Let’s Talk About Sex…But Maybe Not Have It Be So Awkward?

This post is sponsored by Bedsider. All opinions are my own.

Bedsider

A few years ago, my daughter asked me where babies come from.

Now, a few things you should know. I’m a family life educator. I have a Master’s degree in human development and family studies. I know how to answer this question!

But in that moment, I froze. Just stood there silently.

I wanted to give it to her straight. I tend to keep it real with my kids and knew I wasn’t going to tell her about storks and cabbage patch babies or any of that nonsense. When I was her age, my mom sat me down with an encyclopedia (why do I feel old saying that?), gave me a pen and paper and told me to read the section on “sex” and write a report for her. I was the only kindergartner who could tell you about Fallopian tubes and the vas deferens. I knew I wanted a different approach (no offense, Mom), but I hadn’t figured out what to tell her. She was 5 at the time. What’s age appropriate for a 5-year-old?

Luckily, my daughter wasn’t letting me off the hook. “Mom, did you hear my question?”

“I sure did,” I said, trying to hurry and give her a satisfactory answer. “Well, when two people love each other…”

“Yes…”

“They kiss and hug…and then the baby is formed inside the mom’s belly.”

“So that’s it? Just kissing and hugging?”

“No, not just kissing and hugging.” I take a deep breath. “The man has sperm inside his body and the woman has itty bitty eggs inside hers. When they come together, it forms what will later become a baby.”

She looked like she was considering the validity of what I just told her. “Okay, then,” she said, skipping off to play with her brother.

And there you have it. Our first conversation about sex and reproduction. Whew!

But as she gets older, I know those conversations are going to get more specific and emotional. My goal is to make sure both my kids are sexually literate. (That’s a thing, right?) and that they feel comfortable coming to me with questions about sex and relationships and all the emotions within.

However, I know that it can be awkward for both parties. As much as I hope my daughter sees me as a cool mom, I fear she’s gonna see me just like this grandma – ha!

I’m grateful that there are so many reputable, fun resources out here for women (and men!) to learn about birth control to help take the awkwardness out of the conversation. Hands down, my favorite is Bedsider.org. I’ve written about Bedsider before and highly recommend clicking around the site to read their Frisky Friday posts – always a fun read.

I love that Bedsider can send you daily, weekly or monthly reminders when it’s time to take care of your birth control, whether it’s pill, the ring or the patch. While it’s important to educate yourself on the important types of birth control, it’s even more important to know where to get it and how much it’s going to cost you, right? Bedsider also helps you find the closest health center.

While I have a few more years before I have to even think about birth control for my daughter, I still visit it regularly to keep up to date on what’s new and to read the fun facts about sex they post on their social media accounts. I’m happy to have a great resource so close at hand for when she has more questions — I’m ready!

Tell me: How do you plan to talk to your kids about sex?

Comments

  1. I love this explanation! My daughter “knows” that babies come from mommy’s belly (because she seen mine grow) but she hasn’t quite asked how her little brother got in there. I have to prepare myself for when she asks this question!

  2. It may not be as awkward as you think because you are starting to talk to her early. Now that my daughter is 14, I don’t feel like we’ve ever really had to have one big awkward sex conversation because she has always felt comfortable coming to me with questions over the years, so it just ends up being more conversational and we talk about things as they come up or she has questions etc. Not to say that there aren’t awkward moments, but you’ve already shown her that the lines of communication are open, so once you do have to get to the big stuff, you’ll be fine!

    • Thanks, Aja!! I’m hoping it won’t be so awkward or she won’t be too embarrassed to come to me because I tend to be very open about sex and related topics. I’m happy your daughter is comfortable talking to you – and p.s., I can’t believe she’s 14 already! Wow.