But the DVD is much cooler because I can keep it - hold it - play it over and over again.

And now so can you.

I am giving away THREE copies of the Princess and the Frog DVD for you to enjoy with your little ones again and again.

In addition to the movie (which is fabulous just on its own) there are bonus features, including deleted scenes and audio commentary by John Musker and Ron Clements (co-writers and directors) and Peter Del Vecho (producer). There’s also Ne-Yo’s “Never Knew I Needed”music video, and a bayou-style quiz that tests your knowledge of all of
Disney’s beautiful princesses. I’m all in.

If you know me, I like to keep my giveaways simple. A lot of people use giveaways as an opportunity to build their numbers on their social networks, giving them special tweets to send out on Twitter, and a certain number of comments they’re allowed daily.

I don’t really like that, if only because I’m lazy. I don’t have to time to go back and see who’s a fan and who’s not following me on Twitter and who commented four times. Enough already!

(If you’d like to follow me on Twitter and become a fan on Facebook, feel free, but you do not need to do so for the purposes of this giveaway.)

To enter:

Leave a comment saying what is your favorite Disney movie. Always interesting to see what people pick. {Mine is a tie between The Lion King and (duh!) The Princess and the Frog.} The giveaway ends Monday, March 15. DVDs hit stores on March 16th, so winners will receive their DVDs the following week.

Good luck!

I was contacted by a loyal reader, Michelle, who is in the process of creating her own business. After working for years in event planning and management, she’s decided to start her own date planning company. How cool is that? Her proposed company will help you and your significant other plan unforgetable dates.

“The company’s slogan is ‘A Kiss Is The Autograph of Love,’”Michelle says. ”But I really feel like this company will help all the workaholics and not-so-romantic people WOW their mate. Bottom line, date night should be a priority to all couples - that one-on-one time can really make a difference! Even the President finds time to date his wife.”  

Please take a moment to take this survey. It will help her as she plans for her date concerige business, and we should all celebrate another young mom trying to reach her goals of entrepreneurship.

But my brain hurts. I’m struggling. And I don’t want to toss something up there just for the sake of having some words on the screen. So I’m taking a mental break. With work levels high, my kids been needy, my husband coming down with a cold, this upcoming trip to D.C., I’m just short on ideas.

But I’ll be back to my normal self on Wednesday. I just need a good night’s sleep. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

Ahem.

Is this okay? Are we just accepting now that 12-year-olds have sex? I’m having a hard time believing it, even though I consider myself to be pretty open about most things. Ask me do I regret my first time. Yup. Was I too young? Yup. Did I really know what love was when I was a teenager? Nope. Were my friends having sex? Yup.

I would like to think my kids can come and talk to me about anything and we’ll figure out what to do together. But as of right now, I really don’t know what I’d tell them.

Of course I want to encourage them to wait. Did I wait? Obviously not since my daughter is three and I’ve been married for two years. But I know now (hindsight is a mofo) that things would have been a lot different if we had waited until we exchanged “I do’s” or at least been in a more stable place financially and emotionally.

I don’t think being a young mom means your life is over. Not in any way. However, I know it can be hard.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was making $600 A YEAR. I worked like 10 hours a semester. No real job. No real income. But I let my kids motivate me. I work hard. And that makes opportunities happen.

But it doesn’t happen like that for everyone. I had a lot of help. A ton of support. I had a mom who took two weeks off work when I had my daughter (and again for my son) to come help me out and let me get some rest. I had a boyfriend who didn’t flinch when I thrush the urine-soaked pregnancy test in his face, hyperventilating. Everyone doesn’t have that. Without support, you could struggle that much longer and that much harder.

My struggles haven’t been as severe as some of my friends. But I’ve been there on the other end of the phone as they cried about how their child’s father is no good. Or about how they wish he would be more active in their child’s life. As they contemplate whether they’ll stay in a job they hate just because they don’t have any other options. It’s rough.

Do I want my daughter to become a mom at 17, 18, 19? Nope. But if she did, I’d be there to support her.

Am I a hypocrite, since I am supposed to be the ultimate “Go, young mommy, go!” cheerleader? Maybe. But I know that being a mom is one of the most soul-stretching, time-sucking, energy-draining things you can do. It requires tons of patience, love, resilience, faith, empathy, intelligence and savvy. You can’t half-ass it. It’s all or nothing.

It’s very difficult for me to write this blog as just…well, me. As one person. As ONE young mother.

It’s hard to express how much I rely on you all. Without you, this blog is just a screen with words. A pretty screen, but it doesn’t mean anything. I want to not only tell MY stories, but YOUR stories as well, because it isn’t really about me. I use my experiences to make points about the larger view of young motherhood. But without your comments or tweets or Facebook comments, it’s all rather pointless. If I write a post and no one comments, I don’t think, “Aww, man, no one thinks I’m great.” Instead I’m kicking myself, thinking, “Man, that didn’t resonate with anyone. Try harder.”

Same thing with the book. I could’ve written about my experiences as a young mom and tried to pitch it to major publishers that way. But I realized that your stories add value. Add substance. Add experiences that I’ve never had, and it makes a much richer view of the young mommy experience.

So again, I’d like to say THANK YOU to all the readers who make this blog what it is. 2010 is shaping up to be a great year and I want you to own a piece of that. It’s all thanks to you.

I have been invited to go to Washington, D.C. for the National Crittenton Foundation’s annual meeting.

Some of you might be like, “Who? What? Huh? Why is this good news?” 

Well, approximately two weeks from today, I will be speaking to a group of directors from national organizations that work to empower young women. We will be meeting with executive directors. Congressional leaders.

I will be talking to them about my story: why I blog, what wonderful, strong women I’ve met while blogging, and what I hope to accomplish with this blog.

And the book. I will be talking about the book, getting insight from the girls who frequent these agencies on what they would like to see in the book.

In addition to my story, there will be a few other women speaking, including Amina Robinson, an actress from the movie Precious; Lalita Booth, a woman who went from kinship care to the streets to Harvard; and Lisette Orellena, chair of the alumnae group. All promise to be dynamic speakers - I hope I can rise to the occasion!  

This is a huge stepping stone for me. While there, we will be discussing some national policy changes, including a coordinated support network for pregnant and parenting young women (through age 24) and how to begin to build that network.

This is what I’ve always wanted to do. Help create change for young mothers everywhere. I think this blog is a great start and I will never give up on the community we’ve built here, but it’s time. It’s time to get bigger, to grow larger, to make a real impact in the way young mothers are portrayed, perceived and acknowledged.

I’m ready to take our issues to D.C. - are you with me?

Jen (After the Alter)

Latoya

Alexia

Thanks, ladies! I’ll be contacting you soon for your addresses. Congrats!

(Be sure to check back here tomorrow for an exciting update about the book. I’m geeked!)

Okay, got it? I love ‘em. Don’t question it.

That said, there are days when they are running around, screaming, pushing, making messes, that I go to my “happy place” and daydream about the glorious times ahead I’m going to have in 2026, when my youngest hits 18. I’ll be 40 and ready for the new phase in my life.

Yeah, I’ll miss the cuddles, the cute little outfits, the giggling for no reason, the wonder in their eyes when they learn something new, the ability to balance both of them on my hip. I’ll even miss the car seats and strollers and sippy cups, all the baby/kid crap I’ve shelled out thousands for over the past three years. (Although I will NOT miss the daycare bills – at all.)

I’ve given it some thought and here are my 10 things I’m planning to do once I have an empty nest:

1. Get me a tiny car. One that holds like one and a half people. Like one of those Smart cars. Better yet, I’ll just ride my bike everywhere. Kids need me to help them move – I’ll just rent a van.

2. Make nothing but my favorite meals. My husband hates tomatoes. My daughter doesn’t really like meat. My son hates green beans and broccoli. Whenever I’m cooking – which happens to be one of my favorite things to do – I’m always making substitutions and trying to remember who eats what, who’s allergic to what, and how someone likes it prepared. When the kiddos move out, it’s all Tara, all the time. (Yes, my husband will still be there, but he’s pretty laidback as long as food is hot and on the table when he’s hungry.)

3. Take two annual week long vacations. Even if I gotta spend them at home. Without having to worry about babysitters, I figure this should be easier to do.

4. SLEEP!!! I plan on becoming a Master of sleep when my kids hit their teens, but when they move out? Oooh, wee, I’m gonna get my Ph.D in unconscious living!

5. Get some beautiful, non-kid-friendly furnishings. In my house now? Multicolored carpet, stain-resistant couches, several different tablecloths we have to rotate almost daily once they get stained, a broom in every corner, slipcovers on the major furniture. I want my house to look pretty and put together, not like the dwelling of a couple who is trying to ward off complete and utter destruction by two knee-highs.

6. Find me a baby to snuggle whenever I get that “Aww, I miss the baby stage!” feeling. Hopefully my sisters will have popped out a kid or two around this time, so I can get that feeling out my system and have my uterus all to myself at the end of the day. My reproductive system is on LOCKDOWN.

7. Re-rekindle my relationship with my husband. We already started having weekly date nights and our intimacy is on point right now. We’re working it out, even with two little ones clamouring for most of our time and attention during the week. But once the kids get older, I look forward to our relationship deepening and maturing even more. We’ll be at 20+ years of marriage and both will be in our early 40s. What does that mean? I don’t know but I’m excited to find out.

8. Admire our handiwork. With any luck, our kids will be intelligent, kind, self-sufficient people by the time they leave our house. That will come after years of in-your-face parenting, correcting little mistakes and pointing out the lessons in the big mistakes. I’d like to think my husband and I can give each other a big high five and say “Great job! We rock!”

9.Shh. You hear that? It’s called “quiet.” And I’m gonna enjoy every second of it.

10. Cry. Yup, I’ll probably be a wreck when they leave. It will take me a little bit of time to figure out how to adjust, but I’ll be real. I know I’m gonna miss my babies. Even if they’re not babies anymore.

I know you’ve thought about it - what are planning to do when your babies grow up and move out?

 I can’t concentrate since my husband and I had another argument about my son (from a previous relationship). The issue is this…Is it wrong for me to give small daily rewards to my child to encourage good behavior?  I say it’s working - so what’s the problem? His beef is it’s “bribery” and kids are supposed to just be good, without expecting any reward.  

He fails to recognize my son does have some type of developmental issue, exactly what I don’t know. It could be ADHD, auditory/conceptual/comprehension delay. I’ve had him tested but he’s highly intelligent and charming so no one finds anything. He does not behave well especially in a classroom setting and usually disrupts the class daily. He’s 6 and has been suspended for behavior twice.

My husband was raised in a strict Southern family where just looking stupid would get you choked. Although these practices have been tried with my child it only fuels him to act out more in school. So if I finally find something that works after trying for 3 years, why question and demerit my efforts?  I need to add I am 6 months pregnant as well so emotions are all over the place. I’d love to hear someone else’s prospective on dealing with a special needs child or any child. What are your and your followers thoughts?

This has so many different components that I don’t know where to begin. On one hand, they are married and they need to be on the same page as far as how they see fit to raise their children, especially with a new kid on the way. On the other hand, you needn’t give up your values and ideals than you gained from your childhood if you feel strongly about their validity. I tried to assure Patrice that I am in no way an expert on parenting, but that I have some wise readers who will be happy to give their insight on this issue.

What do you think? Do you agree with her husband, and think that rewarding him is the same thing as bribery? Or is it okay for her to reward her son if it keeps him in line and nothing else has worked? Patrice will be checking in during the day to see the comments. Let’s make sure we help her out!

If you have a parenting dilemma you’d like to pose to the masses, be sure to contact me. I’d love to have your question featured.

Well, I just don’t have it in me right now. I’m tapped out, too.

So I figure I’ll let you know what you can look forward to NEXT week. (Go ahead and say it. “You’re a lazy bum.” Got it out of your system? Good.)

• I’ll be posting the winner of the Sade giveaway. Three lucky readers will win the Sade’s new CD, Soldier of Love.
• I’ll be announcing some big news concerning the book. You know, my third baby.
• I’ll be spotlighting a mom who inspires me. (Could it be you? Why, yes, it could.)
• I’ll be (fingers crossed) announcing another giveaway.

So I have a lot going on next week. Be sure to check back for more exciting updates. As always, you can follow me on Twitter and check out the group on Facebook for more things young mommy related. (And even if you’re not a “young mom” you are welcome to join!)

Truthfully, I told her, I just remember being really hungry and really tired. Like, I wanted to eat and then promptly pass out. All this diaper changing, feeding, burping, not sleeping, crying (me and baby), feeding, pooping, feeding, bath, not sleeping mess was wearing me out EARLY. I had mastitis probably in week two and three, and all I really wanted have a “back-up mom” on hand to help me take care of this kid.  

So I was no help. Gave a weak recommendation of some comfy pajamas and nice slippers (both of which made me feel pretty in the hospital…and all the nurses knew I had a girl because I was dressed head-to-toe in pink).

So can you help her out? I posted this question on our Facebook page, but feel free to leave your answers here too. What would make a great gift for a new mom? A gift certificate to her favorite restaurant? Some DVDs for the late night breastfeeding sessions? A gift card to her favorite clothing store?  An offer to babysit?

Leave your thoughts in the comments. Hopefully your suggestions will make one mom really happy

One of the best days of my day is when I get new comments or messages from members. This warms my heart.

So on Friday, Hailey Christine Roloff posted an item about her new site, Fighting Statistics. She designed it as a place where young parents can get together without judgment and get inspiration to help with their daily lives. In her words:

“This is our place to share our stories, give each other advice, as well as inspiration and hope.”

She inspires me because I love a woman who is a go-getter, who sees a need and goes out to fulfill it. She is a young mom herself, with a darling 3-year-old daughter.

I love what she has to say about young motherhood - it’s hard, but it’s worth it and we can be successful if we work at it.

“I wanted to start this site to get teen mothers to come together as one. We can all support each other in our efforts to succeed in our lives and our children’s future. The statistics out there are proof enough that it is hard, but we can’t give up. Let’s make our kids proud and overcome the nasty stereotypes that people put on us!”

So for all you teen moms who are looking for a place on the internet to call home, head on over to her and make yourself comfortable. Tell her the Young Mommy sent you!

Since I don’t think either one of them are on any type of happy pills (I could be wrong), they must have figured out some way to approach life challenges and conquer them without losing their sanity or sense of self.

So I did a little digging on the Duggars and landed on their website. I scrolled through it. “Hmmm…updates on the show…oh, they have a book out…look, there’s some recipes….” Then I found this, their list of household guidelines.

To have 19 kids and keep your house running smoothly, you’ve got to have rules, though these “guidelines” seem less like rules, but more like how a family is SUPPOSED to act:

“Never argue, complain, or blame. Quickly admit when you have done wrong and ask for forgiveness (even if you were only 10% at fault). Don’t wait till you’re caught.”

“Be attentive and look for ways to serve others with sincere motives and no thought of self-gain.”

How can you find fault with that? So I’ve decided to take the Duggars lead and come up with a list of household guidelines for my crew. Here’s a few:

“Wake up each day with the mindset that you are going to be happy and helpful. Maintain that mindset through the whole day.”

“Take a few minutes each day to ask yourself, ‘Are you being the best person you can be?’”

“Be grateful for even the smallest gestures.”

What say you? What are some household guidelines you’d like to create for your family?

Yup, I was there. Or was I?

See, three days before we left for Orlando, we had to take my daughter in to the doctor. Long story short, she needed antibiotics. For 10 days. And we know that antibiotics can cause diarrhea. (Well, actually, I didn’t know but boy, oh, boy, now I do.)

The day before we left for Orlando (Tuesday), I got hit with the beginnings of the flu. Greeeaaaat. Traveling by myself with a little one, who’s sick as well - “This is gonna be fun,” I told myself sarcastically.

So Wednesday was a bit of highs and lows for me. I was glad we made it to Florida in one piece, but tragically in need of a good solid 5-6 hours in the bed with the help of some NyQuil. We went to the Polynesian, which has to be one of the best “hotels” I’ve been to. It’s the Disney Difference, definitely.

We checked in and I collapsed on the bed. “Am I going to make it to Saturday?” I wondered as I felt my temperature spike.

I wanted to fully enjoy this trip, network, meet new bloggers. But on Thursday, my daughter was sick. Stuck on the potty every 10 minutes it seemed. Calling out for me. What kind of mom would I be (this was a conference for moms after all) if I left her?

So I missed Guy Kawasaki’s chat on the power of Twitter, and my daughter collapsed in the stroller at Epcot, causing us to miss the performance by the Jonas Brothers and dinner by Dinner: Impossible chef Robert Irvine. *sigh* Our Disney trip was cut in half, not to mention the weather was so sucky that I’m sure it didn’t help matters.

I had no hesitation about missing a few sessions so I could give my daughter some extra attention. I am a mother first and foremost. But yeah, I did feel a little left out on Friday when all the other moms walked out of the resort together, linking arms and exchanging ideas on how they were going to create a new project together, and I felt like I hadn’t met anyone yet.

I did meet some cool people at breakfast and during the amazing lunch (I love food - can you tell?). I sent my tweets, and visited the park, got to see Chris Brogan and Kathy Ireland in action, but mentally, I just wasn’t there. My mind was on my daughter. Was she feeling better back in the room? I know my sister was there with her, but it’s just not the same when you want Mommy.

As much as I was enjoying the hilarious tales from Maryellen Hooper (go visit her site - she’s guaranteed to make you laugh), I couldn’t wait to rush back to the resort to scoop my little one up. Luckily, by the time I got back, she was fine. Happy, in fact. I felt good.

I wanted our Disney trip to be perfect. I wanted her to meet Mickey and Minnie and get some mouse ears and “oooh” and “ahhh” over the room and enjoy some warm weather. But life’s not perfect, you know? It’s okay to realize that.

Even if you have to go all the way to Disney to do it.

*Disclosure: I paid a conference fee that covered my hotel, park tickets, and certain meals. I paid my own expensive as hell transportation to and from Disney.

I was NERVOUS.

My daughter (who’s 3) is, um, particular. Like, she’s not this curious little girl who’s in awe of the world and wants to go explore it. Nope, not really. Leave her in her bedroom with a stack of Curious George books and a juice box and she’ll be straight for a couple of hours.

So the idea of dragging her through the airport, through security, onto the plane, having her SIT on the plane for two hours, then on the shuttle to get the hotel, literally made my face break out.

I started planning for this trip back in December. I figured my daughter is always grabbing my iPod Touch - why not find some apps for her to keep her occupied? (Side note: My daughter tried to play me, asking me why I don’t have an iPhone. What does she know about an iPhone, other than she wants one for Christmas? *shaking my head* Kids today, I tell ya.)

I downloaded Doodle Buddy first. You are basically  just drawing with your finger and you can change colors, add icons, blur, etc. She loves that one, but it’s pretty basic.

So when Lynette from PicPocket Books reached out to me about reviewing their app, it was like a sign from the heavens. PicPocketBooks offers children’s books for mobile devices (including the iPod Touch, which I think is really sweet), and I couldn’t wait to get my hands on it to review. This was about to save my plane trip to Florida.

I received three codes and went to download my books. I didn’t show them to my daughter until we were on the plane, in the air. Once she saw it, she was intrigued. I told you, all she wants to do is read. She cares little about the format. I stuck the little earbuds in her ear, put the volume on low, and watched as she flicked her finger across the screen like a pro, “flipping” the pages of the book. Hard to believe she’s only 3.

She’s learning to read now, so I liked how the words were highlighted as it read to her. And did I mention it saved my plane trip?!?! She particularly enjoyed the book, “I Can Do It Too!” probably because she’s at the age where…well, she can do it too. LOL.

Needless to say, all the books were a hit. Now I have them on my iPod and I can whip them out whenver we have a few minutes to kill. While I received the codes for free, the books are totally affordable, with the most expensive titles priced at $3.99.  

So I have to say a HUGE thanks to PicPocket Books for allowing me to arrive in Florida with my sanity still intact.

I owe you one.