had to walk to make it to the second floor to take my final and how I grimaced every time I shifted in my seat.

More students should know their rights and be able to exercise them without retribution or fear. But that is not always the case, particularly for teen parents who are still in high school. School administrators often write off their futures, refusing to assist with college applications or scholarship forms, leaving teen parents to wonder where they can turn for the support they desperately seek.

This is why I support the Pregnant and Parenting Students Access To Education Act (PPSAE).

In it, the protections of Title IX go even further, allowing states to coordinate resources and making it easier for pregnant and parenting students to complete their education. Check out my friend Lisette’s advocacy poster for the legislation above. The bill is being introduced by U.S. Senator Tom Udall (New Mexico) and U.S. Representative Jared Polis (Colorado) and needs more Congressional support to succeed. If you’d like to support this act, go here to email your representatives and let them know this is important legislation!

While you’re at it, make sure to “like” the National Women’s Law Center and the Healthy Teen Network on Facebook. (Tell them YML sent you!)

Let’s make history!

The post Urge Your Representatives: Support Pregnant And Parenting Students! appeared first on The Young Mommy Life.

I’m a pretty simple woman. When my husband asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I said a waffle maker. I saw one at Walmart for $15 and figured, why not? My son loves waffles and the frozen ones taste like cardboard.

I was playing around in the kitchen this past weekend and came up with this recipe for pumpkin pie waffles. I had a can of pumpkin puree in the cabinet that I had to keep moving out of the way in order to get to everything else, so I figured, why not just use it? I know it’s technically spring and pumpkin pie-anything feels like a fall meal, but it’s really, really good. Don’t be scared by the list of ingredients. The only thing you might have to go get is baking powder (under $1) and pumpkin puree (about $2).

These were incredible!! I actually eat them plain, but if you’d like a little more sweetness you can dust it with powdered sugar. Make the whole batch and then freeze them for later.

Ingredients

2 cups all-purpose flour

3/4 cup sugar 

3-1/2 teaspoons baking powder

3 teaspoons cinnamon

1 teaspoon nutmeg

2 eggs

1-1/2 cups milk

1/ cup butter, melted but cool

1/2 cup vanilla yogurt

3-4 tablespoons canned pumpkin puree

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions

In a bowl, combine flour, sugar, baking powder, cinnamon and nutmeg. In another bowl, lightly beat eggs and add milk, butter, yogurt, pumpkin and vanilla; mix well. Stir into dry ingredients just until combined.

Bake in a preheated waffle iron according to manufacturer’s directions until golden brown.

The post {In The Kitchen} Pumpkin Pie Waffles appeared first on The Young Mommy Life.

I’ve got to admit – I’ve been in a bit of a funk that past couple months. I think the weather has a lot to do with it. When it’s gloomy and wet and cold outside, you tend to spend a lot of time indoors, staring at the same four walls all day. It drove me bonkers.

But now that spring is officially here I’m feeling better. I’ve got a pep in my step, I’m smiling more and I feel on top of things.

So let’s resume the monthly goal list, shall we?

This month, I pledge to:

• Figure out what I’m doing with the kids this summer. Summer camp, unfortunately, is financially out of reach for us right now. My husband and I have been talking about our financial goals and spending $2500 for a couple months of camp is not at ALL in the budget. So I’m doing my version of “Mommy Camp,” come hell or high water. I figure that’s why I work from home, right? To be able to make my own schedule and save us a couple of bucks over the long run. I’ll be planning one to two field trips per week, with activities to help fill in the gaps. How I will make this work with my business plans I haven’t figured out yet. But I will. 
• Finish my next book. It’s going to be awesome. Wait and see!
• Volunteer some time with YoungLives Cleveland. This is a group of teen moms and their babies that I’ve wanted to work with forever. I’ll be visiting with them this month and getting to know them a bit better. It’s time to give back!
• De-clutter the house. We officially have TOO MUCH STUFF. I’ve been slowly but surely getting rid of things that have been cluttering up our house for the past five years. I’m starting with the baby stuff and donating it to a local young mom baby shower program. Feels good to get stuff out my house and into the life of someone who can really use it.

I think that’s enough for May. I’m still in my graduate school detox so I don’t want to overdo it!

Do share – what’s on your plate for this month?

The post GoalDiggin’: My Goals For May 2013 appeared first on The Young Mommy Life.

Source: Flickr | Nick

It’s been really rainy here the past few days and my son, who loves nothing more than to be playing outside, has been really grumpy that we’re stuck indoors.

“This is boring,” he said to me earlier this morning. “I hate the rain.”

Instead of giving in to his mini-tantrum, I tried to instead get him to look at the bright side. “Have you ever heard somebody say, ‘April showers bring May flowers’?”

“No,” he replied, still grumpy.

“Well, it means that in April, it tends to rain a lot so that all the flowers can bloom, the grass can grow and the trees can have leaves again.”

He got quiet so I kept going. “When it rains, it means God is watering all the plants and flowers so everything can grow. The food we eat needs to water to grow, the grass you run on to play needs water to grow, and if you want to have any shade outside, then the trees need water for the leaves to grow.”

“So…rain is good?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said. “Rain is good.”

Even though I just told my son that rain is good, truthfully, I was tired of it too. I get tired of having my son’s energy confined to the four walls of the living room. I get tired of having to tell my kids over and over again that no, they can’t ride their bikes because it’s pouring rain.

With any storm that comes into your life, you may be tired of it. You may be tired of waiting to make more money. You might be tired of school. You might be single and lonely and ready for someone to share your bed at night. You may be unhappy with where you are in life and are wondering when anything is going to change.

But just like the rain, it’s a period of growth. Sometimes we are “stuck” in a phase because we haven’t gained what we need to truly be able to move into the next phase of our lives. Sometimes we haven’t gotten that promotion because we haven’t learned how to make good financial decisions with the money we already have. Sometimes we are still single because we need to understand ourselves a little better before we can share our lives without else. Sometimes….we have to wait for the storm to pass and to busy ourselves with growth in the meantime.

Instead of being frustrated, ask yourself what you have control over and work within that. You may not be making as much money as you’d like, but maybe you can cut some expenses. Maybe you’re tired of spending weekends alone—call a friend and ask them to meet you at the mall, or just hang out by yourself. Maybe you want to move out of your neighborhood—spend some time researching other places to move and make sure you can afford it.

While you’re at a standstill, be  still. Learn something. Figure out the lesson. Then you can move on.

The post Lessons From My Kids: The Beauty In Waiting For Storms To Pass appeared first on The Young Mommy Life.

Last night I had the pleasure of being a guest on HuffPostLive, the live streaming channel of Huffington Post for a discussion about unplanned pregnancy and how it can change the dynamic of a family. I’ve written about my unplanned pregnancies (yes, both of my children were blessed surprises) and was happy to share my thoughts with viewers. Check me out below. My story starts around the 8:40 mark.

The post VIDEO: Talking “Oops” Babies With HuffPostLive appeared first on The Young Mommy Life.

I used to say it every day: “Damn, I’m so tired!” (Who am I kidding? I still say it every day.)

Every freakin’ day I’d wake up, stretch a little bit and then fight the urge to lay back on the bed just for FIVE.MORE.MINUTES. I’d search for “fatigue” on WebMD and don’t you know that’s a symptom of practically EVERY disease/disorder that’s out there?

Before I started getting paranoid and thinking I have some combination of incurable diseases, I had to look at all the things I was doing that was keeping me from getting a good night’s sleep. My bedtime routine isn’t perfect yet, but I’ve made a few changes and I’m much more likely to pop up when my alarm goes off, rather than looking wistfully at my pillow and wishing we could be together. Here’s what I changed – maybe a few of these might be the key for you to wake up rested:

1) Go to bed earlier. It is easier said that done, am I right? But I would stay up until 1 a.m., wake up at 6 and wonder why I was always so tired. GET MORE SLEEP is number one on the list of getting more energy for good reason.

2) Look at your diet. I love carbs—pasta, potatoes, bread. And I especially love them at night. There’s something about a big ol’ bowl of spaghetti for dinner that just warms you from the inside out. But I had to look at how food was affecting my energy levels. How did I feel after I ate that spaghetti? How did I feel after I ate an apple? What if I drank some fruit punch? And then compared that to how I feel after drinking water. Don’t eat foods that are too heavy and make you sluggish. I try to limit any heavy foods to prior to 3 p.m. I make sure to load up on any veggies I’m having for dinner and try to drink a ton of water to help my digestive system do its thing.

3) Exercise. Still need to work on this one but I’m getting there. I’ve been walking more frequently and trying to use that time as my therapy, the place where I can go to clear my mind. Fewer worries = less time tossing and turning.

4) Darken your room. I had a sleep mask laying around the house and decided to put it on one night as a last-ditch effort to improve my sleep. I ended up sleeping for 10 hours. That thing is the TRUTH. Blocks out the light and makes your body relax much faster.

5) Have more sex. Maybe it doesn’t work the same way for you, but good sex is like popping a Xanax. Mellows you all the way out.

What would you add to the list? Anything I missed?

The post For The “Too Tired” Mamas: 5 Ways to Get More Energy appeared first on The Young Mommy Life.

I’ve been asked by Jared The Galleria of Jewelry to participate in its “Mom Moments” sweepstakes for the month of April, leading up to Mother’s Day. Each week they will be exploring different stages of motherhood and will give followers the chance to win some beautiful jewelry (including a few pieces selected by yours truly!).

Each of the four bloggers selected to participate chose two pieces of jewelry for the sweepstakes. Here are mine below:

Each week, you can win special jewelry prizes by “liking” the Jared Facebook page and then registering to enter the sweepstakes by clicking on the “Mom Moments” sweepstakes icon. Five prizes will be awarded per week. You can receive additional sweepstakes entries by sharing your best “mom moments tips” for the motherhood stage we’re discussing on the Facebook page that week or for inviting your friends to enter as well.

One lucky grand prize winner will receive a $2,000 Jared The Galleria Of Jewelry shopping spree (awarded as a gift card). The grand prize winner will be drawn on or around May 13, 2013, and notified later that month.

Twitter users who follow @ThatsJared and tweet using the hashtag #MomMoments will have a chance to win a separate weekly prize – a piece of jewelry they can personalize. One prize will be awarded each week. Best of luck to you!

Disclaimer: Please note that I am receiving prize(s) from Sterling Jewelers Inc. at no cost for participating in this blogger challenge.

The post Join Jared The Galleria Of Jewelry For Its Mom Moments Contest appeared first on The Young Mommy Life.

Welcome to my “new” video series, the Young Mom Summits. Think of these as mini conferences/events, where you can hear from some inspiring people who will give you encouragement on being your best self. I’m working to re-brand this series so people can truly walk away feeling like they’ve learned something and are a better person for talking the time to participate.

Episode THREE in the series features Dr. Melanie Watkins, a former teen mom turned psychiatrist. I “met” her via Twitter a few weeks ago (when she just happened to retweet one of my posts) and I have been a huge fan from the get-go. I read her book, Taking My Medicine: My Journey from a Teenage Mother to a Physician, in a matter of hours. The book had some moments where my mouth dropped open and I had to hurry to figure out what was next. I cheered for her and I felt her pain.

So I knew I had to talk with Dr. Watkins (she told me I could call her Melanie but um, I respect her grind for that degree too much!). And I knew I had to share it with you.

No more babbling from me – here’s episode three of the Young Mom Summit:

If you’re interested in purchasing her book, check it out here. 

The post VIDEO: Young Mom Summit – From Teen Mom To M.D. appeared first on The Young Mommy Life.

My daughter attends art classes at my college every Wednesday. I enjoy dropping her off and roaming the campus with my son for an hour and a half while she gets her creativity on. It’s my time in the midst of a crazy week to just be with my son. No client emails. No Facebook. No jotting down ideas of my next big project – just Mommy and son time.

Yesterday during our time together, we walked to the track where a few runners were doing laps. There were a few hurdles still up on the track and I was about to instruct my son to go around them when he took off running full speed.

Since he knows the hurdles are about as tall as he is, he didn’t try to jump over them, but instead he instinctively ducked under each one and kept moving.

He went around the track and when he came to more hurdles, he did the same thing. I sat there and watched him tackle each obstacle that was in his path—a puddle, some rogue pieces of wood, mud. He ducked and dodged like a pro.

There was a balance beam out there as well and he attempted to cross it. I reached out my hands to help him balance and he told me, “I can do it myself. I’ve been practicing.” He fell off and looked at me. “I can do this! I won’t give up!”

I almost couldn’t take how determined he was being. It was like he knew that whatever he put his mind to, he would be able to do it.

Isn’t it amazing how much confidence we have as children, only to have to bashed out of us by the time we reach adulthood? How many of us stay in “safe” jobs because of the economy? How many of us want to switch majors but don’t because we don’t think we’ll find a job in the field we really want to be in? How many of us say we want love that strengthens us but we end up settling for a warm body next to us at night?

My biggest wish for my son is for him to keep that confidence, that optimism, that determination. To always be sure of himself and his abilities. How many of us can say we’ve succeeded at that? How many of us get defeated at the sight of a few obstacles, not paying attention to the fact that we can simply go around or under them, much like my son did with the hurdles.

My son reminded me today that I’m stronger than I give myself credit for and that determination is the key to success.

Get it in your head that you will not lose and guess what? You won’t.

The post Lessons My Kids Taught Me: Believe You Can And Then Go For It appeared first on The Young Mommy Life.

This summer will be my sixth wedding anniversary. On June 9, it will have been six years since we stood there and pledged to spend the rest of our lives together.

I was 21, he was 26.

I remember being absolutely giddy that I would soon be his wife, that we would be a “family” in the legal sense of the word, that I would be able to stand in front of family and friends and share why this guy stole my heart.

Looking back, I can admit that I had a very romanticized view of what marriage is.

I wanted to marry my husband since the moment I met him. I was 17 and we happened to lock eyes during orientation at my dorm. I told my roommate (later a bridesmaid at our wedding) that I wanted to marry that guy and give him lots of babies.

But I don’t think I went to college looking for a husband. I had just gotten out of a horrible relationship and I was looking forward to a fresh start. But when I met my husband, it was like something greater than myself was pushing me toward him. I can’t explain it, but I instantly knew that he was going to be an incredible part of my future. I had my need for independence but I also had a guy in my life that I thought was husband-material and he treated me like a queen. Literally. I wasn’t going to mess that up.

And four years later we got married.

Being married in your early twenties has its challenges. The most major one being that this isn’t 1953 anymore and it seems like nobody gets married before 30 anymore. I hear people bad-mouth early marriage much in the same way they do early motherhood and since I’ve experienced both (and lived to tell about it!) I figured why not talk about it head-on?

Aren’t your early 20s your time for self-discovery? How do you get a chance to know who you are if you’re with someone else? 

I can’t front here. It has been a big struggle for me to carve out time to discover who I am without the added labels of “wife” and “mother.” But I am fortunate because I had the space to figure that out. I’ve been able to explore things that are interesting to me, to create a career that fits those interests, and my family along to witness my growth.

Don’t you feel like you’ve missed out on the dating scene? Partying?

Prior to getting married, I was never one of those party-til-the-wee-hours type of girls. I had been out to the club a time or two but mostly I found they were too loud, too crowded, too overpriced and filled with guys who weren’t interested in anything but how to get into our pants. Literally. The last time I went with a group of friends, a guy tried to undress my friend on the dance floor. No thank you.

What was the rush? Why get married so soon? 

We had a baby on the way and since we already wanted to get married, we went ahead and did it. We didn’t do a “shotgun wedding,” but instead, waited until after our daughter was born and after I finished college. I wanted to marry my husband because I thought he was a really solid guy.

Would you recommend that other early 20somethings get married? 

I recommend that people do what is right for their situation and their futures. I’m not a big fan of telling people how they need to live their lives or in what order they need to do things. There are definitely benefits to planning children and having all your ducks in a row before you become a parent, but this is real life and life doesn’t always go according to plan.

The post The “Why” And “How” Of Conquering Marriage In Your Early 20s appeared first on The Young Mommy Life.

I rarely, if ever, get time to myself. By “time to myself,” I mean no kids, no husband, no work to keep me company. Just me and my thoughts.

But yesterday, as I drove myself to my OB/GYN for my annual well-woman visit, I turned off the radio and took a deep breath. Because I was alone. And I was indeed going to count this as “me-time.”

A trip in the stirrups wouldn’t typically count as me-time, right? And until this year, I wouldn’t have considered it a “luxury” either.

I was feeling anxious about my appointment because I hadn’t been to my OB/GYN in three years. I just want to mention that this is not entirely my fault. My OB took a new job as an administrator back in 2011 and he stopped seeing patients. I won’t lie — I cried. I absolutely loved having him as my doctor and couldn’t see myself hopping in the stirrups for anyone else. When sitting in the waiting room, I’ve had his other patients ask me who I’m there to see and when I tell them Dr. A, they suck their teeth at me for taking up time with their precious doctor. I can’t even get mad because I do it too. He is incredible. 

As soon as I found out that he returned to his regular practice I was thrilled. But I put off the appointment for two years. Because I was scared.

There’s something about realizing that you have to go to the doctor. Not because anything is necessarily wrong, but because something could be wrong. And prevention and early detection is the key to longevity.

So I decided that I’d much rather suffer a few uncomfortable minutes in stirrups than have my kids go through life without a mom because I was too scared to go. Sucks but it’s true.

Meagan Francis from the Happiest Home wrote a recent post that resonated with me. In it, she talks about how self-care is more than just making time for a pedicure, but includes real health care, something that moms often put off due to busyness:

But while bubble baths, massages, and manicures are wonderful things, they’re no substitute for taking real care of our health. And that can involve messy, uncomfortable, inconvenient, and un-pampering processes like screenings, blood tests, mole removals and mammograms.

No, those things don’t make for cute Instagrams or a fun girl’s nights out. But they are vitally important and we owe it to ourselves to make sure that “self care” includes the uncomfortable, un-fun stuff along with scented lotions and facials.

I’ve made a lot of excuses over the years, telling myself that “I’m fine” and it hasn’t been that long since I’ve had a check-up. But if I’m honest, I’m doing myself a disservice. Yes, it’s uncomfortable. Yes, I’d rather be any place else other than the dentist’s chair or the OB/GYN’s table. No, I don’t feel like  trying to find a babysitter, driving all the way to the doctor, waiting in the waiting room and then undergoing all the tests that say whether or not I’m healthy.

But even if I didn’t want to do it for myself, I’d do for my children.

I know this is hard. (Didn’t I just finish telling you that it took me three years to go back to the OB/GYN and more than that for my dentist’s appointment?) But we are valuable, ladies. Let’s cherish our health in the same way we cherish that new pair of shoes, the new purse, the trip to the Bahamas. Let’s stop the excuses and get our check-ups. We’re worth it.

The post Avoiding The Doctor Won’t Keep You Healthy appeared first on The Young Mommy Life.

A couple weeks ago, I got an email about an amazing opportunity. It was so big that I just closed the email because I wasn’t sure how to respond.

And I let the email sit for three weeks before responding. 

What? Who does that?

Me, that’s who. I’ve written before about how I’ve suffered from self-doubt and fear of moving out of my comfort zone. And I do keep pushing and striving for things I’m dreaming about.

But that doesn’t mean the doubts don’t come. They come almost instantly. Sometimes (most of the time) it’s a whisper. Sometimes it’s a bit louder, particularly if it’s something I’ve never done before. But when I think about all the people I admire, the ones I know and the ones I don’t know, what they all have in common is the fact that they didn’t let fear stop them.

Right now my daughter is six and she’s at the age where other people’s opinions of her as starting to take hold. She’s not as athletic as other kids in her class and so she gets frustrated during gym class. She doesn’t want to be the slowest one. Or the one who can’t catch the ball.

As a result, I’m constantly building her up, letting her know that she may not be the most athletic child but she does have great gifts to share with the world. If she focuses so much on what she can’t do, she’ll be missing out on all the things she CAN do.

And in those moments that I’m talking to her, I’m finding myself absorbing what I say. I have to believe in myself just as much as I tell her to. I can worry that I don’t measure up or I can put my best foot forward and worry less about competing with others.

‘Cause this life ain’t about competition. It’s not about first place or the most followers or the biggest bank account or the best body or the highest GPA. It’s not about that. It’s about YOU. The sooner you realize that your only competition is being better than you were yesterday, the happier you’ll be.

Do you believe in yourself? How deep does it go?

The post Do You Believe In Yourself? No, Really appeared first on The Young Mommy Life.

When MTV first decided to make a show about teen pregnancy, I applauded.

Yes, I know. Call me naive. But that was in 2009. Back when I didn’t know as much as I do now about the media’s reluctance to show teen parents as anything but screw-ups. I tend to think positively about situations so I figured that shining a light on teen pregnancy and its complications could be a good thing for everyone. We could start a new conversation about teen pregnancy and prevention but this time have the voices of teen parents included.

How wrong I was.

I’m not at all happy about the fact that teen parents are left out to dry, as always. I even called for MTV to cancel the show because between Amber and Gary’s domestic violence being played up for the cameras, all of whatever Janelle was going through and even the vitrol experienced by Christinna, the show stopped being about education and turned into exploitation.

That’s why media images are so important, even when you think, “Oh, it’s just entertainment.”

It’s never just entertainment.

People watching this with the idea that teen parents suck (and will always suck, no matter what) only have their views validated. “See, look at the poor decisions they make. Look at how they struggle to have effective communication with their partners. Look how they fail.”

But it’s hard to argue for the opposite treatment, isn’t it? How difficult would it have been to pitch a show about teen mothers that showed struggles, yes, but kept a positive outlook on these girls’ lives? Maybe something like High School Moms, a show that only received a handful of episodes as it took viewers through the halls of a school dedicated solely to pregnant and parenting teens.

Because that would be too much like making teen pregnancy seem “normal.” But guess what? It is normal in the sense that there are more than 700,000 teen pregnancies each year. This is not six or seven girls that America found and can poke fun at for their poor decision-making skills. These are women you see every day—making silly faces at their kids as they shop for groceries, waiting in doctor’s offices with their children, cheering on the sidelines at their child’s soccer games. They are mothers just like everyone else.

So if you’re basing your entire knowledge of teen pregnancy off the handful of episodes you’ve seen of 16 & Pregnant, here’s some more facts/information for you:

1. Read up on Title IX. It’s a federal mandate that protects pregnant and parenting students and guarantees equal access and protection. It’s been on the books since 1972. However, we all know it’s not enforced. For example, look at how pregnant and parenting students in Michigan were denied access to homebound instruction while recovering from childbirth. Title IX was designed to prevent this type of discrimination but it happens every day. And you wonder why teen parents don’t graduate at the same rates as their non-parenting peers.
2. If you think teen pregnancy happens because girls are sluts and boys don’t know better, please read this. Linda Bryant, executive director at Inwood House, a facility in NYC that works with pregnant and parenting teens, breaks it all the way down in a way that everyone understands: “Far too many teen moms have been victims of sexual abuse — an issue often overlooked when we talk about teen pregnancy. Many young women are involved in violent relationships where they don’t have the choice to decide whether or not to become pregnant. Other young parents seek to create their own families because they do not have families who can care for them.”
3. Teen pregnancy rates are decreasing. Some believe (probably because teen mothers have never been more visible in the media) that teen pregnancy rates are increasing and are out of control and 20 years from now we’ll just have a country of uneducated, poverty-striken, violent, unemployed folks running around due to the current rate of teen pregnancy. But it’s not true. See the infographic below:
4. Are people scared to talk to teen/young parents? Really talk to them? I used to be scared to let people know I was a young mother because I didn’t want people to judge me. But I have since learned that if you don’t speak up, people will continue to judge people just like you. So we need to counter those stereotypes. Gloria from Teen Mom NYC just launched a new project, Real Teenage Families, to showcase their stories and to shine light on the fact that when people look at teen parent statistics, it’s best if you don’t believe the hype.

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