Okay, I know I’ve confused a bunch of you with today’s post. A little explanation, courtesy of Merriam-Webster:

Worry:

Read all the challenges here. 

Until this point, I’ve been sailing along with this challenge. I bought myself an accessory, I cleaned up my bedroom, I’m doing well.

But today’s challenge is stumping me and I’m not even sure why.

Day #7 – Get a hobby

The trick with this hobby is that it is supposed to be something fun for you. Not something that benefits the kids or makes you money, necessarily, but something that is for you and helps you unwind and deal with the stress that inevitably builds in our lives.

As I’ve said before, I have no hobbies. Unless you count writing, but even that is something I do in the course of a career. I don’t write privately anymore. Everything that my fingers tap out on the keyboard is for public consumption.

So other than that? I have no idea. For like six seconds I started to take up knitting but I felt like it was an old-lady pursuit and I was trying to find something more “hip.”

Then I tried running and that worked until I messed up my knee.

Then I tried Zumba and then I wanted something that was less exercise and more…fun.

So I started baking. I subscribe to a gazillion cooking magazines anyway and it was nice to be able to whip up so many different pies and cakes from scratch. But my “on Sundays I bake” mantra was catching up with my thighs and I had to cut back on how often I baked before I gained too much weight.

So I’m still looking for something to do, something that is just mine and something that’s not too expensive. I came up with a brief list below. See if anything strikes your fancy:

1) Jewelry maker. My girl Brooke from Jewelry Rockstar (she is also profiled in Make It Happen) makes beautiful pieces of jewelry and she makes it look so easy!

2) Running. Train for a 5K, then a 10K, half-marathon, marathon and more. There’s running groups, cute running gear, etc.

3) Learn to play an instrument. I don’t have any particular skills, but I’d like to learn how to play the piano (maybe because I figure I like tapping on the keyboard, it’ll translate musically? I don’t know.)

4) Sewing. So many moms are making one-of-a-kind outfits for their little ones (and some are turning it in a full-fledged business). I’d love to think I could make pretty hair bows or skirts or sweaters for my little ones.

So what’s your hobby? Please give me some more suggestions  

Read the rest of the challenges here.

So. I talk about gratitude a lot. We just had a #SurvivalGuide chat about it a few weeks ago. I shared with you my gratitude project of 2011. And I’m back at it again. Because I know it’s hard to be super positive and happy all the time, especially when you’re having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Day #6 challenge – Write 100 Things You’re Grateful For

Now I know 100 things is a lot. But trust me, after you write this list, you’ll sit back and think, “Hmm…I’ve got a lot going for me in my life. This ain’t too bad.” I took 10 minutes and came up with 25 things. Over the next couple days I’ll add to the list whenever something strikes me.

1. This mild winter weather we’re having.

2. A reliable car.

3. Two healthy kids.

4. Happy husband.

5. Full fridge.

6. Working heat.

7. Having two kids who love school.

8. Netflix.

9. Good friends.

10. Good health.

11. MY house.

12. The fact that I’m only nine credits away from my Master’s degree.

13. A spacious kitchen.

14. Two sisters who are doing their own thing.

15. Two loving parents.

16. My iPhone.

17. A wonderful, supportive  community of moms here at YML.

18. Open doors to new opportunities.

19. Gmail (makes life so much easier)

20. Teachers at my daughter’s school who really know how to make learning fun.

21. Parents who love watching their grandchildren as a way to make my life easier.

22. A handful of work-at-home mom friends who know how life can be when you’re building your career and raising your kids all in the same space.

23. 30 Rock and Parks & Recreation on Thursdays.

24. A growing sense of spirituality and direction in my life.

25. My home office.

Go ahead and list a few things you’re grateful for in the comments. We want to hear ‘em!  

Read the rest of the challenges here. 

The quality of my sleep for the past five or so years has been pretty crappy, as I’m sure you can relate. I put the kids to bed around 7:30, they call out for me around 8 complaining of thirst, I get them to go to sleep, then I settle down to work. I get into a rhythm, I get a snack, I knock out a bunch of work. But then my eyes can no longer stay open and I see the clock is inching close to 1 a.m. I sigh and shut down the computer and pass out in the bed.

Inevitably, one of my kids will awake, screaming, at 1 a.m., because they’re hot/too tired/scared/thirsty/have to pee. My husband doesn’t hear them (uh-huh, sure) so I stumble into their room to see what’s wrong. I pass out again. Then wake up at 6.

I am exhausted 99% of the time. 

And I don’t know if I can do so much about it, being the mother of two young kids and all. My sleep quality is probably going to average between a C- and an F+ for the next few years. My goal, quite honestly, is to wake up and not immediately want to go back to sleep. I’ve set the bar low. So let’s get on to the challenge:

Day #5 – Sleep like a baby 

And by this, obviously I don’t mean wake up every three hours and eat. Although that would be awesome.

Instead, I want us to think about how we put our kids to bed when they are little. Most baby books and pediatricians and wise elders (lol) will tell you to come up with a bedtime routine, something along the lines of a bath, baby massage, breast or bottle, and rocking them to sleep. They’ll come to understand that bedtime is coming and the hope is they will go down without a fight.

But I realize that I am so far from having a bedtime routine that’s laughable. My current routine is to stumble up the stairs and collapse face first on the bed. And I wonder why I’m groggy in the morning.

My new bedtime routine involves:

• Spending 30 minutes to transition from work to bed. No more falling asleep with the laptop on my lap in bed.
• Taking a hot shower before slipping into my PJs.
• Warming up my lotion to give myself a quasi-massage after I get out the shower.
• Keep a good book or magazine on the side table (no textbooks!) to give myself some time to leisurely read.

Read the rest of the challenges here. 

I can admit freely that I am not a “glass is half full” kinda gal. I want to be and I really, really try, but most days I’m shaking my fists and muttering under my breath, “Why can’t anything go right??”

But that changes now. I’ve got a lot on my plate and there’s got to be some way to survive it all. How can I maintain a more positive attitude, keep my focus when things get hectic (which lately has been every damn day), and not melt under the stress?

I asked my sister and she suggested I do some affirmations, short positive statements that you repeat to yourself daily to put you in a more aware and focused frame of mind.

Today’s challenge:

Day #4 – Come up with three affirmations and post them in different places around your house. I’d suggest putting one someplace you will see when you first wake up, and another one someplace you’ll see when you get home from work/school/picking the kids up, etc. But again, this is up to you.

Here are mine:

I always need energy. Always.

In the morning, I’m always dragging a bit, so I figured I’d put these on the bathroom mirror (ignore the dirt) to give myself a boost each morning.

Usually. Most of the time. Doesn't hurt to repeat it.

I posted this one on my kids’ bedroom door, to give me a quick reminder before I open their bedroom door in the morning. I’m hoping this will keep me in the “It’s a blessing to be their mama” mindframe, versus the “Lord, if these kids say, ‘Mommy, can I have…’ one more time I’ll scream” mindframe.

Do share: What are your affirmations?

Our challenge is coming right along. Make sure you check out the challenges from day #1 and day #2!

Day #3 – Identify a daily pick-me-up.

When life is getting to be a bit much (the kids won’t stop screaming, you got stuck in traffic, your husband/boyfriend is getting on your nerves), what do you do? How do you relieve that stress?

Two things to note:

1) It has to be pretty accessible. Your daily pick-me-up thing can’t be running off to Vegas or taking a road trip. It has to be something you can reasonably fit in within the day.

2) It has to be affordable. If you feel your stress melt away during a $60 full body massage, that’s great – but I don’t even know you and I know you can’t afford to do that every day. So pick something that’s budget-friendly and will get you back on the happy side of life in no time.

My pick-me-ups? Well, I don’t mind if I do.

1) Scrubs on Netflix. Love, love, love this show. Watching med school students fumble their way through hilarious mishaps? Oh, yes.

2) Sex and the City reruns. I get lost in the shoes, in the friendships, in NYC. It’s great escapism for an hour or so.

3) 30 minutes on the elliptical. I hate it so much, but I feel great when I’m done.

4) Hot chocolate or tea. Something about holding a warm cup in my hand makes me feel nice and cozy and helps melt the stress away.

Your task? Identify one (or two!) pick-me-ups that you can implement the next time you got so much stress you can’t even think straight. Share your favorite pick-me-up in the comments!

Sometimes in the mornings, I can count five negative statements before a positive one rolls off my tongue.

“Ugh, my hair is too dry.”

“Shouldn’t have eaten that cinnamon roll.”

“When’s the last time I painted my toenails? They look a mess.”

“My boobs just ain’t what they used to be.”

Enough is enough!

I want us to start thinking and speaking positively about ourselves.

Day #2 challenge is to write yourself a love letter.

Doesn’t have to be a long letter, but long enough to make you feel thoroughly excited to be…you. Here’s my letter below. If you chose to publish yours, feel free to link to it on the comments, or even paste it in the comments below:

Dear Tara, 

2011 was a doozy for you. We can admit that, right? You struggled a bit with the new reality of being self-employed and of being the full-time caretaker of two young kids. But guess what? You did it. You wrote a book. You published 175+ blog posts. In the last six months of the year, you edited 25 manuscripts and volunteered in your daughter’s classroom numerous times. 

You make sure everyone is taken care of and you do it well. You have no problem sacrificing your time or sleep or money to make sure your family has what they need. You are a generous person with a heart the size of Texas. You love hard and you never stop thinking of ways to be a better woman, wife, sister and friend. That counts for a lot. 

I want you to ease up and cut yourself some slack. You’re awesome. And every day you should know that. 

Go on and write yourself a love letter. Let’s see how you feel after you write it. 

Day #1 challenge update – So I went to Target and bought some nail polish. This is a big deal because it’s OPI nail polish, not the cheap $2 (or lower) kind that I usually get. So I splurged on myself – it felt great!

I had a meltdown over the weekend due to some mounting stress that I had no outlet for.

You see (and this is hard to admit), I have no life outside of my children and my husband. I rarely hang out with my friends anymore, I’m working long hours and I spend 80% of the day with a 5-year-old and a 3-year-old. Don’t get me wrong – I love my kids and my family is thriving right now.

But I’m not thriving. Big things are happening, sure, but in terms of my self-care, things have been lacking a bit.

So I’m introducing a new self-care challenge this week. It’s been two years (really?) since my last Happy Mom challenge and I feel the need to do it again.

Join me on Twitter this week with some fun ways to take care of yourself first.

Day #1 challenge - Get a new accessory. 

Depending on your budget, it might not be possible to go shopping so often. But you can usually squeeze out $5 for a cool bracelet or pair of earrings. Check out some Etsy finds:

So much of motherhood is stressful. The baby pooped right as you were ready to head out the door, you forgot to pick up diapers and now your kid is sitting in a roll of paper towels while you run to the store. You snap at your partner because he decided the five minutes before dinnertime was the perfect time for him to veg out on the couch watching SportsCenter (YoungDaddy, I’m talking to you.)

It is precisely when you seem to be having one too many of these days in a row when you need to plan a day with your kids. I know you’re thinking, “I spend every day with them – what are you talking about?”

When was the last time we planned something for our kids? I don’t mean signing them up for a class or taking them on a playdate. I mean playing a whole day of fun stuff to do. Like a date.

Take your kids to the movies. Give ‘em some popcorn. Take ‘em to the mall, and then out to dinner. Go to a museum, or a special event that’s in town. Go to Chuck E. Cheese, if you can stand it. Make a special date with your kids and let them help you plan the activities for that day. Make it fun. Let them pick out a special outfit and make sure you look “special” too.

Sometimes we need to get out of the day-to-day drudgery and shake things up with something new. I try to “date” my kids at least once a month. Just me and my babies. No TV, no Twittering, no writing, no blogging. Just my babies.

So your challenge: Plan a Mommy and Kids Day. Let me know what you get into.

Well, this is the last challenge. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! I’m more well rested, my boobs look better and my toes are super cute. If you missed a challenge, find them all here.

I don’t know what it is, but a good foot rub can almost be as good as an orgasm. (I said, almost.)

Afterward you have that same light, tingly sensation flowing throughout your lower half and that inexplicable, “Honey, can I make you some breakfast?” desire. Whenever my husband would give me a footrub (and damnit, I don’t know why those offers only come once every five years), I would be floating around as light as a ballerina for the next day or so.

You figure, you’re on your feet so much as a mom, and by the end of the day your feet are hot, sweaty and in need of some attention. But how many of us make it a regular thing to do a quick foot rub before bed, or better yet, soak our feet and slather on some magical foot cream guaranteed to have our soles baby smooth by morning? Not many of us, I’m guessing.

So here’s your challenge: Do something to pamper your feet before bed tonight. Even if it’s just letting the bathtub fill up one or two inches and soaking them in there. (True story: I used to soak my feet in the sink. Don’t judge me. I’d sit on the counter, fill the sink up and soak ‘em. Granted, I wear like a size 5 1/2 shoe, so not everyone’s feet will fit comfortably.) Grab that nail polish from the first challenge and paint your toes pretty. 

Here’s some of my favorite products for foot-rub worthy feet:

1. St. Ives Apricot Scrub – Is this the best multiuse product ever? I use this scrub all over my body, not just on my face. I actually prefer to use it on my body because I think it’s a little thick for my face. It smells positively delicious and the best part is that it’s available everywhere and it costs $6 max.

2. HoMedics Footsoak Tub. Now, on the website, it says it’s $50, but I’ve never seen it for more than $39 at the stores. So go check it out. I love it because it has attachments that allow you to soak AND scrub the dead skin off your feet at the same time. The jets from the water feel like someone is softly stroking your feet. (Oooh, la, la!)

3. Vaseline, plastic wrap and socks. This is pretty old-school, I think. After I do the scrub and soak my feet, then I usually slather my feet with Vaseline (or another really thick cream), wrap my feet in plastic wrap, then slip on some socks and go to bed. It is important that you are ready to go to bed before you do this; otherwise you will be sliding all over your floors. Wake up in the morning and your feet will be baby smooth. LOVE it!

Did you pamper your tootsies? Let me know in the comments!

For more on the Happy Mom challenge, click here.

Welcome to the Happy Mom challenge. For more on this series, click here.

My purse is a mess right now. Like, seriously. I can’t find anything, it takes me more than four seconds to hoist it up on my shoulder because it’s so heavy, but the worst part of all is that I can’t seem to stop myself. Right now, I have a big roomy purse, big enough for all my essentials and then some.

What’s in my purse right now? Let’s see…

• wallet
• loose dollar bills
• iPod car adapter
• day planner
• “thoughts” notebook
• loose receipts
• cell phone
• two AA batteries
• six random business cards
• empty makeup bag
• small felt baggie that’s supposed to hold my Flip camera
• empty Ziploc bags that used to hold my kids’ snacks
• two pairs of gloves
• my work cell phone
• my daughter’s almost empty inhaler I carry around for emergencies
• umbrella
• car keys
• feminine products
• a bottle of Victoria’s Secret Cranberry spritz
• a jump drive

This is actually a good list, because I emptied my purse last week. This is actually what I consider to be the “essentials.” Since I have what I (and others) call a “suitcase,” EVERYTHING ends up in there and it usually takes me a few days to get everything that’s not needed out and in its proper place.

I notice whenever I do clean my purse, I feel better. I feel more organized and more….ready to go. I can find things when I need them and I’m not fooling around wasting time when my time is better spent kicking ass and taking names. You know?

So this is your challenge for this lovely Friday: clean out your purse. Get rid of those loose scraps of paper, grab all the change at the bottom and put it in the piggy bank, organize your wallet. Little changes add up to big changes, ladies.

I found myself in a rut last year, as moms sometimes do.

I would wake up, get my kids dressed, go to work, come home, make dinner, feed my kids, bathe my kids, read stories to my kids, tickle my kids, give my kids goodnight kisses, and then tuck my kids into bed. Then I’d go to my computer to work to bring in additional income to take care of my kids. Every day. The same thing.

But then I started meeting with my friend Arlice for monthly “Writer Mama” meetings at our local Borders, where we plot how exactly we’re going to take over the world. (Oh, yes, it’s coming and wait ’til you hear about Arlice’s project! It’s gonna change the game for everyone!) A newbie at this motherhood stuff, I began soaking up some of the wisdom she has gained over the years as a young, savvy mama of four.

My girl had an obssession with lattes. Always got one whenever we met. She told me she frequently stopped at Borders before heading home, making it her own little happy hour spot.

I admit I never understood how she could do it.  I was overwhelmed with my two kiddos – she had FOUR. Wouldn’t the house fall apart if she wasn’t home ASAP? Wouldn’t the kids drive her overwhelmed hubby up a wall, leaving him ragged by the time she got home? How could I sit and leisurely flip through magazines knowing good and well my kids hadn’t seen me all day?

But then I realized – she had it right. She had figured out a way to keep her finger on the pulse of what was important in her life. She needed that time to recharge and refocus so that when she did go home, she was able to give her all to the four kids who demanded her attention.

I tried it a couple times and I was pleasantly surprised at how much more patient and calm I was when I got home. I was still in a blissful state by the time the kids started up with their “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, may I please have…?”

So this is your challenge: Find somewhere to go before you head home. For one day, have your own happy hour before you go home and become Mommy. Now, you could do like Arlice and read to your local bookstore, grab a latte and flip through the latest issue of insert-the-name-of-your-favorite-magazine-here. Or, heck, you can stop at the gas station, grab a drink and sip it in the parking lot. These don’t have to be elaborate plans. Just something to give yourself time to shift from one role to another.

Let me know in the comments what you did for your very own happy hour!

Welcome to the #HappyMom challenge. For more information on the challenge, click here.

This is the flip side to yesterday’s challenge of starting the day before the kids wake up.

Today’s challenge is to give yourself permission to go to bed early. And I don’t mean like 11 p.m. early. I mean like put-the-kids-to-bed-and-then-get-your-butt-in-the-bed-too.

I’ve talked to soooo many moms and they admit that they cherish the time they have to themselves after the kids go to bed, staying up until midnight, 1 a.m. I’m guilty of it too. Then we wake up and wonder why we’re so tired.

Glamour and the Huffington Post have come up with a sleep challenge, to get women to get that bed and stay in it for at least 7 hours a night, or however many hours you need to feel your best. Check out the latest blog post from Glamour’s editor-in-chief on cutting down your to-do list in order to make more time to sleep.

So for my Happy Mom challenge, do this for me: Whatever time you usually go to bed, go to bed one hour earlier. Let’s just move in baby steps here.

Now, I understand that if you followed my advice and are getting up one hour earlier, then you’re just shifting what time you get out of bed, not really gaining any hours of sleep. BUT! My point is that we shouldn’t do both – we can’t stay up all hours of the day and night and then get up early and operate at our full potential.

Point blank: We need to do this. We NEED to get our rest. I’m so guilty of this. I get about 5 hours of sleep each night (if I’m lucky) and I usually don’t fall asleep - I pass out. It’s a bad habit.

Let’s all give ourselves permission to go to bed early. I’m talking like 8 p.m. Hell, 7:45 if you can swing it. What’s the worst that can happen if you go to bed early one night?

Leave me a comment letting me know what time you usually go to bed. I’m calling you out!

Welcome to challenge #5 of the Happy Mom series. For more info, click here.

So how many of you have living, breathing alarm clocks? By this I mean, you wake up every morning because the kids are awake. Then you jump out of bed, feeling like you’re already 10 minutes behind on your whole day.

Yup, that used to be me. Then I started working out in the mornings. (I know – shocking. If you had told me two years ago that I would be happily waking up at 5 a.m. just to sweat, I would’ve slapped you.)

I give myself time for a 25-minute workout, a nice, relaxed breakfast, and a nice, warm hot shower all before my kids woke up. If I was really ambitious, I could start dinner (yes, in the morning). My days were so much more calm because I could be PROACTIVE instead of just reacting to things all the time. I could get up early and with a clear head remember that The Boy needs more diapers at daycare and The Girl needs a spare pair of pants. I could remember that today is the day I meet with the designers on a project at work so I need to bring in some sample of other pieces I’ve produced. 

By waking up early, I’m ahead of the game and you know as a mom, that rarely happens.

But the best part of waking up before the kids (and I do mean a good hour, hour and a half before the kids wake up) is my morning tea. I just started this ritual but man, does it work for me. Get up early, immediately put on some water for tea. I don’t have a tea kettle so I just use the microwave. Then I let my tea bag steep while I do a few other things. Then I leisurely sip my tea and don’t think about anything at all. Nothing. Nada.

By the time I’m down to the last drop, I’m golden. I’m ready to face my day.

So this is your challenge, if you don’t do this already. Wake up a little earlier. I know your kids might be early risers, so getting up even earlier than they do might hurt a little bit. But try it. I promise you’ll like it. Let me know what time you got up and what you did with this newfound “me time.” *smile*

Welcome to challenge #4 in the Happy Mom series.

I knew motherhood had changed my life forever when I started rejecting movies based on their length. It took me an entire weekend of start-pause-start-pause-rewind-start-”What did he say?”-pause-play to watch the Curious Case of Benjamin Button, which clocks in at almost three hours.

After that, I started watching movies that were a more comfortable hour and a half. But then I realized, if I want to watch a three-hour movie, then dang it, I should be able to watch a three-hour movie!

But it was hard to just sit and focus on one thing – an incredibly good movie with Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchet, by the way – for so long. Someone was always interrupting me. “Mommy, can I have some orange juice?” “What’s for dinner?” “Thomas took my toys!” “Mommy, I have to go to the bathroom.” “Can you help me find my socks?”

So yes, I know this is hard, but this is your challenge: sit down and give yourself time to watch a long movie. Short films (under two hours) don’t count here. (At a loss at what movie to watch? Here’s a list of some longer movies to enjoy. And if there’s no long movie that you want to see, then watch two short ones back to back.) Pop some popcorn, put your feet up and enjoy some good cinematic storytelling. If your attention starts to wane, then use this time to do something for you. Paint your toes. Give yourself a good rubdown with some sweet-smelling lotion. Condition your hair. Do what you feel.

The point of this is not actually watching the movie. Well, it is. But the real point is that you are getting three hours of alone time. That is the point. I can usually be away from my kids for about an hour and then I start to feel guilty. But an extended period of “me time” every now and again never hurt anybody. *wink*

Let me know which movie you’re choosing in the comments. I think I’m going to use my three-day weekend to find some time to re-watch Benjamin Button – no interruptions this time.