I meet a lot of fabulous women on this blog. It is probably one of the top two reasons why I keep on posting every day. I get inspired and uplifted by your stories and it all makes me what to be a better mother and a better person.

A couple months ago, Jessica and Emma contacted me. (See their smiling faces right over there?) They are the moms behind the blog, Stethoscopes and Sippy Cups, where they are chronicling their journey through medical school.

Both women had their kids while in high school. They’re about to start med school in a couple weeks. When asked if she ever feels like giving up, Jessica gave one of the best answers I’ve ever heard in terms of motivation:

I would say to really sit down and visualize your goals; break them down into smaller components so you are less overwhelmed. What exactly do I mean by this? It is probably best to use an example.

One of the high school parents I have mentored over the years really wanted to be a nurse, but she had many obstacles in her way that were preventing her from achieving this goal. We sat down and made a list together of everything she needed to succeed, ranging from a car to full-time childcare for her daughter. We talked about ways she could obtain each component, such as the use of childcare vouchers or living near public transportation.

She is presently enrolled in college courses and is well on her way to success, but she was initially afraid to take that first step. In her eyes, her situation seemed overwhelming and impossible.

I want to stress to teen parents that they should never be afraid to reach out for help. If you lack a direct support system, there are many wonderful organizations available to you that were created for this purpose. I would also stress to teen parents that they should not be intimidated by time.

Many feel as though it would take too much time and money to complete college, so they forgo education altogether. The time is going to pass regardless; how do you want to spend it?

It’s so true. If you’re scared to do something, or fear that it will take too long, just remember that (God willing), that time will pass anyway. If you think, “Man, by the time I finish school, I’ll be 27,” ask yourself – would you rather be 27 and at your goal, or be 27 and still at the starting line because you never took the first step? Food for thought.

Read the interview with Jessica here. The interview with Emma can be found here.

I find myself on Twitter quite a bit but in truth, it can get a little noisy. Like, too many people in the same room, having different conversations about different topics. I feel like I never “know” anyone on there and it’s hard for me to just jump in on a conversation already in progress.

But when it comes to the seven ladies below, their tweets are always a breath of fresh air. They’re just an all-around great bunch of ladies to know. They have smart tweets, they make me laugh, and they are kind as pie to me, a woman they’ve never met face-to-face. So who are they? Keep reading and you’ll find out why I adore them so:

@YumYucky – How much do I love Josie from YumYucky.com? Let me count the ways. She is funny and she doesn’t hold her tongue in telling you, “Yes, we all need to be active.” BUT – she also acknowledges that being fit and staying fit is hard friggin’ work. She understands, unlike most fitness blogs, that being greedy is a huge obstacle to overcome. Shoot, she likes cake and ice cream just like I do and I love her for keeping it all the real.

@SheenaTatum – Sheena is one of the first young moms I met online, I do believe. She has been supporting her family for a while through her blogging and I knew I wanted a piece of that, so I kept my eye on her. (In the most non-stalker way possible!). Sheena, whether she knows it or not, has taught me a lot about blogging and motherhood and keeping your head above water. I’m very, very glad I know her.

@JasmineRJohnson – I think Jasmine left a comment here a couple months ago and I followed her back to her blog, Mrs.MommyMD. Yes, this young mom is in med school. Girl, what? Go ahead and do the damn thing! **virtual high fives all around** I love reading her blog because she is showing people that ANYTHING can be accomplished. Anything.

@NatashaVianna – She’s funny and she tweets about food a lot – my kind of gal. She’s also a blogger for the Pushback, which is how I met her (I think – I can never remember). She is passionate about her daughter and making her mark on the world. I heart Natasha!

@YUMMommies – This is my girl right here. She just had her second kid, a gorgeous little boy a little over a week ago, but she is transitioning to a mommy of two like a champ! I am seriously in awe because I know it took a good six months for me to find a new rhythm with two kids under 2. She’s just an all-around nice person and she is crazy supportive. Follow her and I bet you’ll find your days are a little brighter. (She also has a really cute line of YUMMommy apparel. Check it out!)

@GradMommy – If you want honesty, please follow Latoya on Twitter, on her blog, wherever. I only found her blog recently (from a comment she left on MyBrownBaby – also a great place for honest conversation) but I am in love. She talks about being a grad student, having two babies, depression and mental illness – everything in one blog. I keep coming back for more.

@YoungFabMama – Of course, this is my girl Alex from MommyGlow.com. She keeps it real about her single mom struggles, but it never gets her down long. She’s thoughtful and kind and – oh! – mom to one of the happiest little girls I have ever seen. Really. She’s stepping up her game and doing more speaking engagements for teen parents (she’s also a blogger for the Pushback like me), sharing her story and letting teens know that, no, it isn’t easy but you have to keep pressing forward to realize your dreams. I’m in awe of her, honestly.

And of course, you can always follow me at @TheYoungMommy (wink).

Any other moms out there that you love following? Let me know in the comments!

I wish I could be as confident and self-assured as our Spotlight mom. Lisa contacted me last week, asking to be in the Spotlight and who am I to say no to someone so sure of her own strength?

I checked out her blog, Confessions of a young mother, and fell in love. She’s so honest when it comes to the realities of motherhood and by giving us a peek into her world, she makes us all feel a little more normal. Sit back and say hi to Lisa!

Name: Lisa Aguilar
Age: 21
Blog name/URL: Confessions of a young mother

Kids (How many? How old are they?): 1 boy. He’s 18 months old.
 
Whenever I have a moment of free time I look forward to… just laying down and doing nothing! But while I’m laying there doing nothing I’m usually thinking of other things that need to get done. So that moment of free time usually turns into something else Joking aside, I do like to blog and I love taking pictures. 
 
My kids make me feel like…. every emotion possible! Sometimes I can feel proud, tired, happy, irritated, excited, and loved all in one day. Being a parent makes you feel like you are on a rollercoaster.

If my kids can only remember one thing I taught them, I hope it’s….You can do anything you set your mind to. It doesn’t matter how big the dream, you can do it.

I feel like a great mom when…my son is smiling. When he’s happy, I’m happy.
 
The most surprising thing about motherhood is… that it comes easy. I wasn’t sure what kind of mother I would be, but the second I saw my little boy after he was born, I felt this overwhelming love for him. I knew that my heart was now his forever. Motherhood can be tricky at times, but love your child and everything else seems to fall into place.

My personal motto is….Don’t give up. If there is a will, there is a way.

One of the reasons I love Twitter is that I can meet cool moms like Dominique without much effort. Our paths just cross, and I find myself chuckling behind my keyboard because they are so funny and make me feel so much better about the latest issue I’m having with my kids.

Dominique is my buddy because, like me, she’s trying to make this writing and motherhood thing mix in a way that leaves her fulfilled. (I’m right here with you, fighting for it with all my might!) Kick back and get to know Dominique – she’s good people!

Name: Dominique Rambert
Blog name: Searching for Freelance Success
Kids: A son turning 2 years this month and another on the way in November.
 
Whenever I have a moment of free time I look forward to… the elusive full night of sleep I haven’t seen in about 2 years.  I also enjoy reading, journaling, and catching up with friends.  I vaguely remember the concept – those people outside family I used to spend so much time with before mommyhood happened.  Yes, I remember….though my phone records don’t always show it.

My kids make me feel like… a hero and a failure. Some days I am on top of the world and so proud of the mother I am, other days I’m beating myself up for not being patient enough or present enough.  I go from feeling like I can do anything (after all, if I can give birth then what can’t I do?) and then feeling like I can do nothing at all – those moments when I can barely get a meal cooked because I have the little one underfoot, or I have missed my third deadline because I’m exhausted from not getting a full night’s sleep.

If my kids can only remember one thing I taught them…I hope it’s to love God and seek Him above all else.  I figure if they can get that lesson everything else will fall into place.

I feel like a great mom when…I make my little one laugh.  It’s the best feeling in the world to watch my son laugh and see him happy.

The most surprising thing about motherhood is… how much it can change you.  Of course I am still the same person fundamentally, but it truly does change your outlook on life.  I had heard other moms say it, but until you’ve experienced it, it’s hard to fathom.  The whole world seems to be a different color after having children.  Dangers that weren’t there are everywhere all of a sudden. Friends’ habits (ie cursing or smoking) may not have been an issue before, but now it is.  Motherhood has a way of seeping into every area of your life – whether you like it or not.
 
If I could invent one thing to make my life easier it would be…a robot maid!  I don’t have to pay it or argue over tips and vacations – just hit the off button when it’s finished for the day.

My favorite way to unwind is… a trip to the spa. I go VERY infrequently because of how pricey it can be, but when I do go, it’s SO worth it.

Want to be featured in my Spotlight feature? Send me an e-mail at youngmommychronicles@gmail.com.

Okay, so who remembers this song?

Ahh, 1992.

I dusted off this song and posted it here to make a point: What about my friends? More to the point – where the heck did they go?

Oh, that’s right. They are off living their lives. One is in New York, another is in Korea, a few more are in Chicago and Florida. As a die-hard Ohio girl, it does hurt to see people pack up and move away, off to new lives in exciting cities, and I still live 30 minutes from where I was born.

I’m not jealous of their lives – I’m happy with what I have – but I wonder if I’m missing something. I get this way every time a Sex and the City movie comes out, because I LOVED that show and its overall message about friendships. True friends accept you and put up with all your bull. They love you despite the fact that sometimes you’re….well, you. You have flaws. And they don’t care. That’s awesome.

I can count on one hand the actual friends I have within driving distance and how many do I see on a regular basis? Eh, maybe one or two. Day after day, it’s the same routine: wake up, get kids dressed, go to work, come home, dinner, storytime, baths, more work, then bed. I see the same three people every day.

I used to make plans with friends to hang out or go shopping or even go to dinner. But with money being tight and I’m feeling so guilty since I spend the majority of the day at work, I usually spend all my free time and money on my kids and doing things with the family.

Do I not have room in my life for friends anymore? But maybe the real question is – do I really miss it? I’m a loner by nature and I have so much on my plate that I can barely string two sentences together for my husband before I pass out each night. Am I too busy for friendship? What does that say about me?

I’d like to blame motherhood for my decline in friendship but really, it’s just life. People move, priorities change and nothing stays the same forever. I do have a number of good friends who support me in good and bad, but I just don’t see them as often as I like. I can work on that.

Has motherhood gotten in the way of your friendships? How do you work around it?

I put a lot of thought into what I could name this blog. At first, I wanted to call it 20somethingmama.com. ‘Cause that’s what I am.

But I vetoed that because one day I won’t be a 20something mom anymore.

I’ll be a 30something mom. Then a 40something mom.

I’ll be a – gasp! – veteran. I’ll know what I’m doing. (Won’t that day hurry up and come?)

But I will forever be a “young mom.” Not young in the sense that I have few candles on my birthday cake, but young in the sense that when I had my kids, when I joined the mommy club, I was a young’un.

When I’m 30, my daughter will be 9, my son 7. When I’m 40, she’ll be 19, almost 20, my son tagging along at 17. Most moms will probably have tweens at that point in their lives. So it’ll still be different. I joke with my sisters that by the time they and all my friends have kids, MY kids will be old enough to babysit and I’ll STILL be looking for moms to hang out with because everyone else will have toddlers.

I want this blog to reflect all stages of young motherhood, even though I focus on moms in the teen-early 20s age range. I have so many moms who are 30+ who stop by, and then they leave because they figure this blog isn’t for them. It IS for them, because they ARE where we will be soon enough.

I had a 30something reader contact me and give me some insight on what life will look like in a decade or so. Christiana had her first kid at 21 and is now 33 with four kids ages 11 to 2:

“I love that I’m young enough to relate to my preteen’s experience in a realistic manner without needing to have a best friend relationship with her or watch an Oprah show to find out what she’s facing.  I interpret the best friend moms as trying to hold on to their youth by having that type of relationship with their daughters.  Us young moms, we won’t need that!! 

I’ve also enjoyed being of a more carefree mindset in my 20s than I think 30-40 somethings are when it comes to enjoying silliness in public with little kids.  I’m often the favorite mom at the party/park because I’m willing to paint my face too, see who can jump farthest off the swing, get buried in the sand, or roll down the hill.”

Sounds awesome to me.

Tell me – have you thought about how your life will change as an older “young mom”?

So I’ve been teasing folks on Twitter and Facebook and on this blog about this good news that I received. So are you ready for it? Here it goes:

I have been invited to go to Washington, D.C. for the National Crittenton Foundation’s annual meeting.

Some of you might be like, “Who? What? Huh? Why is this good news?” 

Well, approximately two weeks from today, I will be speaking to a group of directors from national organizations that work to empower young women. We will be meeting with executive directors. Congressional leaders.

I will be talking to them about my story: why I blog, what wonderful, strong women I’ve met while blogging, and what I hope to accomplish with this blog.

And the book. I will be talking about the book, getting insight from the girls who frequent these agencies on what they would like to see in the book.

In addition to my story, there will be a few other women speaking, including Amina Robinson, an actress from the movie Precious; Lalita Booth, a woman who went from kinship care to the streets to Harvard; and Lisette Orellena, chair of the alumnae group. All promise to be dynamic speakers – I hope I can rise to the occasion!  

This is a huge stepping stone for me. While there, we will be discussing some national policy changes, including a coordinated support network for pregnant and parenting young women (through age 24) and how to begin to build that network.

This is what I’ve always wanted to do. Help create change for young mothers everywhere. I think this blog is a great start and I will never give up on the community we’ve built here, but it’s time. It’s time to get bigger, to grow larger, to make a real impact in the way young mothers are portrayed, perceived and acknowledged.

I’m ready to take our issues to D.C. – are you with me?

How many of you have a Facebook account?

*looks around at all the raised hands*

How many of you are fans of the Young Mommy Life on Facebook?

*a few hands raise*

Now, ladies, can we talk? Sure we can. I don’t blog for the heck of it. I don’t do anything for the heck of it.

I blog because I wanted to change things. I wanted to change the way younger moms were viewed in society. I wanted young moms who were struggling to find people to relate to, to be able to type in www.theyoungmommylife.com and be connected with people who shared her same fears, dreams and goals.

I created our Facebook group (www.facebook.com/theyoungmommylife) as a place where we could talk, have fun, share stories, etc. I really do love the community we’ve built here, but I also wanted it to continue outside of these “walls.” So next time you log in to Facebook, do check us out. If you’re not already a fan, click the little button next to the Page name and join. I don’t want large numbers in the group just for the sake of having a large group. I want moms to connect. Period.

I will do my best to create conversation and give you something to look forward to every day. Now – will you join us?

I love the community we have built here over the past year, but it seems like I am the one that benefits most.

You all come here, leave comments addressed to me and then I respond. I meet tons of interesting moms, but you guys just meet…me. Over and over again.

So in an effort to change that, I decided to try something new. Every Wednesday night at 9 p.m. will be Young Moms night over at Twitter. (Haven’t joined Twitter yet? Please do, if only for me!)

Here’s how this will go down:

Using your twitter username and password, log in at www.tweetchat.com. When prompted to enter the room name, enter #youngmoms. Then you will be able to see everyone’s tweets on one screen. (It’ll be like old school chatrooms – so 1998!)

We can try this and see how it works. We can use this time to discuss issues with the kids, issues with us, issues with relationships – whatever! I will moderate, which means I’ll just throw out questions from time to time. First question: How is everyone saving money these days? Share all your money tips!

I do hope I can see you all there.

I’m @theyoungmommy, in case you didn’t know. Introduce yourself in the comments and I hope to see you tonight!

I guess I forget sometimes that young moms can be found everywhere. Colleges, Fortune 500 companies, even Hollywood.

Which brings me to this week’s YoungMommy Spotlight: Reese Witherspoon.

I loved Cruel Intentions and would watch it every time it came on TV. Reese was so sweet and innocent in her role as the headmaster’s virgin daughter and that damned Ryan Phillippe had to go and have sex with her. *tsk, tsk* I guess filming went very well, because she gave birth to their daughter Ava a year after filming wrapped.

At 23, Reese admits she struggled as a mom, even in Hollywood, the land of nannies. Here are some of Reese’s best quotes:

On being a mom at 23:

“Obviously, this isn’t the time in my life that I would have chosen to do this, but I feel like life gives you these challenges for a reason. I feel so happy and glad to be in the place that I am. I really feel blessed. This is something I need to face and take control of.”

On her own self-esteem:

“I have cellulite. I have stretch marks. I feel intimidated by Victoria’s Secret. Hollywood is one of those endless competitions, but it’s like running a race toward nothing. There’s no winning. You’re never going to win the pretty race. I just want to be the best version of myself that I can be.”

On being totally unprepared for motherhood:

“Before I had kids, I’d never even held a baby. I’d never babysat. I didn’t have any cousins. So the first time I held Ava was the first time I’d ever held a baby in my life! I had that fear of not being a good mom. It took me a long time to feel really comfortable in the role of being a mother.”

 

I think it’s refreshing to hear that everyone struggles with motherhood, even those with oodles of money and fame and access to the kind of support that many of us don’t have. Just goes to show that this mommy gig is harder than we all thought.

My, how I love hearing good news about young mothers. We just don’t hear enough of it!

Meet Lauren Luke, the 27-year-old single mom who has become an internet sensation on YouTube, with 31 million hits worldwide in the past two years.

She had been working a dead-end job that she despised, living with her mom and sister and 10-year-old son, and decided to do something to about it.

She took her passion for makeup and began doing short makeup tutorials on YouTube, showing viewers how to do their makeup like their fave celebrities.

Fast forward a couple years and now Ms. Luke has blown up. She’s launching her own make up line and has a book coming out this year as well. She never intended for things to blow up like they did, but things just happened at the right time.

Let this be a lesson to you. Creating the life that you REALLY want for yourself is totally within your grasp, kids or no kids.

So start small. Do one thing a week that you are really good at, like painting, writing poetry or dancing. Just let your creative juices flow.

I’m not telling you that you will land a book deal in the next couple of years, but who knows? You could be the next big thing, too.

Check out this feature on Ms. Lake and let me know what you think!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxy-TxCXH6Y]

To all those who say that you must give up your career and that the odds are stacked against you once you have kids

Look at Ann Dunham. She was 18 when she had her son, Barack Obama Jr., and 20 when Barack Obama Sr. left the family to pursue studies elsewhere. A single mother at 20, with a biracial son in the 1960s? It’s hard to imagine.

Not only did her son grow up to break all types of racial barriers, but she had a remarkable life as well. She went on to receive her Ph.D, and had a wonderful career in anthropology.

She was able to balance her career aspirations with being a good mother, intensely interested in the best for her kids. President-Elect Obama often recounts the mornings his mother woke him up at 4:30 a.m. to study English while they lived in Indonesia. That’s dedication only a mom could understand.

Read this incredibly long, well-written piece on his mother from Time. She was a remarkable woman.