I don’t even remember when I first met Natasha but I’m glad I did. Over the past several years she has been outspoken about everything that matters – equality, reproductive rights, respect for teen parents and more. She is one of my idols and I’m thrilled to salute her in this #SheInspires series:
Name: Natasha Vianna
Age: 26
Kids: 1 daughter, 8 years old
Twitter: twitter.com/natashavianna
Whenever I have a moment of free time I look forward to… reading. I recently finished Janet Mock’s book, Redefining Realness, and have been really reflecting on how a book can have such a great impact on my life. As a young mom, I think I so often looked for tasks to complete during free time but rarely focused on personal growth and emotional well-being. Books allow me to escape from current reality and travel into a place where my mind is nourished and stress fades away.
My mommy superpower is… being able to quickly and creatively craft a backup plan. There’s no such thing as bad news when it comes to changing plans with your child. So if something doesn’t go as planned, or it starts raining, or you realize you left your wallet in your other purse, there’s always an, “I have an awesome new idea” moment that makes me feel like I can take on the world.
On really tough days I… take naps. I wish I had something more motivating to say but naps can really change how I proceed through the rest of my entire day.
The thing that scares me the most about motherhood is… that you’re constantly feeling like you have to tip toe around situations that may bring judgment. Motherhood, especially young motherhood, isn’t seen as something women grow into or learn how to master so we’re left with stares and comments and unnecessary parenting tips from strangers in a grocery store. It scares me that our society doesn’t recognize and value women and mothers for their courage, creativity, and strength.
The thing that excites me the most about motherhood is… that I get to support, love, and nurture someone who will do the same for others someday. I have spent a lot of my time thinking about how the world can be a scary place and I’ve reflected a lot on the way so many people treated me. In a strange way, those negative experiences helped mold my plan to raise an empathetic and sensitive child who would go on to teach others the same.
I know for sure I’m passionate about… young mothers’ rights because, like Tara, I know how hard it is to parent young and how much harder it is when people feel the urge to shame you for your choices. Having given birth at 17, people have often dehumanized my daughter and labeled her as a public health issue or reduced her to one of the negative consequences of unsafe sex. My life and her life are often politicized and used as either examples or exceptions, but we were and are rarely seen as humans. This is why I partnered with 6 other amazing young mothers across the country to launch #NoTeenShame, a campaign raising awareness on the unnecessary stigmatization of teen parents in teen pregnancy prevention strategies.
If my daughter can only remember one thing I teach her, I hope it’s… the impact of love and respect. I was raised on tough love and the idea that children are not respected as experts on their own lives, and I do my best to challenge that and meet her in a safe middle ground. My hope is that as she moves on into adolescence and adulthood, she remembers the value of love and respect in how she engages with and interacts with people.
I feel like a great mom when… my daughter finds the strength to call me out on the things I need to work on. There are times when I’m stressed out and not giving her the attention she needs and she’ll just hold both of my hands, look into my eyes, and ask me if I need to take some deep breaths with her. Sometimes I smile and sometimes it makes me upset, but knowing that she has learned that responding in a loving way makes me feel like she will be such a great friend to so many people. Another time, I was super upset because her father was canceling another visitation weekend with her and had a hard time hiding my anger towards him. She hugged me and told me that while he was disappointing her, he was not hurting her and that her disappointment was not a burden I needed to carry. Yes, I almost cried.
My personal motto is... Being a young mother doesn’t mean you have to give up your youth. Your youthfulness is what will make this experience even greater! When we don’t fall into society’s expectations of what a mother needs to be or look like, I think we often beat ourselves up and try to meet those standards. As a teen mom, I thought that being a good mother meant acting more mature and being less goofy but that didn’t last long. Our goofiness is what got us through some difficult times.
One thing that would make motherhood easier is if... our society respected mothers in the workplace. I’m lucky to have a job where my boss understands when things just don’t go as planned and I never worry that my future in this role will be negatively impacted by these issues. While all mothers deserve this kind of understanding, not all will have this peace of mind.